Best Thread Joke of the day

[Pat494]

I rather liked it.
Regretably politician's cred has even dropped below that of toilet cleaners and lefty fairies.

 

[cantagril]

I rather liked it.
Regretably politician's cred has even dropped below that of toilet cleaners and lefty fairies.

I think you insult the toilet cleaners!...not sure about the others though

 

[Atilla]

I rather liked it.
Regretably politician's cred has even dropped below that of toilet cleaners and lefty fairies.

LOL Like the politicians majority of the nation and Brexiteers voted for!!!

Errrrmmmm democracy is you get what you vote for.

What does that say about Brexiteers then? Let's stop and think about this for a moment.


You are not alone either. You have a follower in Sir Cantagrill. Be quick and form a party.

 

[cantagril]

You are not alone either. You have a follower in Sir Cantagrill. Be quick and form a party.

Yes please!! I love a party! Where's the grog?

 

[Pat494]

and dancing girls ?????????????????

 

[cantagril]

and dancing girls ?????????????????

So, what do we name it?

 

[Nowler]

I've laughed so hard at this.
I shouldnt... but it's so hard not to

https://twitter.com/x/status/1235985656108781569

 

[Pat494]

Modern comedians take note and improve.....

 

[J Livermore]

If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you?

 

[Nowler]

It's a sad day...

 

[new_trader]

Is making bets on the number of new cases of COVID-19 called Spread Betting?

 

[counter_violent]

 

[Pat494]

The BBC decided to visit some ordinary folk in Croyden to find out how they are coping with the Govt's lockdown.
They interviewed Mr. Hopper and his girlfriend who when asked said
We did it 7 times yesterday and I feel drained.
His girlfriend said she enjoyed it but felt sore.

 

[J Livermore]

Jose’ robbed a bank and fled south across the Rio Grande, with the Texas Rangers in hot pursuit. They caught up with him in a small Mexican town. Since Jose’ knew no English and none of them spoke Spanish, they found a local resident willing to act as translator, and began their questioning.

Rangers: “Where did you hide the money?”

Translator: “The gringos want to know where you hid the money.”

Jose’: “Tell the gringos I will never tell them.”

Translator: “Jose’ says he will never tell you.”

The rangers all cock their pistols and point them at Jose’.

Rangers: “Tell him that if he does not tell us where he hid the money, we will shoot him.”

Translator: “The gringos say that if you do not tell them, they will shoot you.”

Jose’ begins to shake with fear.

Jose’: “Tell the gringos that I hid the money by the bridge over the river.”

Translator: “Jose’ says that he is not afraid to die.”

 

[Atilla]

 

[Nowler]

 

[Atilla]

A British, a Japanese and an Italian were captured and held in a cell by the CIA for a terrorist plot.

First the British was tied up and tortured for info, after 3 hours the British couldn't handle it and gave all the info CIA wanted. Next, CIA tortured the Japanese, but managed to hold all the torture for three days, but no more.

Next went the Italian. Days went by, turned into weeks and to months. After three months, the Italian was brought back to the cells. The other two were amazed to learn that he didn't give the any info.

"How did you bare all the torture?" Other two asked.

Italian replied: "I couldn't handle it after three minutes. But my hands were tied, so couldn't talk".

 

[Pat494]

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight ?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses ?

 

[Pat494]

Q. How do poets greet each other ?
A. Haven't we metaphor ?

 

[Nowler]

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight ?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses ?

Q. How do poets greet each other ?
A. Haven't we metaphor ?

We need to put Pat in a time-out....
Lol