Yamato
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Damn!
Damn me.
After winning a pretty impossible battle against management and getting to not be moved to another department just because my boss dislikes me, I am now obsessing about this internet troll.
I wish I had a team of trolls to go back and make his life impossible - oh, and a team of hackers, too.
I can't even sleep, nor focus on anything else. This guy hates me and doesn't want me to get on his favorite chat, and I don't know how to deal with him. It's an awful defeat to me.
I won a huge battle against management, and now I am shaking with rage and impotence about a troll met in a chat.
It is not the first time I obsess about an enemy. I almost always have one enemy on my mind. As soon as one enemy was removed from my view, I identified another enemy and focused entirely on him.
It's not even a problem of obsessing about enemies.
I obsess about everything: girlfriends, trading systems, conspiracies... i always need on thing to obsess about, whether beautiful, awful, or neutral.
I also tend to obsess about negative things, like problems. Problems with girlfriend, after getting her. I need work, I think.
I need work such as solving problems.
For example, I don't focus about beautiful things, because... don't know. It's more complex than that. I need intense feelings. I watch movies, one after the other.
I do things compulsively. I need to engage in compulsive activities, that's it.
That's what got me into trouble with the internet troll to begin with. I was talking in the chat, me, most of the time. And he got tired of my chatting, regardless of how much more intelligent it was than his chatting.
I cannot take it easy. And people get tired of my compulsive behaviour. I get it. He was rude. But I understand his desire to get rid of me.
Damn me.
After winning a pretty impossible battle against management and getting to not be moved to another department just because my boss dislikes me, I am now obsessing about this internet troll.
I wish I had a team of trolls to go back and make his life impossible - oh, and a team of hackers, too.
I can't even sleep, nor focus on anything else. This guy hates me and doesn't want me to get on his favorite chat, and I don't know how to deal with him. It's an awful defeat to me.
I won a huge battle against management, and now I am shaking with rage and impotence about a troll met in a chat.
It is not the first time I obsess about an enemy. I almost always have one enemy on my mind. As soon as one enemy was removed from my view, I identified another enemy and focused entirely on him.
It's not even a problem of obsessing about enemies.
I obsess about everything: girlfriends, trading systems, conspiracies... i always need on thing to obsess about, whether beautiful, awful, or neutral.
I also tend to obsess about negative things, like problems. Problems with girlfriend, after getting her. I need work, I think.
I need work such as solving problems.
For example, I don't focus about beautiful things, because... don't know. It's more complex than that. I need intense feelings. I watch movies, one after the other.
I do things compulsively. I need to engage in compulsive activities, that's it.
That's what got me into trouble with the internet troll to begin with. I was talking in the chat, me, most of the time. And he got tired of my chatting, regardless of how much more intelligent it was than his chatting.
I cannot take it easy. And people get tired of my compulsive behaviour. I get it. He was rude. But I understand his desire to get rid of me.
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Yamato
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Damn!
Back at work.
I need to write something, to vent out some frustration.
I still cannot digest having been insulted in that chat room.
I have always had this problem, if we can call it a problem. I am and always have been a reflective (?), thoughtful (?), meditative, pondering person. I don't know how to express the Italian term "riflessivo" in English.
How the hell is a person like me going to fight back on the internet or in person when someone, out of the blue, starts insulting you?
I simply cannot do it. Number one, because I am not used to insulting people, and this is because I am not rude and was brought up to respect people.
Number two because, being "reflective" (right term?), how am I supposed to come up, in a quick interactive chat, with an appropriate insult/reply to someone else's insults? On a forum, or journal like this one, I can do it very effectively (especially if I can ban the person from posting).
In a chat it's very hard, because as I said, I tend to be polite, and because I don't know the person, so I cannot yell random insults.
Whatever the case, whatever my reply, once I've been insulted in a chat, my experience is pretty much ruined. I was there to have an intellectual exchange, and, once I come across someone who insults me personally (ad hominem attack), it's all over. You're in that chat, you've been called "gay" or similar, people are not overwhelmingly siding with you (which is a very bad sign for the rest of the chat)... you leave the chat or you stay there and keep arguing with this guy. Either way, it is going to be an unpleasant chat.
