Press Cuttings


Senior member
Apparently true press cuttings:

Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted
the audience with her reminiscence of the German
prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her
garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she
recalled "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but
when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in
February 1946, they spelt out "Heil Hitler".
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a
coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the
wind speed. He replied that he was sorry, but he
didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the
wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
(Aberdeen Evening Express)

Would the congregation please note that the bowl at
the back of the church labelled 'for the sick' is for
monetary donations only. (Churchtown Parish Magazine)

There must, for instance, be something very strange in
a man who, if left alone in a room with a tea cosy,
doesn't try it on. (Glasgow Evening News)

After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year
old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed
poll to Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Bastards. The
bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr
Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by
cheque, made out in his new name. (The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of
inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable
lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort
of thing is all too common". (The Times)

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey
about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas
said "We agree it was rather high for the time of
year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for
the gas used up during the explosion that blew his
house to pieces." (Northern Post)

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