Best Thread Joke of the day
- Thread starter Airthrey Capital
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That's a subtle one, maybe I have been out of the country too long and am losing the lingo
Ah, now I've got it! Dirty, dirty!
Split
That's a subtle one, maybe I have been out of the country too long and am losing the lingo
Ah, now I've got it! Dirty, dirty!
Split
Class! Got it at the third attempt....
LOL. fcuking had me rolled up you cnut!
I do honestly apologise for that remark to anyone genuinely suffering from Tourettes.
You can call me a c**t if you want. (Or have to).
Last edited:
A lot of people moan about speed cameras, but I'm all for them.
The other week I was flashed and got three points and a £60 fine.
Had I been stopped by a policeman, however, he would surely have noticed the three bald tyres, the out of date tax disc, lack of insurance, no MOT and my not wearing a seatbelt at the time.
I was also drunk as a skunk.
No doubt a massive saving in these financially worrying times.
The other week I was flashed and got three points and a £60 fine.
Had I been stopped by a policeman, however, he would surely have noticed the three bald tyres, the out of date tax disc, lack of insurance, no MOT and my not wearing a seatbelt at the time.
I was also drunk as a skunk.
No doubt a massive saving in these financially worrying times.
Atilla
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I had to google this one.
Very good.
Here is a brain stirrer back to you guys...
How do you get an elephant into Safeways Superstore?
Take the 'S' out of Safe and 'f' out of way!
HOW MOSES ENDED UP WITH THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
> >> God went to the Arabs and said,
> >> 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'
> >> The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
> >> And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
> >> 'Can you give us an example?'
> >> 'Thou shall not kill.'
> >>
> >> 'Not kill? We're not interested.'
> >> So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'
> >> The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
> >>
> >> 'Honor thy Father and Mother.'
> >>
> >> 'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
> >> We're not interested.'
> >>
> >> Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
> >> 'I have Commandments.'
> >>
> >> The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
> >> 'Thou shall not steal.'
> >>
> >> 'Not steal? We're not interested.'
> >>
> >> Then He went to the French and said,
> >> 'I have Commandments.'
> >>
> >> The French too wanted an example and the Lord said,
> >> 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
> >>
> >> 'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'
> >>
> >> Finally, He went to the Jews ( Scots ) and said,'I have Commandments.'
> >>
> >> 'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
> >>
> >> 'They're free.'
> >>
> >> 'We'll take 10.'
> >>
> >> There, that should offend just about everybody.
> >>
> >> God went to the Arabs and said,
> >> 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'
> >> The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'
> >> And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'
> >> 'Can you give us an example?'
> >> 'Thou shall not kill.'
> >>
> >> 'Not kill? We're not interested.'
> >> So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'
> >> The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,
> >>
> >> 'Honor thy Father and Mother.'
> >>
> >> 'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.
> >> We're not interested.'
> >>
> >> Then He went to the Mexicans and said,
> >> 'I have Commandments.'
> >>
> >> The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said
> >> 'Thou shall not steal.'
> >>
> >> 'Not steal? We're not interested.'
> >>
> >> Then He went to the French and said,
> >> 'I have Commandments.'
> >>
> >> The French too wanted an example and the Lord said,
> >> 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'
> >>
> >> 'Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'
> >>
> >> Finally, He went to the Jews ( Scots ) and said,'I have Commandments.'
> >>
> >> 'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'
> >>
> >> 'They're free.'
> >>
> >> 'We'll take 10.'
> >>
> >> There, that should offend just about everybody.
> >>
Pat494
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OY - I am off to Brussels mate
that's discrimination
you didn't offend the Baptists too ???