Nonetheless I am pissed at this guy, not just because he was rude to me, but because he represents the last person in a long list of assholes I've met online and in real life.
I know how to react to this and win, easily but I won't do it, because it's not my character. I could solve that problem by doing this:
1) be "normal": don't ever step outside of the herd, be a regular sheep and don't say anything original. Always side with the majority.
2) be insensitive: I can't be insensitive. You're either sensitive, or you're not... you can't change it. Besides, if you're not sensitive, usually you're also stupid. Or maybe you could be insensitive by being extremely intelligent, but I am not there yet. Maybe I am too egocentric to be insensitive to personal attacks. Any attack to me, I take it very personally.
3) be mean: i cannot be mean for the mentioned reasons. I am polite and it is superficial to attack people you don't know.
Basically I am ****ed as far as this type of problem goes, that is the problem of receiving random insults by unknown people.
Being very obsessive, actually, I could solve this problem, too. How? Practice. If I spent the next two months wandering from one chat to the other, I could ace the trolls eventually. But is it worth it?
It might be worth it, because it's not really as pathetic as it seems - in fact it is a school of debate. It is like learning to play chess.
At the same time, you know what? I don't feel like it. I don't feel like becoming an ace at being an asshole. I'd rather focus on content, and avoid places where... not only there's people who spend time harassing others, but the others don't even isolate them.
If I were in a better mood, and with more free time, and if I will be in the future, this will be something that I'd like to get accomplished. We could call this "cyber-fencing". This is something I'd like to do with a coach, someone showing me the way to defeat a cyber-bully. Right now I am too depressed to take any more personal attacks on the web. It's not really something to be practiced when your self-confidence is low. And why is it so low? I can only be low when you have not succeeded with trading and you have not succeeded at your job. So far I cannot call myself a success at either. If anything, I could be accused of being a failure (albeit unfairly) - despite having done everything thoughtfully, with a clean conscience and great effort and attention to detail. I was aiming at success and haven't achieved it. As far as my personal life, I don't have a girlfriend, I am not married and lately, I get into arguments with all my friends. So, all things considered, now is not the ideal moment to engage trolls in a chat.
Fine, for now, I can't play the flute, I can't surf and I don't have a quick offensive reply to unexpected insults from random people, and in general I can't defeat bullies. Big deal. Well, it is a big deal, but let's try to accept my limits.
Back at work.
I need to write something, to vent out some frustration.
I still cannot digest having been insulted in that chat room.
I have always had this problem, if we can call it a problem. I am and always have been a reflective (?), thoughtful (?), meditative, pondering person. I don't know how to express the Italian term "riflessivo" in English.
How the hell is a person like me going to fight back on the internet or in person when someone, out of the blue, starts insulting you?
I simply cannot do it. Number one, because I am not used to insulting people, and this is because I am not rude and was brought up to respect people.
Number two because, being "reflective" (right term?), how am I supposed to come up, in a quick interactive chat, with an appropriate insult/reply to someone else's insults? On a forum, or journal like this one, I can do it very effectively (especially if I can ban the person from posting).
In a chat it's very hard, because as I said, I tend to be polite, and because I don't know the person, so I cannot yell random insults.
Whatever the case, whatever my reply, once I've been insulted in a chat, my experience is pretty much ruined. I was there to have an intellectual exchange, and, once I come across someone who insults me personally (ad hominem attack), it's all over. You're in that chat, you've been called "gay" or similar, people are not overwhelmingly siding with you (which is a very bad sign for the rest of the chat)... you leave the chat or you stay there and keep arguing with this guy. Either way, it is going to be an unpleasant chat.
Nonetheless I am pissed at this guy, not just because he was rude to me, but because he represents the last person in a long list of assholes I've met online and in real life.
