Girlfriends and Wives and Trading.

[Mr. Charts]

gay

And that from the guy who wanted fellatio from AM/HT :cheesy::cheesy::cheesy:

 

[arabianights]

yeah, but he's a girl

 

[Mr. Charts]

why are you insulting girls?

 

[Paul71]

Thanks for you reply,

My ambitious goal, would be that she could give up work and become a full time mother. Which is what she desperately wants. She is consumed with the thoughts that by working she is missing out on being a full time mother to our pre-school son and making it harder to achieve a potential sibling. We have a pretty modest income and mortgage, her input to be replace would be about £700 PCM. I am not interested in more possessions. Maybe I should show her this reply, so she knows my motives?

It seems like a pipe dream, with trading being so hard. At the moment I am working on various candle stick reversal patterns on key s/r areas, with some success but need to improvement on management and exits.

Kind Regards
Jason

Jason,

I'll give you this advice, it's up to you what you do with it. Never fall into the trap of relying on the markets for money...you will end up losing more than you intended, and maybe not just money.

Some people are employed and work within the industry, they have a contract, and they get paid.

Most are just desperate for the 'false freedoms' and 'sense of achievements', carrots that are only 'dangled' in a persons own mind and not actually by the market.

Play the game and take what you can, build on this, you have the rest of your life. Enjoy your health, family, freedom and friends. Never become an enslaved prisoner of the market.



Paul.

 

[Depth Trade]

My advice is go for the divorce now whilst its cheap, rather than after you prove successful, because its going to happen as sure as night follows day, or alternatively, forget about this trading malarky.

This subject of wives and girlfriends demanding attention, and constantly interrupting whilst you are working has been covered before, but I draw your attention to Mr Socco's absolute masterclass on the subject

His initial advice to some poor punter whose wife was giving him grief and interrupting whilst he was trading was this:


You have responsiblity for your trading, you yourself, not anyone else. You must have total control of what you are doing, without interruption, however well intended. You cannot afford ANY distractions that are neither necessary nor desireable.

If you shrink from it, and don't do it, you are certain to have plenty of grief.

The lesser grief is better than the greater grief.



A couple of punters questioned his wisdom, so Mr Socco kindly elucidates


When I finished my studies, I did a stint at the M.O.D. There was a perimeter fence and a restricted area. You are familiar with this sort of environment.Outside a building was a red plaque with bold white lettering that read:

OUT OF BOUNDS
TO
VISITING UNITS

In all these years I have never forgotten the signifiance of that sign, so clear, so blunt and so much to the point.I have had it replicated, out of nostalgia and practicality.

It is displayed outside my office. It serves to discourage visitors.

Also, outside my office there is a small red LED light, with a warning:~ DO NOT APPROACH WHEN RED LIGHT IS ON Additionally anyone who rings in the middle of an op, gets barked at. "Not now ! " and the phone is slammed on the caller.

Everyone who knows me and has been here has to accept that these are my requirements. This includes my wife.

But my wife, used to do to me what your wife did to you. They don't mean any harm. They have no intention of causing any grief. But their frame of reference is inadequate, the same for visitors or callers.

They all have to be TRAINED.

They don't know, they don't understand, and they don't realilse.

They need to be TRAINED . YOU have to do the TRAINING.

They cannot TRAIN THEMSELVES, otherwise they would become traders, like you are.

You have to TRAIN THEM not to INTERRRUPT.

You have to put in EFFORT into this TRAINING that YOU MUST DO, until the REASON FOR THE TRAINING is finally ACCEPTED ~ UNDERSTOOD and ACCEPTED..........and ......

ADHERED TO !

Otherwise you make a rod for your own back by trying to please everyone but screwing your own self up for nonsense. Having said that, it is a different matter if the interruption is warranted by something really important or urgent that cannot wait.

But you are ultimately responsible, not her, therefore you must take precautions that the excercise you describe is not repeated. You must put in place your own model for PREVENTION OF UNNECESSARY INTERRUPTION to that which ought not to and can not be tolerated to be INTERRUPTED.

This is my constructive and sincere advice to you. I promise you that it works.




Mr Socco when questioned on the techniques appropriate to TRAIN A WIFE



About techniques, yes, sorry, here goes. For example, create a make believe situation.

Sit the lady in front of the screen. Give her a huge hypothetical responsibility.

