lol, omg, and today's incident
How should I put this... today everything went unexpectedly wrong. It was supposed to be the beginning of peace (see previous posts), and instead it was total war.
I woke up at 5 am due to some noise, some mother ****ing neighbour, as usual.
Then I was at work at 7.40 am, and felt pretty proud about that.
I started doing my work. Kept working for one hour.
Then boss writes me an email saying... no wait: as soon as I get to work, I read an email from yesterday, sent by boss, saying "the inspectors have this data (you gave us), they should have this other data, something's wrong, so what is the matter?", as if it were my fault.
I notice the tone is not one I like, since he's making it sound as if I did something wrong. So I don't reply polemically but write "I don't understand the question, maybe we should talk about this in person".
Then the boss comes at about 8.40.
First we talk about something else, and I say "thanks" for something he's done right, and everything goes fine.
Then he brings up the subject of his email, and, once again, his tone is as if I did something wrong, just like in his email. Premise: I am always very precise and I spent 4 years breaking my back to make every little detail work in my statistics, which I created by the way. Before this they were writing everything down on paper, pretty much, or on excel, but using it as a piece of paper, with squares on it. That's what excel is to many of my colleagues. They ignore the use of functions.
So, where was I? He brings up the problem, and says "we asked for this and you gave us that" (something else). Then I reply "look, if there's something you need, let me know, and I'll give it to you, but if you are accusing me of something, show my email, and we'll see if I did make a mistake, because usually I don't, since I take great care to define details". I knew it was most likely his mistake.
So he goes back to his office, and he sends me my email (because I had deleted it - I don't have to save every goddamn request for data from him). He comes back. I look at it, putting on hold all the other work I was doing, and I find that I was right, and that I had explained to him exactly what data I was giving him and how I was interpreting his request.
Then he says the sentence he should not have said. After one email where it sounds like I made a mistake, after coming to my office and talking as i made a mistake, he says: "in the future let's try to talk the same language".
I immediately perceive the injustice and blood rushes to my head. I become pale and my heart starts beating faster. Now, this has happened twice in the years 1997 to 2011. Since this dick came to be our boss, this has happened like... over 10 times already. So there definitely is a problem not with me but with my dick of a boss.
So I get really upset but don't reply meanly. I just say this: "Sorry, I really cannot take the blame for something I did not do". And then he leaves.
I start preparing the new data he wants, and as I write the text for his email, something like "here's the data requested, which corresponds, for this and this period, to the reports "
entered in the system", which is different from the "
(complete) reports received" and it's different from the reports "
processed" in the same period". And then I add this parenthesis: "(it's not my fault if along the years you and others have asked me to add over 100 columns to my statistics and I have to differentiate between different types of information, and if you don't read what I write)". Yeah, because he had blamed me for not having been clear and for not having given him the information he wanted, whereas instead he's the one not perceiving the difference between one request and the other.
Then I stop writing the email, and go about extracting the new data he wants, and as I do that, I get even more mad, because I am once again making efforts to patch up his mistake, and this time I even have to be blamed for his mistake, and so I start ranting out loud, while my other colleague is in the room, so in a way I was telling him and hoping he'd agree. I say stuff like: "I hate working with idiots...", "wtf, I write everything perfectly and detailed, I work my ass off for 4 years to make everything neat and perfect and then I have to get blamed because he doesn't even read my emails...". Then finally, livid and shaking with anger, I say "**** it, I am going home". I pick up my suit jacket and storm out of my room.
I wander in the streets around the bank because I am too mad to get into a cab, with my face all red. Everyone looking at me gets kind of worried, indeed. Then I grab a sandwich and a prosecco. Iced tea, too. And I am still wondering in the city of Rome for about half an hour. Then I get into a cab and come home. But then i am still too mad, so I still wonder around my neighbourhood for another half hour, smoke a cigarette, then finally 3 hours after getting out, at 7.30, I come back home, at 10.30.
And here I am.
What are the risks now?
I could get a negative note on my bank's curriculum. It would be the first one. I've done this type of thing once before, but not with my boss. This thing is worse, but it could be explained on grounds of sickness, such as I didn't feel well and i came home. It all depends if the boss wants me to get in trouble or not.
