Random bizarre stories from around the world

wasp

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Just saw this in the local paper online.......


Man demanded bank cash for a cold beer


A Kawerau man who demanded money from a bank teller because he needed a beer has been given a reprieve.

Wallace Turner, 59, was initially charged with aggravated robbery .

However, police in the Whakatane District Court yesterday reduced the charge to demanding with menaces.

Turner then pleaded guilty.

Prosecuting Sergeant Adrian Hilterman told the court Turner had gone to the Kawerau branch of the ANZ Bank at 2pm on November 20.

After sitting on a chair for several minutes, he approached a teller and put a .303 bullet on the counter. He told the teller he had "the brother to the bullet in his pocket" and to hand over some money.

As he left the premises with $2570 in various denominations, Turner apologised to the teller.

He went to a nearby bar, asked for a beer and told staff to call the police.

The defendant still had the bullet when spoken to by police. He apologised for his actions and said he really needed a beer as he had been having a rough time of late.

Police let him finish his beer before he was arrested.


Judge Christopher Harding remanded Turner on bail until February 21 for a probation report and sentence.

- DAILY POST


I can't believe they let him finish the beer, classic!
 
This man flies into Gatwick Airport and gets on the connecting train to London Victoria,

Before the train pulls out of the station he settles down to read a paperback.

Just before the doors close....an American gentleman wiith lots of luggage....huffing and puffing....gets on the train and sits in front of him, facing him, , complete with ten gallon hat and cowboy shirt with string tie and studded belt...nods to him and greets him with "Howdy !"....to which the traveller replies with a polite but somewhat more muted version.

Well...the train leaves the station and gathers speed and passes sidings, and bridges,...and farms...and suddenly the visitor points to something in the distance and says in a loud voice

"Excuse me.....

The reader of the paperback looks up..

"Yes ? " he says

Still pointing excitedly at the object in the distance he continues in a very loud voice...

" Is that the Eiffel Tower ?"

The paperback reader laconically replies..

"No...........that's a pylon"

...and continues to read his book.
 
Last edited:
SOCRATES said:
This man flies into Gatwick Airport and gets on the connecting train to London Victoria,

Before the train pulls out of the station he settles down to read a paperback.

Just before the doors close....an American gentleman wiith lots of luggage....huffing and puffing....gets on the train and sits in front of him, facing him, , complete with ten gallon hat and cowboy shirt with string tie and studded belt...nods to him and greets him with "Howdy !"....to which the traveller replies with a polite but somewhat more muted version.

Well...the train leaves the station and gathers speed and passes sidings, and bridges,...and farms...and suddenly the visitor points to something in the distance and says in a loud voice

"Excuse me.....

The reader of the paperback looks up..

"Yes ? " he says

Still pointing excitedly at the object in the distance he continues in a very loud voice...

" Is that the Eiffel Tower ?"

The paperback reader laconically replies..

"No...........that's a pylon"

...and continues to read his book.

Brilliant :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
FXSCALPER2 said:
You gotta laugh. How do you spell sycophant? :cheesy:

He can't help it, anymore than "socrates" can. It's a form of Turret's. Apparently contagious.

Db
 
dbphoenix said:
He can't help it, anymore than "socrates" can. It's a form of Turret's. Apparently contagious.

Db
Now that you have appeared....now is the opportunity to ask you a question....something I very rarely do on these boards..

Seriously now....is Geography taught as part of the school curriculum in the United States at all ?
 
wasp said:
Haha! If thats the norm, I think I'm gonna really like it here!


yep! The kiwis are a funny brand you'll find out soon enough. ( i married one!)


I was in the states a few years and after asking where i was from this lady says 'i've been to the uk, place was Paris!
 
millsy500 said:
yep! The kiwis are a funny brand you'll find out soon enough. ( i married one!)


I was in the states a few years and after asking where i was from this lady says 'i've been to the uk, place was Paris!
I have two fantastic ones to tell you about.

The first involved a visit to part of the former Lone Star Ranch in Texas, which has acres and acres and acres of land, and some of it had been set aside for development.

Anyway, so I am driving past with some friends and we decide to get out to have a look.

They have the most beautiful hall adjoining the reception.

A lady with a blue rinse sporting Edna Everage glasses comes out to meet us, teetering on cowboy boots with exagerrated heels...

So we get to talk as a group and I make the remark the decoration is impressive, old wagon wheels, branding irons, lariats, spurs, chaps...and interspersed with this genuine Wild West stuff that came out of the original ranch there are also some genuine Red Indian artefacts, bows, arrow, tomahawks, feather headresses etc.,

So the conversation turns to American Heritage and finally to a discussion about Red Indians..

At this junction the lady who speaks with a Texan drawl is fascinated by our English accents, and ventures to ask whereabouts we come from..Answers:~ UK ...London...Chalfont St Peter...Brighton....Basingstoke....

To which she nods emphatically and comments whether "you have Red Indians over there, too ?"

It left us speechless...:cheesy:
 
The second experience did not happen to me...It happened to my friend Robert Cherry, who spends a lot of time in Florida where he has a condo, and he is very keen on golf.

He recounts how one day playing a round of golf with some Floridians again they spotted his English Accent.

One of them turns to him and comments on it and asks him where he comes from.

