my journal 2

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Ok, retiring at 61

Ok, I am done with creating the 61st and last system. As of now I am officially retired.

The rest of my life will be dedicated to making the systems neat and smooth from now on. I definitely have a few systems that work, out of all the systems I created.

I will focus on discretionary trading and training (myself).

I am done. And if I am not really done, I am done for at least 6 months with creating new ones.

Now I will focus on conquering discretionary trading, and myself.

Capital... damn, I wish I never invested any money in all these years. If I didn't, capital now would not be a problem. I would have at least 50k more.

But how can you ask a person to do just paper trading for 13 years? If I hadn't been attracted to the markets, I could have done it, but I would not have done all this either if I hadn't been attracted to the markets. I wouldn't even have started.

If you have what it takes you don't have what it takes because you like it too much. If you have the right attitude, you're not even going to do it, because you don't like it enough.

It's hard to find the people with the right combination of needed characteristics.
 
Re: Ok, retiring at 61

i think its 5% that possess the right combination. i do think given enough funding and satisfaction of making 2% makes it alot easier. In the last 4 months i've made a return of just over 25%. Throughout those 4 months i was disappointed most days but now i feel alot better about it. A good hedge fund makes 10% a year. If you are beating that then you are still doing very good.
 
more "begging trades within the mas"

Today I'll do a one 10-trades series for this as well (see previous posts for explanation). I am tired. I didn't sleep well enough.

It was a bloodshed. I got carried away into revenge trading, despite staying within the moving averages:

-52% (I did 26 trades because I forgot the count by how upset I was)
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-24,4

I did not wait for opportunities.

Maybe I should allow myself to make a maximum of 2 trades per chart.
 
more "begging trades within the mas"

-20%:
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-25,3

I will stop here.

There's just too much impatience in me to even play this game properly.

Yesterday I set my mind to it and did great (see prev.post).

Today I've already run out of patience.

I am not patient enough to do any simulation (paper trading).

I don't know if I am even patient enough to do any trading with real money and at least wait for opportunities there.

If I could get into the habit that a discretionary trade is an unusual event, then I could probably make money.

But if every day I open up tws and look for trades to make, that is not the type of trading where I can be profitable. With my set of skills I could only be profitable if I traded once a week.

That is why trading systems are the only choice for me.

But I don't have the capital for them, since I've lost it all already.

It's a complex situation.

Luckily someone else is trusting my systems with their capital (at least until now), more than I ever did, and so, if they will eventually work (they have been in a drawdown for the last 3 months), I will get out victoriously of this vicious circle (i have too little capital for automated trading, try to increase it with discretionary trading, lose it all, i have little capital... on and on).

I may have come across winning ideas and winning training methods for discretionary trading in all these years, but I was too impatient and immodest to stick with them long enough to produce any profits. The reason is that - like with women - losses hurt me too much. So I stop trying, or rather: I stop trusting a (potentially winning) method, as soon as it causes me losses. The same with women: I've stopped approaching women a long time ago, because I don't like to be rejected. And in the States it is not a problem because they approach you if they are interested. In Italy even if a woman likes you... anyway back to trading.

I cannot take defeats in life, and I never try anything where I am not already good. But in some things you could maybe be good from the start. But in trading it's hard to be good from the start. And it's hard to get good if you don't stick to a method and practice it. Unless maybe I enrolled in a (serious) trading course, which I will never do because I think they're all scams, I will never be able to turn profitable as a discretionary trader.

See for example my ideas about the "10 candles" and "begging trades" were good ones, and I might have gotten really really good at it, by practicing them. But now they caused me losses for a couple of chart game sessions and I already lost interest in them. I even lost interest in the so praised moving averages.

With my systems it's different. I code it, I work my ass off on it, and once it's there it stays there in the excel file, even if it loses for 3 straight months. If it weren't this way, I would have no systems, because by now they would all have disappointed me and would have been discarded.

This is crazy: now I see it clearly, but this won't lead me anywhere, because it's stronger than me. The impatience, denial, and intolerance for losses, is stronger and wipes out every realization and knowledge. I cannot take a game where randomness is a factor. Or rather than randomness a unpredictability due to limited knowledge. If I shoot I want to hit the target. It drives me crazy that I do everything properly and I don't make money. I definitely take losses personally.

