Pat494
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Trooooooooooly staggering imho
Why go all the way to Iraq when you can get yourself shot in Washington !
Not sure which year that was but..................%^&$£
Best Thread Joke of the day
- Thread starter Airthrey Capital
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Trooooooooooly staggering imho
Why go all the way to Iraq when you can get yourself shot in Washington !
Not sure which year that was but..................%^&$£
TheBramble
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All humour aside and forgetting for a moment the slight differences between Washington which is not a theatre of war or subject to a policing action or however the current official presence is described and also discounting the difference in land area and intent of the respective populations; I wonder what the murder rate in Iraq was prior to the invasion.
Pat494
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Well - discounting Saddam Hussein - probably rather low.
But with the impetus of democracy US style, it seems to have risen a lot.
TheBramble
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Annan decks Assad
KOFI Annan has floored Syria’s President Bashar al-Assad with a single blow.
The UN envoy became increasingly agitated during yesterday’s meeting with the Syrian leader, grimacing and tugging his sleeves as the dictator repeatedly denied responsibility for his army’s actions, blaming civilian deaths on terrorists, faulty bombs or possibly mass spontaneous combustion.
After listening to nearly two hours of the Syrian leader’s flimsy self-justification, Annan muttered darkly and stood, removing his jacket and calming handing it to an aide. He then punched Assad square in the face, sending him over the back of a chair.
Annan said: “Diplomacy, not violence, is the answer and I deeply regret my actions. However I must admit it felt good. Really good.
{courtesy of the dailymash}
KOFI Annan has floored Syria’s President Bashar al-Assad with a single blow.
The UN envoy became increasingly agitated during yesterday’s meeting with the Syrian leader, grimacing and tugging his sleeves as the dictator repeatedly denied responsibility for his army’s actions, blaming civilian deaths on terrorists, faulty bombs or possibly mass spontaneous combustion.
After listening to nearly two hours of the Syrian leader’s flimsy self-justification, Annan muttered darkly and stood, removing his jacket and calming handing it to an aide. He then punched Assad square in the face, sending him over the back of a chair.
Annan said: “Diplomacy, not violence, is the answer and I deeply regret my actions. However I must admit it felt good. Really good.
{courtesy of the dailymash}
TheBramble
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TheBramble
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Sesame Street composer Christopher Cerf learns how his music has been used to torture detainees at Guantanamo Bay.
The funny part is that this is completely true.
The funny part is that this is completely true.
Yes, and if that doesn't work they bring out the Clannad and Barry Manilow. Anyone who doesn't crack after that onslaught will get Shirley Bassey-ed for a week.
TheBramble
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Why are there no triangles in Bermuda?
Pat494
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Careful !!!!!!!!!
You might give politicians ideas.
Think of an entire week listening to Dipstick, Eddy or Cloggy
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
Pat494
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On second thoughts they could use the technique in our jails.
Answer a question correctly to get the tune of their choice. A mild form of mental re-adjustment ( brainwashing).
TheBramble
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Pat494
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Test Your Mental Age
The following assessment was developed by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University ...
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat..
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
The average person over 45 years of age cannot do it! How many did you get right?
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.
Let's hope Splitt doesn't see this
The following assessment was developed by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University ...
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat..
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
The average person over 45 years of age cannot do it! How many did you get right?
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.
Let's hope Splitt doesn't see this
TheBramble
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Alaska has the highest incidence of rape out of all the US states.
Not unexpected really when you consider these guys spend most of the time handling their fur skins.
Not unexpected really when you consider these guys spend most of the time handling their fur skins.
TheBramble
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Yulia Tymoshenko has been banged up. I really can't blame them.
Daughter's alright too.
Daughter's alright too.
TheBramble
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Pat494
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She ought to plead blond, beautiful and brainless and thought she was in the insane asylum.
TheBramble
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Heard this from Richard Branson today...absolute truth
I bought a dog from the ironmongers today.
When I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.
He's a quaint old bugger in many ways and far too 60s hippy for his position, but there but for the grace of god….at least he’s not that erroneously self-assured little pr!ck Alan Sugar (Lord Fark All of Acton or some sh!t like that….) what a onanious little git he is.
I bought a dog from the ironmongers today.
When I got it home, it made a bolt for the door.
He's a quaint old bugger in many ways and far too 60s hippy for his position, but there but for the grace of god….at least he’s not that erroneously self-assured little pr!ck Alan Sugar (Lord Fark All of Acton or some sh!t like that….) what a onanious little git he is.
Pat494
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Back in the dim distant past there was a huge beast called Europe that roamed the planet. One day feeling like a nap he lay down in a meadow. Well an insect just happened to land on his arm ( Italy ). He slapped at it with his other hand.
SmaaaaaaCK
And went back to slep. Another insect landed on his belly ( now called France ) ! Whamo he sqidged it with a mighty blow. Well the next time an insect landed on his wedding tackle ( Germany ) he smacked it really hard.
Oi says his brain ( Spain ) I am in charge so stop smacking me you Italian arm or there will be trouble !
Well as usual his ars**hole ( Greece ) is left out and feels aggrieved. What about me ? So to prove his point he refuses to cra*p anymore. After 3 days of pain the brain gives in.
So that kiddoes is how Greece took over Europe, invented democracy and made the present crisis !!
SmaaaaaaCK
And went back to slep. Another insect landed on his belly ( now called France ) ! Whamo he sqidged it with a mighty blow. Well the next time an insect landed on his wedding tackle ( Germany ) he smacked it really hard.
Oi says his brain ( Spain ) I am in charge so stop smacking me you Italian arm or there will be trouble !
Well as usual his ars**hole ( Greece ) is left out and feels aggrieved. What about me ? So to prove his point he refuses to cra*p anymore. After 3 days of pain the brain gives in.
So that kiddoes is how Greece took over Europe, invented democracy and made the present crisis !!
Dick Lexic
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While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the man's, he said, I know how you feel. My Mom makes me ride in the stroller too..'
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