A job as a professional footballer with no experience

I know a lot of pro footballers who say you have to born with natural ability and work hard from a young age to be able to cut it at the top level... how does your course turn anyone who can pay into a footballing machine when others have had to work so hard to get where they are? Are they just stupid for going the more traditional and accepted route?
 
Hi Flash - I've never actually played football but I have seen it played a lot and think I'd be quite good at it. I can see the strengths and weaknesses in both teams and often have a good idea who might win the match. Are these skills enough to get me on the course? Thanks.
 
Look why are you all wanting to play? I heard of this scheme where they have a managed football account. You just pay a small subscription fee and then invest £20,000 each in the best players in the world to play football for you. You will make 900% a year and you won't have to kick a ball.

It's an Australian chap that organises it, somewhere on the Gold Coast I believe, though you send the money to a Mr Wong in Hong Kong via Western Union.

EDIT. By the way you have to sign a NDA and you're not allowed to know the names of your players.
 
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Lord Flasheart said:
Not us we are very selective but dont have limited spaces.
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Can you tell us your success rate ie how many are still playing and making money after 12 months?

Also did you ever have occasion to punch any of these employees when they asked to get paid (again)? If I leave the scheme can I remove PCs and office furniture if you don't pay me?

Ps would your canteen be interested in some Egyptian plates?
 
I know a couple of slappers who hang around on the corner of my local highstreet.......they are happy to be included in the course charging £5 a grope....

N
 
robster970 said:
Hi Flash - I've never actually played football but I have seen it played a lot and think I'd be quite good at it. I can see the strengths and weaknesses in both teams and often have a good idea who might win the match. Are these skills enough to get me on the course? Thanks.
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Id be happy to forward an application form and arrange for the entrance exam.Please return the form with the contribution towards training.Thanks you
 
pboyles said:
Can you tell us your success rate ie how many are still playing and making money after 12 months?

Also did you ever have occasion to punch any of these employees when they asked to get paid (again)? If I leave the scheme can I remove PCs and office furniture if you don't pay me?

Ps would your canteen be interested in some Egyptian plates?
Click to expand...

Everyone that has passed the training has been placed with a club
 
barjon said:
Wow, I've just stumbled across this thread and I must say it's daft to even think about paying some dodgy outfit all that money.

I just took my first kick ever at a football three months ago and it sailed into the net no problem. Since then I've had 142 kicks and scored 141 times (slipped running up on one). I tell you, this footballing lark is dead easy if you're wearing the right boots. Mine are custom made and you can have pair for only £200.

Might sound a bit expensive but they are guaranteed to score every time and I've proved it haven't I.
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Thought you like to see me in action - before that peebee fella pipes up, I'd borrowed Arashavin's shirt, so there :p

FC Arsenal 2 - 1 FC Barcelona. Arshavin Goal. - YouTube

Arsen Wenger said "That barjon's a marvel . He only came to us three weeks ago without having kicked a ball - just look at him now. It's the boots, the orginals were sumuggled out of Nazi Germany in a black box after the war and hidden by his grandfather until his grandson became of age. The whole team has got them now - with our sponsor's name painted on, of course. What a difference - the 2012/13 season is all ours."
 
I'm going to hold off for the time being. There's a 2 hour free seminar at the Travelodge in Luton on Saturday. Some guy says he's going to reveal the secrets. Greg somebody is his name, very nice teeth and I saw a photo of him in a helicopter and on a beach with his laptop so he must be successful.
 
barjon said:
Thought you like to see me in action - before that peebee fella pipes up, I'd borrowed Arashavin's shirt, so there :p

FC Arsenal 2 - 1 FC Barcelona. Arshavin Goal. - YouTube

Arsen Wenger said "That barjon's a marvel . He only came to us three weeks ago without having kicked a ball - just look at him now. It's the boots, the orginals were sumuggled out of Nazi Germany in a black box after the war and hidden by his grandfather until his grandson became of age. The whole team has got them now - with our sponsor's name painted on, of course. What a difference - the 2012/13 season is all ours."
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it would help if we could see the video link and dont feel scared to recommend our services
 
pboyles said:
I see a lot of footballers make loads of money so I've decided this is the career for me. I've no experience at all, I'm a bit fat but so is that Rooney fellow, I tried playing football once but I scored 3 own goals and got sent off. Anyhow I'm sure I can make it. What career advice do you have? Should I call up the HR department and ask what qualifications I need?

How's about an O level in PT? Would they take me seriously if I can pass it? It's not from a red brick educational establishment but still. What else do you suggest, I can't be arsed to google any of this, just tell me.

I might go to Manchester and knock on a few doors.
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That's good **** PB.
 
pboyles said:
I'm going to hold off for the time being. There's a 2 hour free seminar at the Travelodge in Luton on Saturday. Some guy says he's going to reveal the secrets. Greg somebody is his name, very nice teeth and I saw a photo of him in a helicopter and on a beach with his laptop so he must be successful.
Click to expand...

ok how about £3000 just for you as i really think you could make it,and you can bring the donny osmond chap with you
 
barjon said:
Wow, I've just stumbled across this thread and I must say it's daft to even think about paying some dodgy outfit all that money.

I just took my first kick ever at a football three months ago and it sailed into the net no problem. Since then I've had 142 kicks and scored 141 times (slipped running up on one). I tell you, this footballing lark is dead easy if you're wearing the right boots. Mine are custom made and you can have pair for only £200.

Might sound a bit expensive but they are guaranteed to score every time and I've proved it haven't I.
Click to expand...

I heard you only had 89 boots left. How did you end up with an odd number? Are you supplying these to paralympians as well?
 
pboyles said:
I heard you only had 89 boots left. How did you end up with an odd number? Are you supplying these to paralympians as well?
Click to expand...

I'd guess only Spanish ones. What if they are from Catalonia? Do they still count?
 
pboyles said:
How long will your special offer last for?
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Its literally a one of available to you as a someone I see has potential to provide us with a substantial return. Also one more successful applicant before the end of September will mean this months places for the Academy will have been filled up.
I have others looking banging my door down but i will keep the place open until 3pm tomorrow.
 
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