I think this has to do with my dad pressuring me all my life to achieve better and better at everything: academics, sports, culture... anything you're not the best at you should avoid, because it's a shame to not be the best at something. Normalcy for my dad and me - the way he brought me up - is that we're the best at everything we do. I was often told by my dad something like "of course you did well: you're the best... but you could have done better" as a reason for never being told "good job". In a sense... actually in all senses, and relentlessly, he gave me the impression that I should be ashamed if I didn't manage to be the best at everything. So I always felt like everyone else sucked, but I sucked, too, because the normalcy for me was supposed to be being the best and whenever I failed I should have felt ashamed. Since sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I failed, I ended up feeling like a failure, since my standard was set to #1 at everything.

This has totally ruined my life. Let alone with women, because I was never satisfied because any woman who wasn't pretty enough I could not even be seen with... anyway. This is what is stopping from learning how to trade: that I can't already be the best at it. That I can't succeed at every trade, and when failure happens, I say "**** this". It's ridiculous, but that's really how subconsciously I throw away every discretionary method that fails even just once.

Hopefully automated trading will solve this, because having built all those systems I don't really look at the single defeat as a personal offence to me. I would be happy if the week ended profitable. But even here a drawdown of 3 months like we've had, is a personal offence, from god or whoever is moving the markets.
 
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**** this: I'll practice more

If there's anything I learned from the post above that I should just keep on practicing more to see if I can learn to accept losses without being destabilized by them so much that I throw away the method that caused them.

So I'll now do more 10-trades series for the 10 candles method, because that's much easier on my brain.

I'll post them here below.

Wait: I will add a little variation. I can stay as long as 10 weeks (10 weekly candles) but I can also exit sooner if I want to. I still have to make the trade as soon as the chart is shown to me. I was tempted to allow myself to pass, but that way I would not be forced to understand all types of markets. Instead: I am forcing myself to make a bet on ANY situation I see.

Oh, and, not to cheat, I have to stay at least 5 candles. Otherwise it would be too easy to make the trade and get out after 1 candle.

So the rules are:

1) start trade immediately
2) stay from 5 to 10 candles (discretionary)

Done first series:
-62%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-27,10

I am learning. I learned that the green or red candle doesn't really matters. What matters is all the previous candles and support and resistance. You often get this optical illusion when you see a white/green (depending on software) candle, that makes you feel NOW things are going to rise. That's misleading I think. We'll see.

Changed rules again:
1) start trade immediately
2) stay 10 candles no matter what

I changed them because I often get scared when the markets go against me but within the 10 candles they go my way if I was right, and I shouldn't have gotten out. Being trapped in a trade can be better than being able to get out. Anyway, as i said yesterday, you need something to forbid your self-defeating tendency to cut winners and let losses run. Freedom is not that good. Even Jesse Livermore said it, that when he first switched to regular stock trading, he lost money, and that in the bucket shops he was trading better because they had a fixed stoploss.

Some things I am sure about are these:

1) if price is rising and the previous peaks (I only see 4 years of it) are higher, it is likely to keep on rising. Viceversa for the falling.

2) if price is rising beyond the previous peak, it is also likely to keep on rising. Viceversa for the falling.

But when is a rising/falling price not likely to continue then?

3) if price is rising and has reached the previous peak, it is likely to correct for a little while. Viceversa for the falling.

These three rules above are basically the concept of support and resistance. Above support and above resistance a rising price will keep on rising. Below support and below resistance a falling price will keep on falling. I don't know all the implications, but those two lines work as bus stops. And where are those two lines? Roughly speaking, since I am given 4 years, at the top and bottom of the chart: the lowest it fell and the highest it rose. But this is all discretionary, because it has a lot to do with the way candles appear on the chart.

Anyway, essentially, whenever I am presented with a new chart, I have to identify where the bus stops are and where the bus is going (up or down).

If the bus is going up and it is beyond the last bus stop, within the next 10 candles it will keep on going there. I have to bet for that bus ride to continue, no matter what green/red candles I see.

If the bus stop has reached a bus stop, things change.... I'll have to play more before I can finish this comparison.

But here's a simple example I am seeing now. I am shown 4 years and I have to make my bet immediately. I see the last bus stop behind us, and the bus is going up, so i am betting it will continue - with the requirement that we have to stay on the bus for 10 periods (10 weekly candles), because otherwise we cannot focus on the big picture and even now I am thinking that a requirement of 20 candles would be better but I'll keep 10.

Snap2.jpg

Anyway, I am betting that the bus will keep on going up, since there are no bus stops in sight.

Ok, and it did. Here's the chart. Too bad I had to stay exactly for just 10 candles:

Snap3.jpg

Let's do a couple more example with more pictures.

Next chart.

Ok, here there no stops in sight, and no bus stops even behind us. And it is going up.

