You are correct DT.
Very well Joe, here is my statement, as requested.
I do solemnly swear that this statement be an exact rendition of the facts.
At around midnight last night I was walking home after an entertaining evening at the opera. Unfortunately, my way took me through the seedy part of town. Passing by a particularly low alley of exceedingly vile aspect, I chanced to glance down this revolting thoroughfare of vice.
I heartily wished I had never done such a thing. For my gaze was greeted by the site of Beginner Joe, stark naked on his knees and clearly very exited as was to be seen from his state of tumescence (the protuberance itself was small, but nonetheless obviously at its fullest stretch).
In front of him stood two gentlemen of butch and hirsute appearance, bedecked in what I can only describe as bizarre homosexual parodies of motorcycle outfits consisting of hat, sunglasses, biker jacket, latex vest and thong, biker boots and the whole completed with a$$-less leather chaps.
As I watched with a sense of not only fascination, but also mounting horror and revulsion, they proceeded to slip their latex thongs to one size to reveal tumescent protuberances similar to Joe's, although very much larger. They then presented these to Joe, who greeted them as a starving man would address the beef trolley at Simpson's in the Strand. It was plain to me that Joe was an enthusiast of meat on the bone.
When Joe had finished performing the dual function of extraction device and receptacle, the bikers tossed him a few coins (although he did not appear to be soliciting payment, having performed the work with such vigour and relish that it appeared to be almost a vocation for him). He then hurried from the alley looking well-pleased with himself, if a little sheepish.
This is a genuine statement and has not been photoshopped.
whistling
