Yamato
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insomnia
**** it. It's not like I am supporting myself anyway. At worst they'll fire me and say "now are you going to support yourself?". Hey, I am not supporting myself even with the job I work. The rent costs twice as much as the job salary.
Third day in a row of insomnia and tomorrow I'll skip work.
When this happens it seems like the biggest problem for the whole world. Instead it's just a small problem I am having. Maybe I can't fall back asleep precisely because I take my sleeping so seriously. All you need is to wake me up at 2 AM, and then I am screwed because I won't fall back asleep.
Here's the deal. Now I'll have to come up with a marvelous new trading system, or else it won't be worth it to skip work and... but anyway even if I did nothing I'd be unable to go back to sleep. Maybe it's time to start taking xanax again.
How about this, let's go back to that quote by Joel Rensink:
http://cdn.forexfactory.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=265018&d=1245924370
I haven't done it. I've traded a bunch of systems, but not the ones I most strongly believe in. But let's define strongly by the top 20% of all systems I have, which right now would be 13. Which ones are they?
These three for sure:
GBL_ID
GBL_ID_2
GBL_ON
Then I like these energy futures:
CL_ID_3
CL_ID_4
CL_ON_2 (bigger drawdown)
CL_ON_3 (bigger drawdown)
NG_ID_2
Of all the ZNs, I'd like to trade these:
ZN_ID_3
ZN_ON_2
Stock indexes:
YM_ON
ES_ON_2
And with this last one, it's a total of 13:
GC_ON
Would I take a bullet for any other systems? Not right now. But there were systems i really liked that fell out favor once they lost money for several months. So I am like this, and maybe it's not a profitable attitude: if a system loses for a bit, I don't like it any more, and viceversa.
Maybe I am working too much and that is why I can't sleep. If I started relaxing once I come home, then I'd be able to sleep at night. But I keep on focusing on work on the systems and what I could do to increase profit, and therefore to create more or improve the existing ones. But if I lose my job, that is not going to help the systems. So maybe I should only work on the weekends. If I can do this, that is. I should but I wonder if I'll do it, or self-destruct instead. Yeah, there is such a thing as destroying your work with too much work and dedication. Especially in trading: destroying your profits with overtrading.
And that's what I am doing:
1) too much work at home on laptop means no relaxation
2) no relaxation means no sleep during the night - because if I am tense I can't fall back asleep as soon as anything wakes me up
3) no sleep means skipping work
4) skipping work means jeopardizing my job
5) no job means no salary
6) no salary means no means to pay for server, software, hardware, capital to trade, trading fees
Therefore, like for overtrading that blows out your account, over-working on my systems can jeopardize my systems. It would actually benefit my systems if I stopped working on them for a while, because that way i'll be able to sleep and therefore keep my job and therefore support the systems.
Working to me, since I was a child, is second-nature. My father taught me hard work. Now it's natural, and it's compulsive even. Whereas most people are lazy and wouldn't want to look up words in a dictionary, ever since i was a teen-ager I'd get up at night to look up a word I wasn't sure about. That's how I learned to speak English for example. I apply the same principle to everything else. Whatever would cause me laziness I fight with hard work, which becomes a compulsive second nature. How did this benefit me? No idea. Not in trading certainly, because it makes me overtrade. I lose, and so I trade more trying to make it back. At my job, it didn't get me any promotions. Yes, I work more than others. But sometimes others, because of their free time make friends and get promoted because of the friends they made while I was working my ass off. So I know more, I am more relied on, but someone else gets promoted. Also, I am too busy working to go and ask for a promotion, like many people do.
Now I could even get fired because of working too much, yeah because ultimately that is what it is. I never relax even at work, and this adds to the insomnia.
Basically when they hire someone they should always make sure to not hire someone who works too much because he'll give them problems like I am doing now by not going to work today. After all I am a misfit and a troublemaker.
I work a lot, but also: I can't stand half of the roommates. It doesn't matter why: if you complain about a roommate you're the problem. If you deal with the roommate it's fine. If the roommate complains about you, you're the problem again. On the other hand, this doesn't mean much because if you complain about a promotion, you're the problem and they solve it by promoting you. If you don't complain, you're not a problem, you get ignored, and one day you may go on a killing rampage and be the problem once again. So it would be best to bring up problems before they become bigger problems.
So for example it would be best if I relaxed more, instead of self-destructing with work, both at home and at the office. Working less might solve a lot of problems and make me more profitable in every field. Relaxing may in some cases bring more profit than stressing out and working as hard as you can.
Take vito for example: he got hired the easy way. He relaxes, he plays soccer with the boss, he sleeps, he comes to work on time, and he got hired. It doesn't matter if instead of working he just socializes. He got what he wanted. By playing soccer and kissing up to everyone and manipulating the whole bank, he will get promoted much more than me. All this is achieved not through hard work but through relaxing and being easygoing. And I could use some of that, too. I better do it before I totally self-destruct with work. With trading and over-trading that is a fact: 13 years of losses. With work it hasn't happened yet. But I may bring it soon because of working too much at home. If you add to this that now I have an unpleasant (sociable) roommate, this explains why I can't sleep that well, and I have skipped 3 days of work in a week due to insomnia. I need to quickly become an easygoing dumb**** like everyone else, before it's too late.
Please, travis, make an effort to relax. Before it's too late and screw everything up with self-destruction again.
