my journal 3

the systems made their first trade in months and it's a short trade on NG

corsi keeps bringing up the truth, which is that obama is gay:
Dr. Jerome Corsi exposes Barack Obama's gay past at WND

but this is the only aspect i would not attack obama for (the birth certificate is important on the other hand, and corsi focused on that as well), but it's worth mentioning because it shows a weak spot of the president, and potential blackmailing

what's wrong with being gay? are you hurting anyone?

what's funny is that obama will get away for BP oil spill, which is a conspiracy and happened under his presidency, and will get away for the drones, and with every other crime, but he may get in trouble for being gay. I don't understand why corsi keeps bothering him on this though, given that there's plenty of material to criticize him for, and corsi is a serious researcher. But i don't know much about him so he probably has a good reason - probably exactly the fact that he wants obama to fail and not win the next election - and maybe he thinks that romney will be better.
 
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damn

on my first day of automated trading, i lost over 1000 dollars

what's worst is that the closed positions (both zn and ng) would have yielded an extra 1000 dollars.

so my choice of closing my positions and starting trading my systems cost me 2000 dollars

well

now nothing i can do about it

i am automated all the way and can't go back

can only hope for the best from my 13 systems

...

the two guests went to dinner to the restaurant again - the bitch has had him again, and she did so at lunch as well

at this point i think he's not sure whether to be mad at me for inviting him on vacation or at her for exploiting him, or both

they got what they deserved: she deserves nothing and he played bored when the old maid who lived with my grandma (and who still lives alone in her house) was telling them her awesome recipes. They both played bored and smiled at each other - that's the minute I decided i was done with these two guys, and it was the first few hours of our vacation together. After they disrespected the maid (who's like a relative to all of us by now, after working for decades in that house), I was done with them both.

Now I am counting the days and hours that are needed for their departure: thu, fri, sat, when my parents will join us so it will be easy to handle them, because I'll be with my parents.

These people have got some qualities, and they're overall better guests than the previous guests. However, they blew it with the maid. So, even if they still like me, I am trying to get rid of them. Of course they like me: what on earth did i do to them? I hosted them.

By now on the other hand, it is clear that I cannot get along with too many people on vacation: probably no one unless they're my relatives, living in another house, and came here by themselves.

I reached this conclusion by realizing that my ideal guests should live in a nearby hotel and meet me once a day for 2 hours. So basically i don't want any guests. I want people coming on vacation, living one kilometer away, and liking me so much that they want to meet me once a day, for two hours, and do whatever i decide to do with them. This bitch wants us to pay for her, so she's not good enough. He'd be good, but you know the problem - i mentioned it in a previous post. Besides, if we were alone, just as with everyone else, i could never leave him by himself for the whole day except those 2 hours, so basically I cannot have any guests. The ideal guest would be a japanese girlfriend, but i don't have money for that right now.
 
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564463_279867968793317_907483161_n.jpg

from:
A Sheep No More | Facebook
 
can't sleep

position is making nothing at all

regret closing ng and zn

bad weather

7 am now

3 more days to go until they leave

they blew it big time, by disrespecting the maid

i'll keep avoiding these guys until the last day, keeping relationship as rare as my good manners allow me to

hopefully today i'll get back some of the 1000 lost yesterday, so i can keep running my systems

now i am in their hands, completely

no more discretionary trades

I entered after a drawdown, let's hope it doesn't keep on going down

had i kept on doing discretionary trading, i would have blown out my account anyway
 
minor confrontation with both guests:

guest 1) asked for the umpteenth time to use my computer, so I let him, but was growing quite resentful while he was using it because 1) i told him weeks before he left if he'd need to use any computer and if so to bring his own because i would not let him use mine. And 2) I am keeping all my stuff on this one and didn't want him to use it, just as i had told him already, but of course he forgot, as usual, he forgets what's comfortable to forget. So, all of a sudden, I said to him: "look, here there's a problem..." and basically ultimately i told him that if he had to use my computer, even in front of me, I'd turn on the keylogger to monitor him (!). It is an extreme step to tell someone you don't trust him, but this moron had been warned not to ever ask me to use my computer and he didn't remember it. This guy is another one on my black list: never again on vacation with him. Deep****, idiot, cocksucker...

guest 2) asked me some bull**** question via text messaging, and then when i replied normally, she asked if "by the way" i was upset for some reason, and i replied "well, I am used to being alone, as you know". And she said they could leave early if they bothered me so much (she does it all the time, this kind of extreme threat, as she knows you won't accept and say "sure, leave"). Then I replied that it wasn't necessary, and to simply leave me alone, that I would not bother them. They are both upstairs, I paid for it, renting it from my aunt, as I do every summer... paying my aunt to host my "friends", who, more or less, stop being my friends once I spend a few days with them.

So now... well, they both got the message more or less, because she certainly told him, being the bitch that she is.

So ok, only 2 more days to go, and now they know I want to be alone. Excellent. Just two more days of suffering.

Deep down, deep inside, subconsciously, I might have invited them precisely to make sure I never see them again. I guess somehow I invite on vacation people who like me a lot, because i want to get rid of them - especially if I do not hold them in my highest esteem. As if i said "hey, you really like me? come on vacation with me". So hopefully they'll have enough of me and leave me alone in the future. But it doesn't happen. Usually I get sick of them, but they don't get sick of me. At least not as much. But this time it might really happen, because there wasn't a very solid friendship, like with the other guys whom I knew from highschool. I might go back to inviting those guys, provided they allow me to stay alone by myself, and provided that they pay for housing. Basically I am inviting them to spend some time in the neighborhood without interacting too much with me, except for a couple of hours per day. And especially without asking me to use my laptop.

Ideal thing would be to tell them to go to a nearby hotel. "I am inviting over this summer, but you'll have to pay your stay at a hotel nearby".
 
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now may be the time for my intervention, I can sense it's approaching

basically what happens is that all my friends get together (at the end of the school year or a vacation) to tell me that "i've got problems", usually of this nature: too antisocial, too self-centered and "you think too much".

I can tell these two have a desire to tell me something, but I think I will not give them a chance. I'll take advantage of the fact that they're together, and so each one can only get offended half, and cannot really take it too personally. Actually the more they think "i have problems", the less they should get offended.

The situation from my side instead is that I think they're just two more idiots on a long list I keep mentally.

Whether stupid or not, they're not worth my time, and I'm going to try to get rid of them. And if they stay my friends they're going to have to accept my terms. Precisely because i am so disappointed by them. They're going to be on a long list of disappointing friends who like me and whom I do not like, but I see nonetheless, for their enjoyment, but at least on my own terms. I don't trust these guys, or rather: I trust them to disappoint me.
 
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still one more day of survival with the systems trading: some systems losses recovered

systems are breaking even so far, in these two days of trading
 
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