Snap4.jpg


So I am betting that it will keep on going up. Let's see what happens:

Snap5.jpg


How was I supposed to know that at 120 there was an invisible bus stop and that it would have turned around? I don't think I could have predicted this. So I am satisfied with my (huge) loss. Just because I am writing here, otherwise I would shut down the web page and abandon the project.

Let's do one more:

Ok, this is going down and the bus stop is still far. I am betting it will keep on going down:

Snap6.jpg


And it did, but then, after reaching the bus stop (almost) it came back up. So we might benefit from a rule that when the bus stop is reached we can get off the bus:

Snap7.jpg
 
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more 10 candles with bus stop rule

New rules:

1) start trade immediately
2) stay 10 candles but you get off at bus stop (or nearby if it turns around)

I am going to finish the 10-trades series started earlier (don't confuse the 10-trades series doesn't have to do with the 10-candles requirement).

I won't post any more charts but will follow the logic described in the previous post.

-24%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-28,10

Will do more, because this is not tiring, especially after creating this (discretionary) method.

Ok, so first i identify where it's going, and then I focus on identifying the bus stops.

But don't overbought/oversold levels count? Because right now I am seeing a very oversold chart...

No, they don't count. Those lead to top and bottom picking which always blew out my accounts.

Ok, so this would be a short trade, because we're going down and the bus stop is lower than where we are. It doesn't look good, but the rules say so:

Snap8.jpg


Wow, pretty good. The theory was rewarded at least in this case. Not only it did not care about the oversoldness, but it even went right through the bus stop:

Snap9.jpg


Now this chart is a puzzling one to me. I can't make my mind up as to where the bus is going. But for sure we are not near any bus stops. Now it all depends on where I say it's going.

Snap10.jpg

Now, the theory I will use here is as follows. I will look for the latest action or what it's close to have done, to decipher its sick mind.

I think that in his sick mind this stock felt it had reached the lower bus stop (green horizontal line) and then it turned around and went up. I see it like a reversal of direction. So now it's been going up. I don't see the last drop (2 red candles) as a reversal because it was far from the next bus stop (horizontal red line), or at least it was farther from it than from the lower one. Maybe I am wrong and maybe i am not explaining logically what I am thinking and maybe I don't understand it either. But let's say that it will go up. You know what i mean, however: the uptrend is more clearly defined than a hypothetical down trend. If we were to look at this bus, we would more likely say that it's been going up and on its way the next (higher) bus stop.

I would say I was wrong about my prediction, even though I made money, because the bus first went up (but not all the way to the higher bus stop) and then it turned around and reached the lower bus stop:

Snap11.jpg

Then of course I am not saying buses will always follow these rules. This one might have been hijacked by a terrorist. But the rule could still be valid.

Finished all 10 trades:

+45%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-29,10

I am good at simplifying things, but I do realize there's a lot of stuff that I left out, because there's unidentifiable situations. However, this simplified analysis gives me peace of mind, as the fact that I don't have to decide WHEN to enter but just the direction. Besides, with this analysis, the unequivocal situation are far more than the ambivalent ones.

+87%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-30,10

Another very interesting thing I keep on noticing, as i mentioned, is how much I get fooled by the color of the candles. If you properly identify the bus stops and the bus' direction, you can (profitably) ignore the color of the last few candles. I would even go as far as saying that the candlesticks are a crappy and deceitful indicator that causes more losses than profit!!!

Take for example this chart i am seeing now. The last few huge red candles would discourage anyone from going long, but there no bus stops in sight and the direction so far is up. But you see those big red candles and you say "oh, this is coming down...". But my bet is that you're just deceiving yourself with this crappy indicator. **** candlesticks. I am going LONG.

Snap12.jpg


Yeah, I guess this time i was wrong (even though the fall did not happen within my 10 candles), but **** candlesticks anyway.

Snap13.jpg


-15%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-31,10
 
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10 candles with bus stops

Playing more and more... this is really quick and simple.

Same rules as post above:

1) start trade immediately
2) stay 10 candles but you get off at bus stop (or nearby if it turns around)

+39%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-32,10

Wow, this is a very unique situation:

Snap1.jpg


You see, my old self, the top and bottom picker, would have definitely gone LONG. Because this looks like you can't fail. You feel like it can't go any lower. But guess what: the previous bottom was 8 and now we're already at around 5, so we're going down and the only bus stop is behind us (above us). So the bus rules say we have to go SHORT even though my old top and bottom picking habits would make me go long (and blow out my account as usual).

Let's go short and let's see how it goes.

