Having a hard time letting go!!

[bonchi07]

Hello,
Lately I have been having a hard time overcoming trading mistakes that once in a while we all make.
I get very upset and it is hard for me to let go. I know intellectually I have to but somehow I have a hard time putting it into practice.
Any suggestions?

 

[NVP]

this is a business..........and like any business you get wastage, inefficiency and also you have to ditch the bad eggs that appear sometimes to protect the company

NO one is a 100% perfect trade trader.........its impossible

live with the wastage and discard the bad eggs immediately

N

 

[tomorton]

let go meaning relax / get away from the screen or in the sense of letting losing positions / shareholdings go?

 

[bonchi07]

this is a business..........and like any business you get wastage, inefficiency and also you have to ditch the bad eggs that appear sometimes to protect the company

NO one is a 100% perfect trade trader.........its impossible

live with the wastage and discard the bad eggs immediately

N

Thanks for your input! I assume the bad eggs are ones that are going against you!

 

[bonchi07]

let go meaning relax / get away from the screen or in the sense of letting losing positions / shareholdings go?

You brought up a very interestin point which is walking away from the screen. I have done this in the past and it does work. There is a sense of disconnection when you physically move away.
Thanks for the reminder.

 

[tomorton]

It's a hard lesson I learned a few years back - I saw that the more I watched the screen, the more I 'managed' the trade, the less proift I made. Now i set my entry orders and walk away before they even trigger. Stops and limit orders are pre-set and I usually use OCO entry orders so that whether price goes up or down I should be in the market.

 

[Cornix]

What exactly makes you feel so sorry about the mistakes? Can you explain in details please?

 

[bonchi07]

What exactly makes you feel so sorry about the mistakes? Can you explain in details please?

Mostly is about not having self discipline. I am aware intellectually of this but at times I dont follow my own rules and that is what upsets me.

 

[ccclarette658]

Let it go. You will find comfort in letting it go. Do something else. If you understand the markets and your strategy but cannot execute because you do not understand yourself then go and do something else. You will find freedom in letting it go.

If it is for you, it will be there the rest of your life when you learn what you need to about yourself - ie the source of the "not having self discipline". Is it really that, or the fact that you don't really know what you are doing?

Being in the market without understanding exactly what you are doing and why is a recipe for disaster. It might be that your rules do not work, hence the temptation to override them during a live session. If you know your rules do work, then where is the trouble to execute coming from?

 

[MajorDutch]

Mostly is about not having self discipline. I am aware intellectually of this but at times I dont follow my own rules and that is what upsets me.

lack of discipline, lack of patience and overtrading are all obstacles that a trader needs to overcome to be successful. At the end of the day only you can decide to be disciplined, only you can show patience. Some people reckon that trading with a larger account size will cure overtrading, if you have big money on the line are you likely to go taking B & C trades or just stick to the A+. on the other hand it could spell disaster if you lost big.

there is a psychological reason for you breaking your own rules, basically it is our sub conscious playing games with us, if you have a bad trade and you have broken your own rules it gives us a reason why the trade failed a kind of self sabotage. It has been suggested that this stems from a lack of taking full responsibility for the trade and truly accepting the win or loss when you pull the trigger. If you are trading a small account and sitting there on a 1m/5m time frame it is so easy to overtrade. If I told you your next trade will either make or lose you $10,000 then I have your attention then you wont be so trigger happy. all in the mind dude.

I have looked at about 10 potential tardes tonight, I know some look promising and will probably hit likely target but I am passing on all of them. The reason why - I know a juicy ripe trade is going to present itself to me tomorrow, this week, this month it will come. I know when this moment comes I am in and I know it will be a very high % trade. I will go in fully accepting the small possibility of a loss because I know if I only take these trades good things will happen.

 

[rathcoole_exile]

this is precisely why go-go bars were invented !!!

just do as Tomorton suggests, set your triggers, and then head off for a couple of drinks and a short-time

believe me, you're results will improve dramatically

 

[Cornix]

Mostly is about not having self discipline. I am aware intellectually of this but at times I dont follow my own rules and that is what upsets me.

Do you have any idea why it happens? What prevents you from being disciplined all the time you trade?

P. S. I am psychologist with some experience of helping traders with professional mental/emotional problems, thats why so many questions.

 

[Sidekicker]

Mostly is about not having self discipline. I am aware intellectually of this but at times I dont follow my own rules and that is what upsets me.

you may have to go through this a few times before you let go.
It is one of those things involving money that the less you care about what happens the better you trade and the more you make.

 

[neil]

you may have to go through this a few times before you let go.
It is one of those things involving money that the less you care about what happens the better you trade and the more you make.

True -the biggest enemy of the trader is the trader

 

[bonchi07]

Let it go. You will find comfort in letting it go. Do something else. If you understand the markets and your strategy but cannot execute because you do not understand yourself then go and do something else. You will find freedom in letting it go.

If it is for you, it will be there the rest of your life when you learn what you need to about yourself - ie the source of the "not having self discipline". Is it really that, or the fact that you don't really know what you are doing?

Being in the market without understanding exactly what you are doing and why is a recipe for disaster. It might be that your rules do not work, hence the temptation to override them during a live session. If you know your rules do work, then where is the trouble to execute coming from?

Thanks for your input. I do know the rules but it is the lack of discipline following the rules. I guess it all has to do with my emotional state and I agree with you about doing something else.
In the past it has worked for me and even stepping away for a few minutes works. It is almost like gaining balance again.
Great insight! Thanks a lot!

 

[MajorDutch]

this is precisely why go-go bars were invented !!!

just do as Tomorton suggests, set your triggers, and then head off for a couple of drinks and a short-time

believe me, you're results will improve dramatically

are you a sexpat?

 

[rathcoole_exile]

are you a sexpat?

ha ha ha, i wish i were !
I'm supposed to be,
but I've ended up a struggling single dad of 2 young kids

I've got 3 mates arriving this week. they'll be spending the next fortnight or so shagging their way throuh Pattaya's go-go bars while I'll be stuck at home with the weans.


But I might manage to get out for one or two quiet beers........ :clap:

 

[Pat494]

I agree taking time off after a bad trade but not so keen on the setting a trade up and leaving it to do whatever.
Once in I like to watch the trade. This is where patience and self discipline are needed. If it is going wrong then out immediately. None of the " it may yet change back my way" stuff. Occasionally it does but those times it doesn't and keeps on and on going the wrong way far exceed the small wins.
Know thyself and one's chosen instrument !!
What could be simpler ?

:smart:

 

[Pat494]

The ancient Saints, I forget which one used to strip off and roll around in a bed of nettles to punish himself !

A bit extreme for today's spotty youth I expect.

 

[bonchi07]

The ancient Saints, I forget which one used to strip off and roll around in a bed of nettles to punish himself !

A bit extreme for today's spotty youth I expect.

Yes, extreme! but great methaphor.
Thank you