He replies from England and mentions his mother lives in West Worthing, near Brighton on the South Coast..

Suddenly one in the group pipes up and says excitedly he has a friend living nearby...not far from him.

This enthuses my friend who then ventures to ask where exactly.

"Adelaide" replies his golfing companion....totally unaware it would seem that Australia is on the other side of the world.

(This is why I ventured to ask The Great Neanderthal the question that I did.....:rolleyes: ...I am kicking myself...I should have known better...:LOL: ....)
 
A friend of mine on business in Bangkok with the afternoon free decided to check out a local golf course.

To his surprise the club policy was to assign all players a female caddy to help visitors navigate the course.

His caddy was a shy middle aged lady who insisted on carrying the clubs straight away. As they walked up to the first tee he tried in vain to strike up a conversation.

He then I hit a fairly OK drive to which she exclaimed, "Great shot!"

The next stroke was a duffed 5 iron which nearly went into a pond.

"Great shot," she cried. Perhaps he had accidentally done the right thing by laying up before the water.

On reaching the ball he decided to test her knowledge and asked how far it was to the flag.

She paused for a moment and then with a big grin said,



"Great shot!"
 
SOCRATES said:
The second experience did not happen to me...It happened to my friend Robert Cherry, who spends a lot of time in Florida where he has a condo, and he is very keen on golf.

He recounts how one day playing a round of golf with some Floridians again they spotted his English Accent.

One of them turns to him and comments on it and asks him where he comes from.

He replies from England and mentions his mother lives in West Worthing, near Brighton on the South Coast..

Suddenly one in the group pipes up and says excitedly he has a friend living nearby...not far from him.

This enthuses my friend who then ventures to ask where exactly.

"Adelaide" replies his golfing companion....totally unaware it would seem that Australia is on the other side of the world.

(This is why I ventured to ask The Great Neanderthal the question that I did.....:rolleyes: ...I am kicking myself...I should have known better...:LOL: ....)

I like this.

Reminds me of a true story.

When I was living in the US I took a drive from Chicage to Toronto to visit a friend. Not used to the 55mph speed limit combined with miles of deserted roads I soon crept up to 70mph.

Then as if by magic a patrol car appeared from nowhere.

I pulled over and felt a bit nervous as the cop swaggered over. His gun visible.
"Driver's License please."
Not having a US license I handed him my UK one and passport.
He frowned at first then broke into a smile and said.
"You're from the United Kingdom!? Whereabouts exactly?"
I replied, London.

"In that case you might know my auntie Rita. Rita Anderson. She's from a place called Lie-
cester-shyer."

I smiled and said the name sounded familiar but I hadn't actually had the pleasure of her company.

To which he bid me farewell and wished me a good trip.
 
Ever had the English Irish thing abroad?

SOCRATES said:
I have two fantastic ones to tell you about.

The first involved a visit to part of the former Lone Star Ranch in Texas, which has acres and acres and acres of land, and some of it had been set aside for development.

Anyway, so I am driving past with some friends and we decide to get out to have a look.

They have the most beautiful hall adjoining the reception.

A lady with a blue rinse sporting Edna Everage glasses comes out to meet us, teetering on cowboy boots with exagerrated heels...

So we get to talk as a group and I make the remark the decoration is impressive, old wagon wheels, branding irons, lariats, spurs, chaps...and interspersed with this genuine Wild West stuff that came out of the original ranch there are also some genuine Red Indian artefacts, bows, arrow, tomahawks, feather headresses etc.,

So the conversation turns to American Heritage and finally to a discussion about Red Indians..

At this junction the lady who speaks with a Texan drawl is fascinated by our English accents, and ventures to ask whereabouts we come from..Answers:~ UK ...London...Chalfont St Peter...Brighton....Basingstoke....

To which she nods emphatically and comments whether "you have Red Indians over there, too ?"

It left us speechless...:cheesy:



In a bar in New York about 7 or 8 years ago with a friend and had a game of pool. Started playing a couple of the locals and one in particular started getting a bit funky.
"i'm irish you know" He says.
"oh are you" Knew what his game was straight away. Thought i'd let it role though for a bit of fun. A few shots later, "yeah i'm a full blood"
"oh really whats a full blood then?
" both my parents are irish"
" oh right" i say and a few more shots go by.
" yeah i've just got out of jail" he says looking menacing

Anyway, you get the picture and this has been going on for about half an hour . Then i let him have it "yeah my parents are Irish as well" Too easy!
His face was a picture,he went all quite and left shortly after. Hilarious it was. :cheesy:
 
Carlos Tevez

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Tévez
Tévez has a distinctive burn from his right ear, down his neck to his chest. This occurred when he was ten months old while he was exploring the terrain of his mother’s kitchen floor and he inadvertently pulled a kettle of boiling water over himself. This caused third-degree burns to the right side of his face, neck and chest and left him in intensive care for almost two months. Today the scars are a highly visible feature of Tévez, who did not get them fixed because he was playing in a junior football team. He refused an offer from his then club, Boca Juniors, to have them cosmetically improved, saying that the scars were a part of who he was in the past and who he is today[3].

I'd been wondering how this happened for a while...

He's definately a top footballer, and looks like a top bloke also. Let's hope he eventually gets his move to MUFC - the best team in the land!
 
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