What has this shown about the situation? That if you're someone who's worked his ass off on something, and then for six months you have a daily meeting of one hour where they tell you what part of your work you have to destroy today, and then on top of it your boss, as a result of his mess and stupidity, blames you for his mistakes, then, i, too, can fall apart and lose my temper. I am very calm usually, everyone knows it. But the peaceful guy, when he gets mad, he gets dangerous, as everyone knows.
On the other hand, I am there to obey orders and I acknowledge that. I just ask not to be blamed for doing things in a messy way, of which I am certainly not guilty. As I said to the boss a week ago: "if you think there's something wrong, it's most likely not because I made a mistake, but because you're not understanding something". This is very insulting, but deserved by someone who is totally stupid, clumsy, messy, disorderly, disorganized and blames me for his mistakes.
Now we'll see how it evolves on Monday. Monday I will go, most likely. There's a whole weekend to rest.
The question is if the boss will become nicer to me, or if he'll want me to be penalized for leaving work today and try to get me punished, fired, transferred to another office. He was waiting for some data, and instead I just took off and went home, lol. Goddamn idiot.
However, in the long run, he either leaves this office, or I unload my statistical work on someone who can handle idiots better. I am incapable of being accused unfairly of making mistakes that I did not make. I will get mad each time this will happen. Especially in cases, like today, where the incompetence of the person accusing me is beyond doubt.
Dude... I didn't mean to disrespect him. It's just that he keeps pushing me and makes me lose my temper time and time again, like never before. I've lost my temper more times with this guy more than in my entire life before meeting him.
The last sentence I said to my roommate before storming out of my room was "you break your back for four years and then you get treated like this...". And he said something trying to calm me down such as "he didn't meant to...", and partly he's right, but the situation is intolerable, if you add it to six months of destroying my own work. They have crapped all over my work, and have disrespected my efforts of four years. This was the last straw. That's what it was. You crap on my work, you imply I make mistakes... and you're blatantly incompetent on everything you're talking about... it's just too much for me to take. My father unfortunately, one way or another, taught me to be sincere and to be proud of myself. I am not taking this **** from anyone unless I am tied up and gagged.
Dude... I just lost it. It was not planned. I went there at 7.40, was working non-stop, then I have to take one more incident of this type of crap from this idiot... it was not planned. I lost control. I can't go back today, because I am too pissed off and i'd just lose control again. He has to learn to respect people who work hard. He can't assume that I make mistakes at the rate he does. If there's something wrong, don't assume it is my mistake.
There are people on this earth who are not as clumsy as you are. Learn that. Learn to respect people, because we're not all morons like you. You don't deserve to be a boss.
[...]
And now I am going to need to drink a whole bottle of lambrusco.
[...]
All right! Good news. My favorite colleague called me from work, and said they're worried and want to know how I am doing. I said I apologize for my insubordination, but, after working my ass off for 4 years with meticulous precision, I cannot take being accused unfairly of anything. So, apologies, but don't do it again. And I said to tell him also that he can count it as a day of vacation that I took, or day of sickness if he prefers. So basically, I pulled it off one more time with my insubordinate behaviours, precisely because it wasn't deliberate nor planned, and more importantly because I am right and just, and I use these behaviours to make my points, when I really cannot take it anymore. When they wrong me, I just take off and come home. Besides, maybe they also think I am little crazy, which never hurts.
But dude, the point is that it was sincere and not planned, so it is not even insubordination, because why would i go there at 7.30 am in the first place if I was planning to be so lazy as to come home early and skip the rest of the day? This is clearly a sign of good faith.