**** it. It's not like I am supporting myself anyway. At worst they'll fire me and say "now are you going to support yourself?". Hey, I am not supporting myself even with the job I work. The rent costs twice as much as the job salary.
Third day in a row of insomnia and tomorrow I'll skip work.
When this happens it seems like the biggest problem for the whole world. Instead it's just a small problem I am having. Maybe I can't fall back asleep precisely because I take my sleeping so seriously. All you need is to wake me up at 2 AM, and then I am screwed because I won't fall back asleep.
Here's the deal. Now I'll have to come up with a marvelous new trading system, or else it won't be worth it to skip work and... but anyway even if I did nothing I'd be unable to go back to sleep. Maybe it's time to start taking xanax again.
How about this, let's go back to that quote by Joel Rensink:
http://cdn.forexfactory.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=265018&d=1245924370
I haven't done it. I've traded a bunch of systems, but not the ones I most strongly believe in. But let's define strongly by the top 20% of all systems I have, which right now would be 13. Which ones are they?
These three for sure:
GBL_ID
GBL_ID_2
GBL_ON
Then I like these energy futures:
CL_ID_3
CL_ID_4
CL_ON_2 (bigger drawdown)
CL_ON_3 (bigger drawdown)
NG_ID_2
Of all the ZNs, I'd like to trade these:
ZN_ID_3
ZN_ON_2
Stock indexes:
YM_ON
ES_ON_2
And with this last one, it's a total of 13:
GC_ON
Would I take a bullet for any other systems? Not right now. But there were systems i really liked that fell out favor once they lost money for several months. So I am like this, and maybe it's not a profitable attitude: if a system loses for a bit, I don't like it any more, and viceversa.
Maybe I am working too much and that is why I can't sleep. If I started relaxing once I come home, then I'd be able to sleep at night. But I keep on focusing on work on the systems and what I could do to increase profit, and therefore to create more or improve the existing ones. But if I lose my job, that is not going to help the systems. So maybe I should only work on the weekends. If I can do this, that is. I should but I wonder if I'll do it, or self-destruct instead. Yeah, there is such a thing as destroying your work with too much work and dedication. Especially in trading: destroying your profits with overtrading.
And that's what I am doing:
1) too much work at home on laptop means no relaxation
2) no relaxation means no sleep during the night - because if I am tense I can't fall back asleep as soon as anything wakes me up
3) no sleep means skipping work
4) skipping work means jeopardizing my job
5) no job means no salary
6) no salary means no means to pay for server, software, hardware, capital to trade, trading fees
Therefore, like for overtrading that blows out your account, over-working on my systems can jeopardize my systems. It would actually benefit my systems if I stopped working on them for a while, because that way i'll be able to sleep and therefore keep my job and therefore support the systems.
Working to me, since I was a child, is second-nature. My father taught me hard work. Now it's natural, and it's compulsive even. Whereas most people are lazy and wouldn't want to look up words in a dictionary, ever since i was a teen-ager I'd get up at night to look up a word I wasn't sure about. That's how I learned to speak English for example. I apply the same principle to everything else. Whatever would cause me laziness I fight with hard work, which becomes a compulsive second nature. How did this benefit me? No idea. Not in trading certainly, because it makes me overtrade. I lose, and so I trade more trying to make it back. At my job, it didn't get me any promotions. Yes, I work more than others. But sometimes others, because of their free time make friends and get promoted because of the friends they made while I was working my ass off. So I know more, I am more relied on, but someone else gets promoted. Also, I am too busy working to go and ask for a promotion, like many people do.
Now I could even get fired because of working too much, yeah because ultimately that is what it is. I never relax even at work, and this adds to the insomnia.
Basically when they hire someone they should always make sure to not hire someone who works too much because he'll give them problems like I am doing now by not going to work today. After all I am a misfit and a troublemaker.
I work a lot, but also: I can't stand half of the roommates. It doesn't matter why: if you complain about a roommate you're the problem. If you deal with the roommate it's fine. If the roommate complains about you, you're the problem again. On the other hand, this doesn't mean much because if you complain about a promotion, you're the problem and they solve it by promoting you. If you don't complain, you're not a problem, you get ignored, and one day you may go on a killing rampage and be the problem once again. So it would be best to bring up problems before they become bigger problems.
So for example it would be best if I relaxed more, instead of self-destructing with work, both at home and at the office. Working less might solve a lot of problems and make me more profitable in every field. Relaxing may in some cases bring more profit than stressing out and working as hard as you can.
Take vito for example: he got hired the easy way. He relaxes, he plays soccer with the boss, he sleeps, he comes to work on time, and he got hired. It doesn't matter if instead of working he just socializes. He got what he wanted. By playing soccer and kissing up to everyone and manipulating the whole bank, he will get promoted much more than me. All this is achieved not through hard work but through relaxing and being easygoing. And I could use some of that, too. I better do it before I totally self-destruct with work. With trading and over-trading that is a fact: 13 years of losses. With work it hasn't happened yet. But I may bring it soon because of working too much at home. If you add to this that now I have an unpleasant (sociable) roommate, this explains why I can't sleep that well, and I have skipped 3 days of work in a week due to insomnia. I need to quickly become an easygoing dumb**** like everyone else, before it's too late.
Please, travis, make an effort to relax. Before it's too late and screw everything up with self-destruction again.
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