Snap2.jpg

A-ha!! Told you so! I made 33% by going in a counter-intuitive direction! I told you charts are deceitful, especially to my contrarian and anti-conformist eyes.

As someone said trading is "buy high and sell higher" (and viceversa for going short).

+35%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-33,10

I am basically curing my own top and bottom picking tendencies. This is forcing me to open my eyes to the fact that unless the bus stop is reached (in most cases) the bus just keeps on going where it's been going.

Discovery of my mental process:
I just found out what reasoning i follow when the last few candles are not clear as to which direction the bus is going. I switch to a larger timeframe and see what that is saying. This could even be coded.

3%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-34,10

Small profit this time but the patterns are becoming clearer and clearer:

1) overbought and oversold levels are crap
2) the single candles and their colors are crap

All that matters is where the bus stops are and where the bus has been going. That is the path of least resistance and how you make money. Of course, as I proved yesterday with the "begging trades with the mas" you can also make money by going against the trend if you see a reaction and it's extremely oversold, but those are rare "begging" situations, and yes you can make money if you focus on them, but it takes much longer, because you have to look harder and they are not frequent. The norm is the trend within support and resistance or rather the "bus itinerary and its stops".

This is great, this exercise. Because if you are forced to make trade as soon as you open up a chart and you want to be profitable after 10 weekly candles, you are forced to acknowledge and follow these rules. Or you will just keep on losing game after game.

In fact if you think about it that is precisely why "buy low and sell high" is deceitful advice. Because you will look for low prices which means price is going down, and this means price will keep on going down. So nothing is as bad advice as saying "buy low and sell high". And, as i just said above, "buy high and sell higher" is the best advice.

-58%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-36,10

-37%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-37,10

-67%
http://chartgame.com/trackrecord.cgi?ew6cuy-38,10

I am starting to think that I don't have a profitable method at all.

If we sum all the above games I am unprofitable.

I'll keep experimenting in the future. For now, as usual, I have no profitable method.
 
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Yeah, starting with the insults again. I've been working at it for months and you are calling my work stupid, with your usual offensive one-line posts...
 
Yeah, starting with the insults again. I've been working at it for months and you are calling my work stupid, with your usual offensive one-line posts...

look at my result 153%. Doesnt mean anything. I never called your work stupid. I think your systems are good. I just dont think this game will solve your discretionary issues. Your problem is you cant take criticism. Your other problem is you find something you think works and you think it will solve all your problems when you've spent a few hours looking at it. Try and hurt your system as much as you can if it still comes up smelling of roses then proceed. This 153% is a huge risk strategy and no way would i risk money like this. Noone out there is successful and risks money like this for a long enough period of time. This doesnt come anywhere close to a risk 2% of your equity per trade. It's foolish and for that reason im out.
 
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Hmm, I am afraid you didn't read my posts carefully. It's hard to take criticism from people who don't read my posts carefully.

I am glad you like my journal but it's hard for me to talk with you. I get offended easily and you offend easily.
 
Hmm, I am afraid you didn't read my posts carefully. It's hard to take criticism from people who don't read my posts carefully.

I am glad you like my journal but it's hard for me to talk with you. I get offended easily and you offend easily.


Ok you are gathering ideas but your percentage returns dont mean anything. All i did was buy when the trend was up and i saw a bullish white bar and sold when the trend was down and i saw a bearish red bar including pin bars.

Even with your discretionary trading you dont risk 2% of your account. You can win with any method as long as you risk the right amount. 500$ of 2k$ is 25% FYI.

I have a film for you.

 
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Yeah, I see your point and I think you also got my point about choosing your words carefully. If you call "stupid" the chart game, which I find very useful and that I've been praising for a year on this journal up to a few hours ago, I will feel that you're calling me "stupid" as well. And in a state of mind like that, I can't keep on discussing with you. Thanks for the suggested film.
 
tomorrow back to work

Tomorrow I will go back to work, all day long in the same room as this idiot who has to make friends with everyone and stares at me when he's not working, every 15 minutes. Why can't this guy just die?

I am not going to fight this any more. I'll treat him nicely and I'll wait patiently for the next time he says that he likes me or that I'm his brother (which he says to everyone probably), and then ask him to stop staring at me when he's bored.

In the meanwhile I'll put up with the idiot and try not to think about this animal. Unfortunately I found that it is not effective to get mad at him. He's just very rude. He offers to buy me sandwiches and at the same time he pisses me off by staring at me: the only explanation is stupidity and rudeness (in the sense that he doesn't know good manners). He wants to be liked by me but doesn't realize how tiring it is to work with a hyperactive idiot like him in the same room if you want to focus on your work rather than talk like he does most of the time.

