When you can’t do what you know is right for you, then most probably you lack discipline. We often confuse it with psychological problems but as you said you were disciplined and were making profits unless you found leverage. This clearly shows that you left discipline behind as you start getting successful. I think you should move back to a small account, set some rules and try implementing them without deviating from your path.
Beg to differ Catchpole.
If you say someone lacks discipline then you need to subject them to some form of corrective conditioning behaviour. Usually against their wish. One can not say I need to discipline myself and then proceed to punish oneself for breaking one's rule.
If one does do that then you have a Jeckly and Hyde character on your hands. The problem is indeed a psychological one. The gentleman knows he is doing wrong and indeed he is right in his assessment of himself. BUT that other geezer does what he wants as well and their lies ones psychotic behaviour.