Do I regret something? Yes. I regret not having the intelligent boss we had before this one. Stupidity enrages me, and I realize this is not even fair. But I can't help it when you're causing so much damage around yourself, and accusing me, out of stupidity, yes. Yes, because he's so stupid that he may not even realize that he is wrong. If you're smart, you realize what is right and wrong, and you talk accordingly. If you're stupid the distinctions are vague and unclear, so you may end up thinking that the right is somewhere in between and accuse your employees of doing something they did not do, like when he told my colleagues "why didn't you tell me that you didn't want the printer?", whereas it was all due to his disorganization: you don't ask for a huge printer without first finding out where it will go, and if the people are ok with it. This moron asked for a huge printer without having any plans as to where it would go. Goddamn idiot. I feel sorry for him, and yet I can't help getting enraged. I need an interpreter, so I don't have to hear things such as "you guys should have told me that you didn't want the printer" to my colleagues who weren't asked in the first place and "let's make sure we speak the same language" to me when you're not even reading my emails, because otherwise you would ask me to explain them to you if there's something you don't understand. I mean, dude, I created the statistics four years ago, you came 5 months ago, so the foreigner is you, and statistics are my mother tongue. So you're the one who has to learn my language, and the first step is to read my email where I write in detail what kind of statistics I am sending you.
Now that things ended pretty well (at least at the moment), I can see things more objectively and view this situation as funny. It reminds when you see stuff like a lady going to car mechanic and accusing him of doing something wrong. Of course she'll never fail to get him mad if he's in good faith. He'll kick her out yelling at her some insults.
Here, I found one video, where this concept is rendered clearly. The boss is driving the car, and I am the mechanic. Except maybe we have to pretend that the car is the statistics that I have worked on for four years, and that the lady gets out of the car and accuses the mechanic of causing the accident.
[...]
Holy cow... I thought I had recoverd but I am still raging. I don't think I am ever going to recover from this anger. Maybe it will be gone tomorrow.
Actually, I called my uncle, the former banker, and he said I did the right thing and it cannot be considered insubordination, but I could even say that I'll sue him if he keeps busting my balls with this frequency. In fact, I told him that i'd never see it this way and that they've been quite nice to me so far. However, that is precisely the power of my actions and behaviour and why I am not getting in trouble for it. I am right, I work hard, and I bother no one, and if they come looking for trouble, then they know it's their fault, because all I've been doing all these years is work seriously and quietly. And if there's trouble, yes, sure I am touchy, but I am basically right. If there's trouble and I get mad, they know there must be some good reason. I am not going to abuse this advantage of being right, but if they push me like this, it's beyond my control and I lose my temper. I mean... I am only sorry that this is all due to stupidity and not bad faith, as my boss is only stupid and nothing else. I am not mad and I feel sorry for him, but he's so inadequate that he's going to cause a lot more trouble than what I've seen so far. Sure, I, too, may get fired for being too honest and sincere, and I am prepared for that, but he's definitely an idiot and it's showing every day.
The only way I can keep things like today from happening in the future is if I constantly remind myself that he's a stupid child. Not that all children are stupid. He's a child and a stupid one. An intelligent child would be doing a much better job than he's doing.
[...]
Well, I'll tell you what. All things considered, once this becomes history and the boss will be gone, that was "fun". Anything that doesn't give me a heart attack is fun. Maybe I was bored and looking for a good cause to fight a battle for. Obviously if I had been having a great time in my life, today I would not have gotten mad. However, if I were having a great time in my life, the boss would not have such neat statistics and I would have been your average slacker of an employee, which is what almost everyone else is around me. So you get all this work from me, ok, due to the fact that I have no life, and you can't treat me like the others. You have to respect all my work. Don't mess with the few employees who work their ass off, moron. Learn, despite your stupidity, to differentiate between those who break their backs and those who don't, and do not even think of implying that I made a mistake if you're not positive 100%, and even worse do not keep implying I made a mistake after I have shown you that I haven't. The boss is an idiot. This is my final point. And I cannot stand to work my ass off for an idiot and be accused by this idiot of making his own mistakes. Find someone else to blame. Or I will lose my temper again and again.
[...]
No, it wasn't "fun". I can't say that until it's over. It was exhausting to get mad. Getting angry and raging uses up a lot of energies. Now i have just some energies left and I will use them to do some trading work, in the next post. I won't talk about these office problems for a few days hopefully. I am exhausted from this stuff.
http://www.badbossology.com/incompetence
