hhiusa
Senior member
- Messages
- 2,687
- Likes
- 139
That makes no sense as spread betting is banned in the US and they are Americans.
Best Thread Joke of the day
- Thread starter Airthrey Capital
- Start date
- Watchers 251
That makes no sense as spread betting is banned in the US and they are Americans.
Atilla
Legendary member
- Messages
- 20,775
- Likes
- 3,976
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds wryly, "Why don't you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
Pat494
Legendary member
- Messages
- 14,614
- Likes
- 1,588
The Russian roulette one is a goody too
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/foyer/6856-joke-day-403.html
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/foyer/6856-joke-day-403.html
hhiusa
Senior member
- Messages
- 2,687
- Likes
- 139
The seven wonders of socialism
1. Everybody is employed.
2. Although everybody is employed, nobody works
3. Although nobody works, everybody fulfills the plan.
4. Although everybody fulfills the plan, there are no goods.
5. Although there are no goods, everybody has everything.
6. Although everybody has everything, everybody steals.
7. Although everybody steals, nothing is ever missing.
1. Everybody is employed.
2. Although everybody is employed, nobody works
3. Although nobody works, everybody fulfills the plan.
4. Although everybody fulfills the plan, there are no goods.
5. Although there are no goods, everybody has everything.
6. Although everybody has everything, everybody steals.
7. Although everybody steals, nothing is ever missing.
hhiusa
Senior member
- Messages
- 2,687
- Likes
- 139
An engineer, an accountant, a chemist and a civil servant are comparing their pet dogs. To see which is the most intelligent, each dog shows off its cleverest trick. The engineer’s dog draws a square and a circle on a sheet of paper. The accountant’s dog divides a heap of biscuits into three equal parts. And the chemist’s dog pours exactly a third of a carton of milk into a bowl. Then it’s the turn of the civil servant’s dog. The dog strolls over, pees over the drawing paper, eats the biscuits, drinks the milk, has sex with the three other dogs, claims a back injury and as a result, applies for compensation before going on sick leave.
Dick Lexic
Veteren member
- Messages
- 4,954
- Likes
- 124
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends,
"My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says,
"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'"
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,
SLIM
TALL
BLONDE
38DD BREASTS
24" WAIST and
36" HIPS.
When she walks into a room, people say,
"Jesus Christ”
The first Catholic man tells his friends,
"My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps,
"My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says,
"My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'"
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter,
SLIM
TALL
BLONDE
38DD BREASTS
24" WAIST and
36" HIPS.
When she walks into a room, people say,
"Jesus Christ”
Attachments
hhiusa
Senior member
- Messages
- 2,687
- Likes
- 139
Oscar Reed
Senior member
- Messages
- 2,485
- Likes
- 739
Australia got a new star batsman.
And he wasn't in the starting eleven.
His name is Extras.
And he wasn't in the starting eleven.
His name is Extras.
Dick Lexic
Veteren member
- Messages
- 4,954
- Likes
- 124
While in a bar the other night I overheard three large ladies having a conversation.
It was a strange accent so I went over and asked, “are you three ladies from Scotland?”
“It's Wales you idiot“ was the reply, so I apologized and said, “OK, are you three wales from Scotland?
That's all I remember about that night.
It was a strange accent so I went over and asked, “are you three ladies from Scotland?”
“It's Wales you idiot“ was the reply, so I apologized and said, “OK, are you three wales from Scotland?
That's all I remember about that night.
hhiusa
Senior member
- Messages
- 2,687
- Likes
- 139
A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He leaves the casino in a limo, calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife says, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Caribbean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."