The trick will be to get close to him, get called "brother" and then tell him, like a brother, "what the **** are you staring at?".

I cannot focus with someone turning around in his chair and staring at me every 15 minutes.

I think there will be some good news from the systems at least: probably the drawdown will end this week.

I guess I'll eventually have to get used to the fact that everything will not be exactly as I want it: people, trading, life. Then I'll finally stop complaining about everything that doesn't go my way, and I'll have a lot of free time.

I'll try to use the unplesant roommate as an incentive to work harder on my systems and trading, so I can quit my job sooner.

Anyway, final word on this: I'll try to make myself like him and tolerate him, and when we'll be closer, I'll tell him that he bothers me.
 
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new week

Ok, the week is starting well.

I slept 9 hours and without taking any pills.

I will go to work at least one hour early.

The dick will ask me "is everything all right?" and I'll say "yes", without getting into arguments about what a stupid question that is.

The dick will turn and look at me every 15 minutes and i'll stay relaxed and pretend he's admiring my beauty.

Other than this the dick does not bother me much.

The systems are already running and we're only 600 dollars away from ending the drawdown and taking the previous equity peak.

The newly automated 61st system seems to be running fine. I'll know more when I'll come back from work.

I even have enough margin for my usual trade on the CL today. After all that chart game I will be slightly more trained and sooner or later I'll be trained enough to avoid denial during losses.
 
damn... it's hard

There he goes again. I spoke on the phone and he turned to me and looked at me for like... 5 seconds. Damn, it's hard to put up with this dick. What's so strange about me talking on the phone? What could justify him turning and looking at me? Nothing: just the fact that he's bored and he's not working. Furthermore when he's here the door has to be open because he has to say hi to everyone walking by in the hallway, and on top of it, since he's been here on his internship for just a month, only half of the people reply to him at all. But he doesn't get discouraged and keeps on saying "hi" to everyone going by. This guy is a former student representative (he told me he got 2000 votes) so he has to make progress in life by social contacts rather than by hard work, so I am going to have to put up with the moron, because... merely because he's alive and I was so unlucky to have him as a roommate. Now he got up and went I don't know where. I surely hope he doesn't get hired: he does not deserve it. They better not ask me my opinion about it, because I don't lie.
 
Re: damn... it's hard

There he goes again. I spoke on the phone and he turned to me and looked at me for like... 5 seconds. Damn, it's hard to put up with this dick. What's so strange about me talking on the phone? What could justify him turning and looking at me? Nothing: just the fact that he's bored and he's not working. Furthermore when he's here the door has to be open because he has to say hi to everyone walking by in the hallway, and on top of it, since he's been here on his internship for just a month, only half of the people reply to him at all. But he doesn't get discouraged and keeps on saying "hi" to everyone going by. This guy is a former student representative (he told me he got 2000 votes) so he has to make progress in life by social contacts rather than by hard work, so I am going to have to put up with the moron, because... merely because he's alive and I was so unlucky to have him as a roommate. Now he got up and went I don't know where. I surely hope he doesn't get hired: he does not deserve it. They better not ask me my opinion about it, because I don't lie.


I'm sure you're not blowing this out of all proportion, it must be very annoying. I sense you ought to take control of the situation before it becomes a crisis. But couldn't you -
a) send him some stuff to keep him busy?
b) get someone else to send him some stuff to keep him busy?
c) get him promoted out of the way?
d) re-locate yourself?
 
Re: damn... it's hard

I'm sure you're not blowing this out of all proportion, it must be very annoying. I sense you ought to take control of the situation before it becomes a crisis. But couldn't you -
a) send him some stuff to keep him busy?
b) get someone else to send him some stuff to keep him busy?
c) get him promoted out of the way?
d) re-locate yourself?


e) keep leaving details of volunteer schemes overseas on his desk
f) let him have the 'Opportunites vacant' section of your industry / local newspaper: ring a few suggestions in red to help him out of his rut
g) write him a glowing reference, 'To whom it may concern'
h) secure for him a preliminary interview at another employer far, far away: make sure he understands how you had to pull strings to get this opportunity, just for him
i) sign both of you up for some very, very dangerous (but fun) sports - like night-time mountain climbing or underwater blindfold welding or short-range manned rocket testing for the Uzbekistan government or highly potent pharmaceuticals testing (which might also make some spare money)
j) enroll him in a not-very-well-known mind-expanding cult for 'just a weekend'
 
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