This is Quite Funny (unless you're a Michael Moore hating, square headed Yank)


Senior member
The following is an essay written by a High School sophomore in Freyburg,
Maine, as the essay part of the final exam in his English class. His teacher
posted it as an example of the uprightness of modern youth.

The Most Important Thing I Learned in School This Year

The most important lesson I learned this year in school is to pay attention
in class and not to doodle while the teacher is talking. The worst thing you
can do is draw a picture that shows President Bush's head on a pole with
blood gushing out of his bulging eyesballs. If you do something like this,
it means you're probably going to blow up the Oklahoma Book Depsitory, or
fly remote conrtrol planes into the White House, like the CIA did on 9/11.
Even if you're only 15 like me, you can hijack a bus (like Sandra Bullock
did in that cool movie, Speed), and drive it into the Bush ranch at Waco,
and burn all the children to death.
I learned that drawing pictures of the President with his arms growing out
of his head is no laughing matter. It's bad to make the President look
stupider than he already is. You can't draw him writing memos on wide-ruled
paper with a crayon, or dressed up like a cowboy and playing with toy
pistols in the Awful Office. That type of humor isn't funny. You can't make
him look like Alfred E. Newman from Mad Magazine, with blood gushing out of
his ears.
It is OK to draw a picture of Saddam Hussein on all fours, with Condolisa
Rice in a furry African bikini and rings around her neck, holding the
evildooer on a leash, and Donald Rumsfeld whacking him on the behind and
making him bark like a dog, because that's just a frat prank (like the sexy
girl soldier Lindy English did at that prison in IsraelI mean Iraq). But the
President is God, which is why his picture is on the dollar bill, and why
you can't make him look like an elephant like those soldiers did. You know.
Kneeling with his feet up in the air and one finger in his nose and the
other in his anus. That's really bad.
You can't draw the president's face on a stick, even if you make it look
like a lollypop or a Bubblehead doll. You are a bad person if you do that
and if you do that, the Secret Police will come to your house at midnight
and make you stand on a box with a shopping bag over your head and
electrodes attached to your generals. Then they'll bulldoze your house into
dust! (Which is way cool to see them do that on TV.)
If you make fun of the president that means you hate him and are a enemy
combatant. The president has so much to worry about, like his physical
fitness and if he takes his sedatives on time, he doesn't need some wise-ass
kid sneaking into the Lincoln bedroom at night and ****ing his wife (you
shouldn't say ****), or his really cute daughters, who drink a lot and fall
down at parties and are pretty easy. The president was bad too, like his
daughters, before he learned that Jesus wanted him to kill all the Arabs.
The president is truly blessed, so you can't tell your freinds you made a
videotape of him masturbating and sent it to Seymour Hersh. You can't do
that, because one of your friends may be an informer for Homeland Security
and then they'll chop your ****ing head off!
What I learned this year is that the President is not someone to mock. Even
if he is an idiot and a war criminal who deserves to be hanged, and even if
no one in the media has the balls to say so. (You shouldn't say balls
Billy Wilson


Experienced member

Interestingly enough, on radio 4 today, there was some boffin pointing out that if Bush was standing before Nuremberg, he would have to be hanged due to that law. Rightly so too.

Beach Runner

Active member
This made me laugh. I think it's talented and clever writing. Billy Wilson hopefully may attempt the Great American Novel someday. Interesting post, twalker.


Active member
I wonder if the plea of "OBEYING ORDERS" really will be given the same regard as at Nuremberg?
Somehow I think that it will not.
Whilst I can feel sympathy for the average American, who has not been well served by successive administrations,(IMHO), I have long believed that at government level the USA is the most corrupt nation on the face of the Earth.


Veteren member
I don't consider in the end analysis it to be funny, I see it as tragic that a boy of fifteen is a front line victim of the dumbing down process that has gripped the Engish Speaking world in the past decade.

In this essay this youngster is trying to rationalise for himself what he cannot and what is worse, is prevented from doing so as a result of miseducation, with particular regard to an inability to access the true facts, which in any democracy is a tragedy.

I view him as a casualty of muddled thinking, an feel very sorry for him.

This essay is symptomatic of the unease that people feel but cannot pin down as a consequence of being cynically delivered what is in effect a "fait accompli" without valid reasons given, justifiable, let alone acceptable.


"Incoherences in matter, and suppositions without proofs, put handsomely together, are apt to pass for strong reason."

I think this statement sums up the essay nicely



Senior member
In this 'essay' I would suggest there is every possibility that someone is simply taking the p''ss.If you really read it it appears to me to be a fairly intelligent man or woman trying hard to be funny by being intentionally stupid and only fails to convince because on some points such as the reference to the media it shows too much insight....and no I generally don't believe everything I read ;) but if you do then happy trading

Beach Runner

Active member
So he's not 15! So he's not Billy Wilson! But he is still a talented and clever writer. Damned fine investigatory work, Sherlock Walker!


