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This is a discussion on my journal within the Trading Journals forums, part of the Reception category; Ok, slept another hour, got up, and immediately started pissing in my empty milk bottle just like Howard Hughes. Had ...

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Old Oct 14, 2009, 8:28am   #241
 
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travis started this thread Ok, slept another hour, got up, and immediately started pissing in my empty milk bottle just like Howard Hughes. Had another dream, for some reasons I have more when the weather is cold and I sleep with a blanket on. I was back in my college as an alumnus. I went to the "French House", where I lived for a couple of years. It had changed but it looked realistic to me, in the dream. So, I knew that I was dreaming while dreaming, so I decided to run up and down the house to make sure that the dream didn't trick me and that I wasn't building the house with my own imagination (kind of like in the movie "Stay" or even more in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"). So I was going up and down the house, room after room, really fast and checking out every little detail and seeing if everything made sense. And everything did. But now that I'm awake the house I saw seems imaginary. Also. Attached to the house was this new structure, almost like a beauty center or shop, called "le bode et le corps", which doesn't mean anything: I just googled it. There was a beautiful asian lady who saw me and smiled. She looked like she knew exactly who I was. In the dream I thought "these people know who I am so it cannot be a dream, but it is reality". Then I woke up and actually made sure in the first few minutes that this place doesn't exist, and it doesn't. So it wasn't only a dream, but also a dream that had nothing to do with reality. Now I'll go to work, in my single room.



Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine

Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
Will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine

Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime

I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine

Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime

Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime


Everybody's Got to Learn Sometime - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Beck - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 5:39pm   #242
 
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travis started this thread Ok, I wouldn't want to not keep a record when the system doesn't do so well so here I am. Yesterday it didn't make any money. And today, which is usually the best day, the systems are losing 400 dollars so far, with 6 different positions open right now. Now, as usual, I feel like interfering, but less and less, as the weeks go by. Today as usual I'd feel like closing some of the trades and keeping the others open. But then I might close the wrong ones - most likely the winners (that's what I usually do). Also, with more margin available, I will feel like doubling up on the losers. This might work well, but if it doesn't work it will quickly blow out my account. I tend to focus on everything I do, and this applies to trading as well: I would get rid of all trades to try and keep just the best trade, and if that won't be a good choice I'll simply blow out my account. That's how it happened every time.

Instead, I won't do a thing, and thanks to your company and this journal, I will wait a few hours, see how it evolves, and tell you how it ended. It's changing continuously, for example when I started writing a few minutes ago it was at -400 and now it's at -350. Now I looked again and it's at -500. Now it's at -300.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 5:58pm   #243
 
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travis started this thread Losing 150 dollars now.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 6:20pm   #244
 
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travis started this thread Losing 450 now.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 6:58pm   #245
 
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travis started this thread Losing 300 now.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 7:06pm   #246
 
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travis started this thread Losing 200 now, but I see that it's quickly moving my way.

Not all positions are coherent, considering positive and negative correlation among the securities being traded, but I've learned that despite this the profit can be made: one would expect a break-even outcome, but it's rarely the case. Yesterday it was the case.

The GBL alone (LONG on it) is causing the whole loss: -300 dollars.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 7:11pm   #247
 
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travis started this thread Losing only 140 from open positions and lost 130 from a position closed earlier today. EUR and GBP are turning positive (on and off), ZN and JPY were already positive a while ago. CL is going badly, but it will be closed soon.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 7:13pm   #248
 
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travis started this thread Losing 70 dollars (from open positions). I'll be back in an hour. The CL will be closed then, and so will the EUR. I'll let you know how they did. Right now open positions at -200 and closed positions at -130.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 7:54pm   #249
 
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travis started this thread Ok, back. Lost 100 dollars on the CL. Which is really nothing for a loss on the CL. Now -230 from closed positions and -90 from open positions. If the day ended like this, at -300, it would be a pleasure compared to what I lose on negative discretionary days: 50% of my capital. I just looked again and I am at 0 from all open positions. I'd be ok anytime for a week where one day I lose 230, the other day I break even, and the other three days I make about a thousand per day. Well, so far that's been my week.

Friday there'll be no power in the building from 9 to 10.30 AM, for maintenance. That's quite a problem, because it could screw up my whole trading day. My UPS doesn't last that long, and yet I have to start everything by 8 am. I need to buy a laptop so I can run everything from there on such days. Laptops will last without power for over 2 hours. Great invention.

Also, I have thought out a plan for my future. The first way to be rich is to have money. Which I don't have yet. So that will have to be my #1 step towards being rich. But that won't be enough to be able to quit my job. Money in one bank account is not very secure. Money spread out in 10 bank accounts all over the world and still enough capital to trade is step #2. Buying houses will need to be step #3 because only that way I will be almost positive that I will have enough to quit my job. Step #4 will be buying houses all over the world, in case of revolutions and so on. Step #5 if I am still alive by then, will be to quit my job, because then I will be pretty secure. By then I will most likely be 65, just like my mom always recommended "you can do trading, but only quit your job once you are 65". Thanks, mom. That's why I started trading, to be an employee like everyone else. But there's one thing that can make both my mom and me happy: part-time hours. For every few thousands more that I'll have in banks across the world, I will increase my part-time to one hour less. By the time I reach one million I will work 15 minutes per day. Hopefully they will be ok with it. I will get paid maybe 50 dollars a day, but I can always decide to cancel part-time and work as a regular employee again. Maybe I could work out a deal so I pay them to keep me as an employee on a 15 minutes part-time schedule. Or pay them to tell my mom that I am still an employee. Just like I used to skip classes. Since everyone is worried that I might skip work, too.

Anyway, I just looked again and something really pleasant has happened: +400 dollars for open positions and as I said before -230 for closed positions. So I guess I can take a week like this any time: making money every day, except one day when I break even. Of course there's a lot of things open and some have negative correlations (some are LONG and some are SHORT) so those that looked ugly a few hours ago now are making hundreds. Those that were making hundreds a few hours ago now are losing hundreds.

Yeah, again I am thinking that I would have been right in closing the ones making money and keeping the ones losing money, but guess what: sometimes what happens is that those making money keep on making more and more, and those losing keep on losing more and more, and in that case I would have closed the wrong ones, and yet there's no way to know ahead of time. So, as I mentioned yesterday, by nature I would have placed myself in a situation where I could not have afforded to be wrong. A win or bust situation, like all my discretionary trading situations. And that has lead me to blowing out my account already about 50 times in the past 12 years, so let me remind myself one more time by writing it here. Now making only 60 dollars from open positions: from +400 to +60 in just 5 minutes. That's why I can never let myself think I am a genius and invest everything on one thing.

Last edited by travis; Oct 14, 2009 at 8:13pm.
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Old Oct 14, 2009, 8:15pm   #250
 
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travis started this thread Ok, now the EUR has closed as well, and I am down 100 on closed trades and down 200 on open trades.
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