Chris,
the fact is that the first language you decide to learn seems impossible, the second darn hard, and so on - I'm now on Tshirt 5 at least ('Been there, seen it, done it, got the....<g>) I've learned to program in a good few languages over the past 30 years, some of which I have been very glad to see the back of.
Mammoth is correct, as previously described, for a task. This is a biggie - learning to program isn't going to happen quickly. From choice I'd pick VB, as it is a little more like normal logic when using it - 'for a=1 to 20 step 2' isn't that intuitive, but it beats "a=1:20:a++" or similar for readability. SDK's to allow programmers to make use of a platform are sometimes darn good, and often include sample code - whilst better than the stupid stuff in most books, which convert US gallons to Litres for the most part (sometimes the examples aren't quite that useful, mind) the example code generally fails to cover the ground you want. Trying to program in a routine to draw candlestick bars on a rescaleable display when your example code makes a smiley pop up at random across the screen whilst making a 'beep' noise can be a tad frustrating.
Be prepared to spend years on this.
(Good news, it's an absorbing hobby). There is a reasonable amount online for any language, after VB I'd pick VC++ or VC# (you'll find java etc similar, C# would be a better apprenticeship than java I'd suggest) .. lots of good books for this - sybex produced one for Vis Basic 6 for $20 (UK price therefore, obviously, £21.99) that was the main section of 4 individual books glued together to make a 1000 page one off for example .... Microsoft do good books, but tend to spread the important info across half a dozewn volumes at £50 a pop. Anything calling itself 'VC# in 24 hrs' or similar should be avoided with the assistance of a large bargepole - they tend to zero in on teaching you to do three specific, useless thngs and you're no better off but £20 poorer for buying them.
Microsoft's languages come with some CD's, the MSDN (M'soft developer network) which is actually a very large help file containing lots of docs and info - it takes a while to find your way round it, it can be frustrating to navigate. Still, you've got years, right? <g>
You can also, quite often, get online help from BBS's set up to support the development - I work on esignal stuff in javascript as well as VB for example, and there's a developer BBS I can go ask for help on.
Dave