I know how to react to this and win, easily but I won't do it, because it's not my character. I could solve that problem by doing this:
1) be "normal": don't ever step outside of the herd, be a regular sheep and don't say anything original. Always side with the majority.
2) be insensitive: I can't be insensitive. You're either sensitive, or you're not... you can't change it. Besides, if you're not sensitive, usually you're also stupid. Or maybe you could be insensitive by being extremely intelligent, but I am not there yet. Maybe I am too egocentric to be insensitive to personal attacks. Any attack to me, I take it very personally.
3) be mean: i cannot be mean for the mentioned reasons. I am polite and it is superficial to attack people you don't know.
Basically I am ****ed as far as this type of problem goes, that is the problem of receiving random insults by unknown people.
Being very obsessive, actually, I could solve this problem, too. How? Practice. If I spent the next two months wandering from one chat to the other, I could ace the trolls eventually. But is it worth it?
It might be worth it, because it's not really as pathetic as it seems - in fact it is a school of debate. It is like learning to play chess.
At the same time, you know what? I don't feel like it. I don't feel like becoming an ace at being an asshole. I'd rather focus on content, and avoid places where... not only there's people who spend time harassing others, but the others don't even isolate them.
If I were in a better mood, and with more free time, and if I will be in the future, this will be something that I'd like to get accomplished. We could call this "cyber-fencing". This is something I'd like to do with a coach, someone showing me the way to defeat a cyber-bully. Right now I am too depressed to take any more personal attacks on the web. It's not really something to be practiced when your self-confidence is low. And why is it so low? I can only be low when you have not succeeded with trading and you have not succeeded at your job. So far I cannot call myself a success at either. If anything, I could be accused of being a failure (albeit unfairly) - despite having done everything thoughtfully, with a clean conscience and great effort and attention to detail. I was aiming at success and haven't achieved it. As far as my personal life, I don't have a girlfriend, I am not married and lately, I get into arguments with all my friends. So, all things considered, now is not the ideal moment to engage trolls in a chat.
Fine, for now, I can't play the flute, I can't surf and I don't have a quick offensive reply to unexpected insults from random people, and in general I can't defeat bullies. Big deal. Well, it is a big deal, but let's try to accept my limits.
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Yamato
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I think it all boils down to this: according to my education, upbringing and everything, I am not ready to punch someone in the face, and I am not ready to be punched.
This doesn't just apply to physical fights but also to verbal fights. I've been brought up having it really easy and I am not going to get down to the level of having fights.
So when this happens, I really... I am really uncomfortable. I feel like Chance the Gardener:
Being There - End Credits - YouTube
Yeah, this is another scene. I couldn't find the one where he's in the street and meets some thugs, takes his remote control out of his pocket, and tries to change the channel.
Don't come to me with the usual accusation of "you're coward", which is really bull****, because a soldier with a gun slaughtering unarmed or poorly armed people is not more of a hero than me. Nor is a bully a hero.
The problem with me happens also when this old aunt tells me that I am old. I am not going to tell her: look who's talking, you're this much older than me!
The problem therefore comes from an unwillingness to hurt, even if it's easy and even if it means shooting on the red cross. And I am not willing to hurt simply because I am rational and producing damage is stupidity to me. Instead these trolls are willing to produce moral/physical damage and that's what this problem is like: you can't solve it because if you solved it, you'd be like them and it doesn't make sense to be like them. The real question is how could I defeat a bully without being hurt and without hurting them? That's why it is so hard... look at that veteran troll. I could have found so many weaknesses in his situation: he's at home, unemployed, totally ignorant... no career, no anything, but i didn't feel like hitting him where it hurts. So he won. The chat is replete with ignorance and stupid subjects, and they're all reassuring each other that they're the right ones, they're are the just, the ones blessed by god...
It's a very complex problem.
It's even more complex than I thought. In fact if I could make all these bullies disappear, I'd press the button. But if I have to shoot them, I am not going to do it.
And also the problem is bigger, because we all are bullies. A doctor may be bullied in the street, but at the hospital he may act as a bully with patients or nurses.
