The funniest posts of all time on T2W

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cablemonster

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Please share below your memories from the past, the posts that tickled you or pure and simple split your sides. I will start, not technically a post but something ex member Blackswan wrote on his profile.

A memory, a guy breaking the UK heavy-weight division deadlift record in the gym on a late November Thursday night; no fuss, no ceremony, he just did it. A round of applause he got showered, changed, said thanks, shook hands and went home to no doubt put out fires in the rougher parts of Liverpool (early 80's) the next day. Quiet guy, he flew under the radar, did his job (and his hobby) day after day, week after week, year after year..

Something about this just had me in stitches, maybe my warped sense of humour :LOL: There was one post that literally did me in for like 30 minutes but sadly it was deleted, something the Leopard wrote about Kim on the phone - that was gold.
 

counter_violent

Legendary member
11,113 2,954
Yeah, there have been some classics over the yrs for sure. Mostly deleted.

Might be a book or two in that.

The undeleted gems of T2W vol 1
....only 89 copies left !
 

Hakuna Matata

Well-known member
357 209
And some people have zero imagination and a really dreadful sense of humour.
:sleep:

I'll reply to your PM later on. In the meantime, given that you wrote the post I'm referring to, it's not surprising that you don't see why it's funny.
 
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cablemonster

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Here is a great one from the legendary Socrates:

## ANIMAL LESSON NUMBER ONE ## FIRST PART:~

Dear Frugi,

Ok, I understand your difficulty.
Let us create a model.
The model we will create will be a simple one whose function will be to illustrate a point.
Supposing we find ourselves in the jungle, in Brazil, and we are lucky to see the twig bird in action.
This is most likely to be the sequence of events.
The twig bird flies in with a very thin twig in its beak. It lands on a decaying tree trunk lying on its side, in a clearing. It finds a little hole in which there is a worm. It prods the worm with the twig.

The worm recoils and hides deeper in the hole. The bird persists. The worm moves from the first hole to another hole because underneath is a honecomb of tunnels the worms have burrowed. The bird drops the twig and flies away. Is this a failure ? No .

The bird returns and lands on the same spot., with a larger, but shorrter twig in its beak.
It puts its attention on the same hole as before. It picks up the thin twig in its beak. it proceeds to prod the same worm again. The worm squirms and migrates.

The bird observes this and uses the larger twig to plug a potential exit. It prods again using the thin twig. The worm squirms and migrates in another direction.The bird flies off again.

This time the bird has two twigs in its beak, both fat and short. The two fat twigs are laid down on the tree trunk. The bird once again picks up the thin twig and begins to prod. The worm squirms.

The bird chooses a hole to plug and plugs it. This process of prodding and plugging is continued until the worm is forced to come out of the only available hole that is not plugged
The bird has a very long beak, like a kingfisher. It plucks the worm and flies away with it.

Now sir, what I have explained to you above is a parallel model of what happened with the bars.
The last bar was dropped down just sufficiently to trigger the stop, this winkled out the targeted instrument in a similar way that the worm was winkled out of the hole.
If you do not still understand it I am willing to explain it again until you do.

CONTINUED ON #6
 

Sir Pond Life Dreg

Active member
135 126
http://www.trade2win.com/boards/trading-firms/97720-need-experienced-traders-2.html#post1174594

:clap:

Originally Posted by Black Swan

LOL get to fook you cheeky cnut...I was miles away from even considering coming out there for a 'trading holiday', you asked me to consider joining you. And I have been an investor for 10 years plus, a forex trader only 3 years.

We exchanged a couple of mails/pms. In which I told you in no uncertain terms that no professional, in any capacity, would ever consider joining an outfit remotely or otherwise, or for a bit of a holiday trading blast, until they could satisfy the first basic questions I asked re. initial capitalisation etc... Heh, if the idea really turned me on I might have thought of investing, I'm only a couple of calls away from raising money/getting interest in backing worthwhile projects with the right people. When I gave you a list of questions you then went on the sick for a few days...that told me all I needed to know which is when I lost interest/didn't give you a second thought until you revived this thread when I once again I asked you to supply basic details. Only took 3 communications to flush you out pal..You couldn't answer the questions 'cos you havn't got any fookin money you sad 2 bob dreamer...Good luck with that and now crawl back to stalking and in future before you try and be a snake make sure you've got some venom...prick...
 
 
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