Experienced member
A simple attempt to hoodwink, which says more about the author's disdain for the reader than it does about the American president. GW is obviously not going to go down in history as a great thinker, but I don't see such obvious hokum as being a condemnation of anything except the author. I feel vaugely insulted, to be honest :)


seems to be a fashion item these days to have a go at America and g.bush.are the so called leaders of all other country's above comment?,dont think for America being the most corrupt government on the face of the planet,what about Israel,Zimbabwe.?


Active member
No, other leaders are not above comment. Neither are they "so called". The two you mention were returned via the ballot box. They just take the politicians wish to cling to power a bit further than most :devilish: It's just that America is in the position to wreak the most havoc. Remember, great wealth brings with it great responsibility.
It goes back a long way. In 1956 UK and france were INSTRUCTED by the Eisenhower government to exit Egypt. Our money and expertise had made the canal possible but we were not allowed to protect our investment. Eisenhower went so far as to direct the Fed to bankrupt us if we didn't behave. This from a nation that throughout WW11 supplied Germany with raw materials (several good books have been written on the subject).
Which US companies were going to get the lions share of Iraqi reconstruction? If you look carefully they were all companys in which Bush and his merry men had lots of controlling interest. After an outcry we were allowed the crumbs from the table.
No, for my part I don't follow fashion but I have a long memory, family in the USA and read a lot.


Dunlop - You are spot on.

It's easy for those to be smug and knock the USA for anything it does but conveniently forget its good points - like the USA was the biggest supplier of humanitarian food and medical aid to Afghanistan WHEN THE TALIBAN WAS IN POWER.

Also, they don't have the courage to criticise the Zimbabwes and North Koreas of this world - but they would all, when the chips are down, choose to be under the US flag than the flag of the many basket case governments all over the world.

BEACH RUNNER - You are confusing something you agree with and 'talented and clever writing'. Any third rate English Language student in the 4th form will tell you how poorly written it was!


PS. I AM a Michael Moore hating UK square head.

MM portrays himself as the champion of the working class, but like all 'Champagne Socialists' from Arthur Scargill through Tony Benn to John Prescott, he jets around the world First Class ( in a private jet in Moores' case).

Never mind, MM will be getting his come uppance later this year when a documentary is released exposing the Peoples Champion for the hypocrite he is.


Active member
I for one would NOT wish to be under the US flag but there again neither would I wish to be under a basket case flag.
Quite happy with the flag I'm under. Although we have never been totally clean most of the" Roads to Hell" paved by us have been paved with good intentions. :cheesy:


axthree,your points are well made how ever there are gaps in some of your history,1956 soviet troops invaded Hungary,the free world could not condemn this invasion while British forces under mr Attlee occupied Egypt.
yes America supplied Germany during ww2 under the lend lease policy, usa also supplied uk under the same policy.
you state both government were returned via the ballot box,so was one Adolf Hitler,Saddam Hussein and several modern reformed mass murders now posing as peaceful politicians.
i dont follow fashion either,have a long memory ,uncles,aunts served in both worlds,distant relative murdered on 11/9/01 in the line of his work as a fire fighter.usa is not by any means a model country ,but neither is any one else.


Senior member
I do not think America should be on trial, after all less than 50% of the population voted for the Bush Administrations and indeed America does supply more aid to the rest of the 3rd World than any other country. It should be remembered that the US also financially exploits those countries too with a balance vastly in the US favour.
The fact that if anybody has a pop at the bush administration Americans now seem to perceive this as an attack on America is rather frightening, it demonstrates the success of the program to tie the Bu-****e agenda to patriotism.
The neocons are really just getting started and it is all laid out here
Just look at the signatories at the bottom of the statement of principals.

As for Michael Moore, I agree that he likes to make the money, who doesn't, actually he took a lot of the idea for his film "Fahrenheit 9/11" from Alex jones' "911 The Road to Tyranny". Difference is that Jones is far less interested in money than Moore and released his film for free on his website. Saying that I also have never heard MM deny that he does very well out of his work and even suggest that he doesn't fly around in a private Jet .

Beach Runner

Active member

I did not write, 'I agree with these sentiments'; I wrote, 'it made me laugh'. Perhaps, with hindsight, this reflects badly on me? But I still think this is talented and clever writing from someone 'writing' as a (perhaps not too bright?) 15 year old. I was admiring the author's technique. It is not as easily done as some may think.

I'm not anti-American. I love the country. I've lived there. But as others have written, questioning their present governmental policies does not automatically make one anti-American.

Right, that's my turn on the soap box ended for today...
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