Learning to stay calm

Tramadoon

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Hi guys,

I've found trading to be quite stressful... "kinda".

On the one hand, I really, really enjoy it. On the other hand, I'm constantly buzzing and it's exhausting. Then on the weekend, when the markets are closed... I'm bored. At the same time, the constant buzzing can't be good for me. I'm grinding my teeth, I can't pay attention to people talking to me, because my mind is constantly on the market.

Then yesterday I came across this trading psychology guy on youtube. Apparently, he's a neural psychologist (is that a thing?)... and he's been working with traders exclusively for 15 years. He looks like he's 60 something maybe. Is he really good at this job, or are traders just people with access to money? I don't know.

He talks a good talk about training yourself over a period of time (6 months to a year) to react to uncertainty without reverting to "fight or flight". Yes, he's got a course, he's selling something...

My question is this:
Have anyone here proactively tried to calm themselves down and succeeded? And if yes, how?

I mean, if you practise tennis, you get better at tennis. First you learn how to play, then you get better. If you practise calming yourself, you should be able to calm yourself... or not?

Being able to stay calm in a stressful situation must be very useful, not just in trading... all thoughts welcome!

Thanks.
 
In my experience it is a process in which you reach a certain capital, get excited and lose money. After several attempts, little by little your "base capital" increases. If before you were excited to win 500 dollars, you reached 5000 and lost everything, you will arrive several times until 5000 is a normal situation and your expectation is to win 750, and so on up to 10,000, 20,000, 50,000 ...

By the time you realize it, you are handling amounts that you could not bear before.
 
It is possible to control your feelings and calm down. The best way I have found is to lose lots of money over about 14 years of trading. Now when I look at charts I don't look at them with the attitude of what I can make, I look with the attitude of how much they could kick my butt. Since I got to this point surprisingly I started getting better at trading. Wins don't make my heart flutter and losses don't make my heart sink. It's all just part of the game.
 
For me calmness in trading was won by hard experience.

I used to be anxious over some trades and some trade decisions and eventually worked out this was because I could not see what might be going to happen. And because I couldn't see what might happen, I couldn't tell how bad it might be. I wish I had been smart enough to work out what could happen and how bad it could be, then I would have had nothing to worry about - but I wasn't so I couldn't so I did.

Anyway, where I am now I know what might happen and if it does I know exactly how bad it will hurt - and I know it won't kill me. So nothing to worry about.
 
For me calmness in trading was won by hard experience.

I used to be anxious over some trades and some trade decisions and eventually worked out this was because I could not see what might be going to happen. And because I couldn't see what might happen, I couldn't tell how bad it might be. I wish I had been smart enough to work out what could happen and how bad it could be, then I would have had nothing to worry about - but I wasn't so I couldn't so I did.

Anyway, where I am now I know what might happen and if it does I know exactly how bad it will hurt - and I know it won't kill me. So nothing to worry about.
Fail to plan, plan to fail.
 
The only thing that really works for me is to step back for a few minutes and do something calming outside of trading. Sometimes I go outside or I’ll turn off any background noise so I can gather my thoughts and calm myself. This is helpful if you lose because it always feels like a bigger deal in the very beginning, but it isn’t so bad after a few minutes. This tactic also helps me to avoid things like revenge trading in the moment.
 
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