Had my first married argument with Mrs Key Boi

C

Car Key Boi

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it was over the housekeeper Maria

first of all, she threw out nearly $6k worth's of my clothes. Two Zegna Suits and various other kick-ass going out clothes

YES MARIA, I KNOW THEY WERE IN A TRASH BAG, BUT NO MARIA, IT WASN'T GARBAJO, COM-PRENDRE SENORITA???

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SENT TO ACHNAD THE DRY CLEANER!

but worse was to follow, Maria has been cooking pasta using olive oil

YUO NEVER EVER, ADD OIL (OLIVE OR OTHERWISE) TO BOILING PASTA WATER

SALT ONLY! FOR FLAVOR! NO OIL!!!

DO ITALIANS ADD OIL TO THE H2O WHEN COOKING PASTA?

I DON'T CARE WHAT ALTON BROWN SAYS

IS ALTON BROWN ITALIAN?

I DON'T THINK SO

IS ALTON BROWN A CHEF?

NOPE

FACT! ITALIANS DON'T ADD OIL TO BOILING PASTA WATER.

OIL IN HAIR, YES. OIL IN FERRARI, YES. OIL IN PASTA WATER, NEVER!

100%

O WNED!

MRS KEY BOI GAVE ME AN ARGUMENT ON THIS PASTA OIL ISSUE, AND MARIA SIDED WITH MRS KEY BOI

she has to go...... (Maria that is)

i will see to it that her ass is deported by the end of the week

- CAR KEY BOI,
BEEN TO ITALY 9 TIMES / KNOWS HIS SH!T! / D N T!
 
Can`t ave bin married long, he still thinks you can win an argument with `er indoors :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

just remember John bobbet thought that as well :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Dunno whether it is safe to comment on this thread, but what the heck, will do anyway....

I have seen my Italian friends add oil to their cooking pasta to stop it from sticking (they say)....and it often stops the water boiling over. ;) Don't know if this works in practise, having never tried it and secretly thinking the oil would always float on top of the water! :cheesy:

Gee, some people don't know how lucky they are to have someone else cook for them ;)
 
I was chatting to a good ol' Norfolk boi not long after I got married. He leaned over to me & said
"Bob, 'ow long 'ave yer been married now?"
"6 months" I replied
He leaned back with a grin on his face and said
"Ar. Yer'll be allowed to f*rt in bed now then"

;-)

Ubend
 
ckb,

u're young m80.....you NEVER win arguments with them.... and by NEVER, I actually mean NEVER!!!!! u hear?

Now, can ya (or anybody else) pls tell me what "O WNED" and "D N T" are supposed to mean ?

cheers ....

pinto (married 10 yrs as of this weekend gone).... :rolleyes: :eek: :cry: ;)
 
"pinto (married 10 yrs as of this weekend gone)...."

Apprentice - I've 32 years to the same one on the clock:)

Why is my beard white?
 
"Apprentice - I've 32 years to the same one on the clock:)"

You are still practising then.....:)

this year will see the anniversary of 34 years of wedding............








































hell!:)
 
It's all about sharing and caring in the long run, CKB?

This is what it comes to:

A little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds one cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.

Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked right up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.

The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As the man began to eat his few bites of hamburger the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what they were thinking. "That poor old couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his french fries one young man stood and came over to the old couples' table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple to eat.

The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything.

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She just sat there; watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them something to eat.

This time the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing everything together. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin the young man could stand it no longer.

Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some food.

After being politely refused again he finally asked a question of the little old lady.

"Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.

What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered...

[This is great]

Scroll down for the answer...


















"The teeth". :LOL:
 
dsmodi,
OWNED! = to be subject of one who is DIGTBK!
digtbk.gif


DIGTBK! = Damn It's Good To Be King!

D N T = Do Never Test

and yuo're right buddy, in the end, i was 100% OWNED by Mrs Key Boi. She cracked the whip and Maria was reinstated (but i insisted that Maria underwent an intensive retraining course on how to cook pasta the Italian way

Mayfly,
yuo are correct sir, we are newly weds. Also, i'm an American Tard and unlike most Brits, i have GREAT TEETH :D D N T

Bluewave,
yuor Italian friends know jack. Are yuo sure they are native Italians? This myth of adding olive oil to the pasta water was a scam dreamed up a long long time ago by some olive oil manufacturer in order to boost sales. But any self-respecting Italian will confirm what i'm telling yuo, that yuo NEVER, NEVER, NEVER add oil to the water (unless yuo intend to freeze the pasta overnite)

yes the use of oil does prevent the pasta from sticking in the pot. BUT the reason why proper ITALIAN CHEFS don't add oil to the pasta H20, is because da pasta is supposed to be sticky. The objective is to get the SAUCE to STICK to the PASTA. Pasta cooked by ITALIAN CHEFS tastes da bomb, whereas pasta cooked by FOOLZ who add oil to the pasta H20, tastes like dangling ass hairs that have been coated in big block Chevy engine lube. To prevent the pasta from sticking WHILST BEING COOKED, yuo use a GIANT POT and simply stir it at REGULAR INTERVALS. Also, REAL ITALIAN CHEFS cook pasta "AL DENTE" which means "at the tooth" or "on the tooth" or something to that effect. "Al dente" means that the pasta is supposed to have a slight crunchy feel on the inside when yuo bite into it with yuor incisor tooth. Basically, yuo slightly undercook the pasta. If the pasta is soft all the way through, then yuo've overcooked it. If yuo say to any self-respecting Italian who knows their sh!t about pasta (yuor friends don't) that yuo know how to cook pasta "AL DENTE" (yuo can mention that the Car Key Boi taught yuo) they will respect yuo. If yuo tell them that yuo use oil when cooking pasta, they will think that yuo're a moran

so to summarize. For perfect pasta cooked the ITALIAN way "AL DENTE" style, it's NO OIL, SALT ONLY (FOR FLAVOR), STIR OFTEN, TEST FOR SLIGHT CRUNCHY TEXTURE ON THE INSIDE

that is all

- CAR KEY BOI,
MADD OPIE WITH MADD LOOT / INSANE MOVES ON DA BASKETBALL COURT / DUNKED HARD ON A 6' 9" BLACK DUDE YESTERDAY / DIGTBK!
 
So, the olive oil is some sort of stop loss?
I tried cooking 'Al Dentine' and the gum ran, by the way.
Dave
(Married three wonderful years - 1977, 1991, 1998)
 
That maybe true, CKB? But, at least we can see our feet! :)

Cheers

Mayfly

PS: Any self respecting Anglo knows to defer to the Italians in the matter of food. You should count your blessings? ;)
 
I'd like to comment on this thread but before I do I shall seek permission from my wife...... :)
 
Just for the record :

Been married for 11 years and now right in the middle of a mega agument about whether or not we should buy a 42" Plasma television. (I want one, she doesn't). This could end in the divorce court !!
 
CKB - take it from some1 whoz bn married 5 times (i am not counting g/f's) by the age of 35 - just accept all that as a form of free entertainment :)

and - Por Dios :) - take it easy with Maria.... i bet u'd be cocking up much worse if u were placed in a Latin country :) Even tho I am half-Latin meself and Castellano is one of my mother tongues - I sometimes sound like a complete and utter plonker here in Brasil - since Portugues is very similar but yet very different from Castellano. Just imagine what u r gonna be like placed in Argentina e.g. and hvng to speak Castellano :)
 
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