I may act arrogantly as far as using excel.
It's a long long story. In a situation or another we probably all have acted as a bully, cyber-bully, cultural-bully, intellectual bully, musical bully... you know what I mean.
A bully is someone who has power and abuses it by making others feel inferior. Or similar. I am not prone to being a bully in every situation, but I am sure I've been a bully in one situation or another, and probably am a bully on a daily basis without even realizing it.
I went off-topic. But I did manage to write down a lot on the problem. What goes on in my mind, what went on in my life, and this is the point of my journal.
This doesn't just apply to physical fights but also to verbal fights. I've been brought up having it really easy and I am not going to get down to the level of having fights.
So when this happens, I really... I am really uncomfortable. I feel like Chance the Gardener:
Being There - End Credits - YouTube
Yeah, this is another scene. I couldn't find the one where he's in the street and meets some thugs, takes his remote control out of his pocket, and tries to change the channel.
Don't come to me with the usual accusation of "you're coward", which is really bull****, because a soldier with a gun slaughtering unarmed or poorly armed people is not more of a hero than me. Nor is a bully a hero.
The problem with me happens also when this old aunt tells me that I am old. I am not going to tell her: look who's talking, you're this much older than me!
The problem therefore comes from an unwillingness to hurt, even if it's easy and even if it means shooting on the red cross. And I am not willing to hurt simply because I am rational and producing damage is stupidity to me. Instead these trolls are willing to produce moral/physical damage and that's what this problem is like: you can't solve it because if you solved it, you'd be like them and it doesn't make sense to be like them. The real question is how could I defeat a bully without being hurt and without hurting them? That's why it is so hard... look at that veteran troll. I could have found so many weaknesses in his situation: he's at home, unemployed, totally ignorant... no career, no anything, but i didn't feel like hitting him where it hurts. So he won. The chat is replete with ignorance and stupid subjects, and they're all reassuring each other that they're the right ones, they're are the just, the ones blessed by god...
It's a very complex problem.
It's even more complex than I thought. In fact if I could make all these bullies disappear, I'd press the button. But if I have to shoot them, I am not going to do it.
And also the problem is bigger, because we all are bullies. A doctor may be bullied in the street, but at the hospital he may act as a bully with patients or nurses.
I may act arrogantly as far as using excel.
It's a long long story. In a situation or another we probably all have acted as a bully, cyber-bully, cultural-bully, intellectual bully, musical bully... you know what I mean.
A bully is someone who has power and abuses it by making others feel inferior. Or similar. I am not prone to being a bully in every situation, but I am sure I've been a bully in one situation or another, and probably am a bully on a daily basis without even realizing it.
I went off-topic. But I did manage to write down a lot on the problem. What goes on in my mind, what went on in my life, and this is the point of my journal.
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Yamato
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Google Books Ngram Viewer
Excellent tool from google:
Google Ngram Viewer
Google Ngram Viewer
This chart shows that the term started getting used as the conspiracies started taking place:
Google Ngram Viewer - "conspiracy theorist"
Excellent tool from google:
Google Ngram Viewer
Google Ngram Viewer
This chart shows that the term started getting used as the conspiracies started taking place:
Google Ngram Viewer - "conspiracy theorist"
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Yamato
Legendary member
- Messages
- 9,840
- Likes
- 246
Yamato
Legendary member
- Messages
- 9,840
- Likes
- 246
Yamato
Legendary member
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This should be good:
Watch The Campaign online - download TheCampaign - on 1Channel | LetMeWatchThis
...
Yeah, it was quite good: the closest to the truth that hollywood could go.
Watch The Campaign online - download TheCampaign - on 1Channel | LetMeWatchThis
...
Yeah, it was quite good: the closest to the truth that hollywood could go.
