Best Thread Joke of the day

From a hairdresser shop window in the dark North.

Need to zoom in and read it all.
 

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Ready for the Presidential handover
 

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Upon hearing that the manager of her local IKEA outlet was retiring, a kind lady presented him with a "farewell" cake 🤣
 

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LAWS THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN AT SCHOOL

01. LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR

Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

02. ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

03. KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM

When u dial a wrong number, u never get an engaged tone.

04. CANNON'S KARMIC LAW

If u tell the boss u were late for work because u had a flat tyre, the next morning u will have a flat tyre.

05 O'BRIEN'S VARIATION LAW

If u change queues, the one u have left will start to move faster than the one u are in now.

06. BELL'S THEOREM

When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

07. RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS

The probability of meeting someone u know increases when u are with someone u don't want to be seen with.

08. WILLOUGHBY'S LAW

When u try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

09. ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. BREDA'S RULE

At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

11. OWEN'S LAW

As soon as u sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask u to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
 
A couple discussing their relationship.
Her: We'd have less arguments if you weren't so pedantic
Him: You mean fewer
 
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”


A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”


A hole was discovered in a fence that surrounded a nudist camp.
Authorities are looking into it.
 
I'm unsure who Fibo_Trader is or why (and how) he/she/it posts so much, but its entertaining to pop in every couple of weeks and catch-up on the monologue.

But this was a LoL post from Fibo yesterday:

"pizza delivery boys and gynecologists have same dilemma, they can smell it but can't eat it!"
 
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