Last edited:
Yamato
Legendary member
- Messages
- 9,840
- Likes
- 246
Yamato
Legendary member
- Messages
- 9,840
- Likes
- 246
Yamato
Legendary member
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doing OK
maybe it's because i avoided the chat where I get insulted
Maybe it's because yesterday I made a few hundreds
maybe because i am getting over the big scare of getting moved to another office.
Big rise of visitors in the past few weeks, and yet in the last 12 hours very few visitors, for one reason or another - actually I have more visitors in the weekend.
In the background I am still reasoning - but not all of the time - about that interaction i had in the chat and all its implications. One of them is that I might have not reacted because I am not in the mood for fighting. Also, hitting someone (verbally) takes me more effort than it takes most people, so I am handicapped in that way from the start. In other words, I am too honest and fair to be fighting, in many ways this is the case.
maybe it's because i avoided the chat where I get insulted
Maybe it's because yesterday I made a few hundreds
maybe because i am getting over the big scare of getting moved to another office.
Big rise of visitors in the past few weeks, and yet in the last 12 hours very few visitors, for one reason or another - actually I have more visitors in the weekend.
In the background I am still reasoning - but not all of the time - about that interaction i had in the chat and all its implications. One of them is that I might have not reacted because I am not in the mood for fighting. Also, hitting someone (verbally) takes me more effort than it takes most people, so I am handicapped in that way from the start. In other words, I am too honest and fair to be fighting, in many ways this is the case.
Yamato
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OK, news from human resources. She called to tell me that my new part-time schedule form needs to be resubmitted, because the one that I have filed in printed form has become obsolete and now there's just an online intranet form to be filed.
She did not mention anything about how they tried to move me, and I talked to the union, and got to stay where I am. She pretended she didn't know about it.
Actually she asked me if I was interested in her offer to have two years of salary and then leave, and I said that, after talking to my parents, I have decided that I am not interested. I wonder why she asked. If it was in order to pretend that she knew nothing about the fact that I talked to the union, or for some other sinister reason.
In the meanwhile I will lose several hundreds on a trade on NG, by the systems, as usual. (No discretionary trading in several weeks, probably more than a month).
Damn, my drawdown ordeal is not over yet.
The only good thing about today is that I saw my part-time schedule of next year, and i will leave at 14:30. That is the only good part of today.
Damn it. When the hell are these systems going to produce any money?
I am still at the same capital where I began trading them two months ago. In two months they should have made the expected average of 12 thousand dollars and instead they made six thousand and lost six thousand. When the hell is my patience and hard work going to be rewarded.
I've already endured one assassination attempt here at the office, countless idiots trying to bother me. I've endured countless crooks everywhere. I've endured mean relatives, including my father. When am I going to get some money so I can finally do some drugs and pay some prostitutes?
...
NG is quickly recovering some of the losses, so I might not lose as much as I thought I would. GBP trade open, which is doing OK so far.
Overall, not happy at all. Better than last week, but not happy. Quite paranoid, too. I was just thinking that each time she asks me if I want money to leave, I feel insulted. I said "no, thanks", but now I am feeling like I should have said "**** you".
She did not mention anything about how they tried to move me, and I talked to the union, and got to stay where I am. She pretended she didn't know about it.
Actually she asked me if I was interested in her offer to have two years of salary and then leave, and I said that, after talking to my parents, I have decided that I am not interested. I wonder why she asked. If it was in order to pretend that she knew nothing about the fact that I talked to the union, or for some other sinister reason.
In the meanwhile I will lose several hundreds on a trade on NG, by the systems, as usual. (No discretionary trading in several weeks, probably more than a month).
Damn, my drawdown ordeal is not over yet.
The only good thing about today is that I saw my part-time schedule of next year, and i will leave at 14:30. That is the only good part of today.
Damn it. When the hell are these systems going to produce any money?
I am still at the same capital where I began trading them two months ago. In two months they should have made the expected average of 12 thousand dollars and instead they made six thousand and lost six thousand. When the hell is my patience and hard work going to be rewarded.
I've already endured one assassination attempt here at the office, countless idiots trying to bother me. I've endured countless crooks everywhere. I've endured mean relatives, including my father. When am I going to get some money so I can finally do some drugs and pay some prostitutes?
...
NG is quickly recovering some of the losses, so I might not lose as much as I thought I would. GBP trade open, which is doing OK so far.
Overall, not happy at all. Better than last week, but not happy. Quite paranoid, too. I was just thinking that each time she asks me if I want money to leave, I feel insulted. I said "no, thanks", but now I am feeling like I should have said "**** you".
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Yamato
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the fascinating world of Google Ngram
I am getting better at using Google Ngram, because my colleague asked me about it.
Google Ngram Viewer
"bullying" - Google Search
Francis Horner - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
dude...! he wrote this in 1843
I am getting better at using Google Ngram, because my colleague asked me about it.
Google Ngram Viewer
"bullying" - Google Search
Francis Horner - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
dude...! he wrote this in 1843
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Yamato
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she's one mother ****ing mature bitch
I ALMOST GOT KILLED BY THE OTHERS JUST NOW!!! REPOST!!! - YouTube
I am serious. Doesn't matter whether she had sex on camera and did some stupid mtv programs - right now this girl is one of the most mature girls for her age. Listen to every word she says, because she's not being paranoid at all, but merely telling the truth.
We're lucky that, by some strange situation, she broke up with the elite and is telling us what's on her mind. And we're lucky that she's still alive.
She knows everything about mind control via the media.
This is what she was doing
A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila Brandi vs Vanessa Big Decision - YouTube
And you saw what she is saying now
This is what pete santilli says about her:
Episode #246 - Tila Tequila Knows Something Very Important That None Of Us Should Ignore - YouTube
I ALMOST GOT KILLED BY THE OTHERS JUST NOW!!! REPOST!!! - YouTube
I am serious. Doesn't matter whether she had sex on camera and did some stupid mtv programs - right now this girl is one of the most mature girls for her age. Listen to every word she says, because she's not being paranoid at all, but merely telling the truth.
We're lucky that, by some strange situation, she broke up with the elite and is telling us what's on her mind. And we're lucky that she's still alive.
She knows everything about mind control via the media.
This is what she was doing
A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila Brandi vs Vanessa Big Decision - YouTube
And you saw what she is saying now
This is what pete santilli says about her:
Episode #246 - Tila Tequila Knows Something Very Important That None Of Us Should Ignore - YouTube
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Yamato
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Kenny sunshine interviews Breatharian, Genesis sunfire pt1 - YouTube
I gotta investigate this "breatharian" dude. Fruitarians eat only fruits. Vegetarians we know. So breatharian probably only breathes? Gotta study this.
I gotta investigate this "breatharian" dude. Fruitarians eat only fruits. Vegetarians we know. So breatharian probably only breathes? Gotta study this.
Yamato
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5 Hour Paranoid Paranoia Fest-All You Need To Know About Alex Jones - YouTube
damn, despite all this stuff on youtube against alex jones, i still haven't found enough evidence that he's a cointelpro agent
damn, despite all this stuff on youtube against alex jones, i still haven't found enough evidence that he's a cointelpro agent
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Yamato
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Practically a majority of conspiracy theory radio hosts are veterans. I wonder why. I don't think that a majority of americans are veterans, and even less a majority of cultured americans. However, for some reason, the truth movement is lead for its majority by veterans. I don't understand why yet.
...
Anyway, i understood everything my dad told me about this "line" thing and how it applies to my chat with those truthers/veterans. If you are the last to join a group, you can't start talking immediately as if you are the leader, because someone is going to be bothered. It is not in the natural order of things that the last arrived talks more than everyone else. I tend to do that a lot, and every time i get in trouble for it. The "order of arrival", I've got to remember to respect it, and get in line. Whether in chats with veterans, or while talking with relatives. I guess this happened with that bitch aunt at the beach, who ended up reminding me my age, maybe because i interrupted her to steal the spotlight from her. Bitch, and assholes anyway, but now I see what my father is talking about. Now i understand the world better. Here on this journal, I barely managed to keep things under control. Now it's easy, because I can block people. But earlier on, it wasn't easy. I haven't learned much about being around people, mainly because i haven't been around people. And yet I also have some qualities in dealing with people. I can't remember exactly what they are, but I know I have them. In other words, I found myself in many situations where I was the leader of the group and deciding what the group did and so on. For some reason I either am alone or I am leading some group somewhere, but this might be two things showing the same problem I have: I cannot be a regular member of a group. That's just impossible for me.
...
Anyway, i understood everything my dad told me about this "line" thing and how it applies to my chat with those truthers/veterans. If you are the last to join a group, you can't start talking immediately as if you are the leader, because someone is going to be bothered. It is not in the natural order of things that the last arrived talks more than everyone else. I tend to do that a lot, and every time i get in trouble for it. The "order of arrival", I've got to remember to respect it, and get in line. Whether in chats with veterans, or while talking with relatives. I guess this happened with that bitch aunt at the beach, who ended up reminding me my age, maybe because i interrupted her to steal the spotlight from her. Bitch, and assholes anyway, but now I see what my father is talking about. Now i understand the world better. Here on this journal, I barely managed to keep things under control. Now it's easy, because I can block people. But earlier on, it wasn't easy. I haven't learned much about being around people, mainly because i haven't been around people. And yet I also have some qualities in dealing with people. I can't remember exactly what they are, but I know I have them. In other words, I found myself in many situations where I was the leader of the group and deciding what the group did and so on. For some reason I either am alone or I am leading some group somewhere, but this might be two things showing the same problem I have: I cannot be a regular member of a group. That's just impossible for me.
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Yamato
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- 246
Tired today and don't feel like writing. Didn't sleep well. There's that, and there's that I am at work and shouldn't engage in web browsing, so I won't write today - not from work at least. And lately I feel like I am returning to normalcy as I am growing older, out of fatigue, so this compulsive writing might decrease.
For example, the compulsive gambling urge is not that strong. It could also be due to experience and to knowing that, with it, I always end up blowing out my account.
I also feel much less the need for talking, for being in the spotlight. I am quite satisfied with this, because these are all harmful or useless activities.
Not that I've stopped thinking. I've simply stopped feeling the need to talk, and other compulsive activities. If this is really the case and it's not a momentary phase, it would be great, because it can save me a lot of money and time to just straight go home without the need to go to the movies.
Also, instead of coming here and complaining about social problems, i can simply work on solving them. And I can come here to write about geopolitics, as I've been doing lately.
This could also be the end of my self-centeredness rather than the end of my energy. In other words, the decreased need for talking could derive from the end of the desire to express something (my point of view) rather than from the end of the energy to express it. I am coming to the realization that I am not that important, and my point of view is not that right or precious, or important.
Or maybe I am totally wrong, and instead I am talking less out of having been disappointed so often, by so many idiots around me, that I've gotten used to not expecting any pleasure out of social interaction.
For example, the compulsive gambling urge is not that strong. It could also be due to experience and to knowing that, with it, I always end up blowing out my account.
I also feel much less the need for talking, for being in the spotlight. I am quite satisfied with this, because these are all harmful or useless activities.
Not that I've stopped thinking. I've simply stopped feeling the need to talk, and other compulsive activities. If this is really the case and it's not a momentary phase, it would be great, because it can save me a lot of money and time to just straight go home without the need to go to the movies.
Also, instead of coming here and complaining about social problems, i can simply work on solving them. And I can come here to write about geopolitics, as I've been doing lately.
This could also be the end of my self-centeredness rather than the end of my energy. In other words, the decreased need for talking could derive from the end of the desire to express something (my point of view) rather than from the end of the energy to express it. I am coming to the realization that I am not that important, and my point of view is not that right or precious, or important.
Or maybe I am totally wrong, and instead I am talking less out of having been disappointed so often, by so many idiots around me, that I've gotten used to not expecting any pleasure out of social interaction.
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