For example, cause her to imagine that what is exposed is equivalent to the contents of your home. Now explain, that if she is right, all is safe, but if she is not, all the furniture, carpets, paintings, all the kitchen stuff, pots and pans, cooker, fridge, dishwasher, and crockery would sort of be taken away by bailliffs. Get her to realistically imagine that.

Now get her to guess three times what prices are going to do. Make every point worth an item of favourite furniture.

Show her the principle of using a stop to limit possible losses of equivalent items.

Show her the consequence of responsibility in a framework she can relate to and accept and understand. Now put her through this mincer, and see what happens.

And then, regardless of the outcome, explain all of this requires your undivided attention "without interruption" and the reasons why.

And now make a point of training her to leave you alone when you are in front of a screen, whether you are running a position or not. Remind her of the furntiure, or even the car, if necessary, and that will give her a frame of reference to understand it is to do with REAL MONEY and not a screen game.

See how this pans out.

If the message does not land, PERSIST until it DOES.



Although those posts still amuse me, he's 100% correct, the grief you'll suffer in handling tis problem is a fraction of the grief you'll suffer if you ignore it !

The only one that needs to be trained is "stincco" and yourself.

If what you are doing is that critical, it's because you have no idea what your doing and really don't have a winning strategy or plan.

When you reach the point of being profitable, nothing fazes you. You have already experienced all possible stress and know how to deal with. Making up some hypothetical senerio to confuse your wife and make what your doing seem more important is nothing more then BS. You stroking your own ego, because you really don't know what your doing.

..or you'd be cool as fck.
You'd be inviting in the wifey and bang the sht out of her.
She'd be coming in everyday bringing you a home made sandwich, with no underwear and a short skirt, begging to rip your **** off!
Then you'd drop her a couple hundred dollar bills and send her down to Victoria's Secret to buy some lingerie.

That's how player do business.

 

[Black Swan]

If what you are doing is that critical, it's because you have no idea what your doing and really don't have a winning strategy or plan.

When you reach the point of being profitable, nothing fazes you. You have already experienced all possible stress and know how to deal with.

This bit I agree with, early days you need absolute concentration, thereafter blaming others for failure is simply failing to take responsibility and looking for an excuse...

 

[Vaco]

Jason,

I'm married with a child and I can say without a shadow of a doubt that if my wife did not want me to succeed at trading as much as I do it would cause a huge amount of tension and stress in the relationship, these things are not good for a clear mind and trading with out emotion.

You say she is against it for the time you spend away from her, imagine the arguments if you blow your account and have to top up.

Others on here have said they have alienated friends, lost loved ones in their quest to become profitable traders ( trader_dante comes to mind) You have a young child, you are not in a position to drive your loved ones away without great regret.

Although I do not believe trading will lead to divorce/seperation for you, if you find that it is causing constant arguments and stress in the house you have to consider the impact of this on your child.

Good luck as it seems you have caught the trading bug and your wife does not see your goals as atainable, if she did she would support so that she could give up work.

 

[counter_violent]

How does someone with Zero interest know what is attainable by another....

Also people who rely on the approval of others are permanently lost and will never stand on their own Two feet.

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down with a firm hand..... as long as that's alright with you dear !

 

[Vaco]

How does someone with Zero interest know what is attainable by another....

Also people who rely on the approval of others are permanently lost and will never stand on their own Two feet.

Sometimes you just have to put your foot down with a firm hand..... as long as that's alright with you dear !

They don't, and there lies the problem.

If you are in control of the purse strings then its very easy to put your foot down but when you rely on your partners income to get by, then that gives them a voice in how the joint income is squandered (family holiday or trading account).

Very easy to shout macho advice fromt the sidelines ' be a man, do wht you want when you want, show her whose boss'

bet you all run soon as the missus calls your name

 

[counter_violent]

Not me .....mine gets told when iv'e had enough !!

 

[Tenapenny]

Not me .....mine gets told when iv'e had enough !!

I sometimes get told when I've had enough! ...........

 

[Vaco]

Surely you should be asking her wtf she thinks shes doing out of the kitchen?!

bit hard when the reply comes 'earning a wage to put food IN the kitchen'

 

[Kiango]

Hi
From a womans point of view ..she just wants to spend time with you..
Speak to her & tell her that you are doing all this learning so that she can be come a f/t mum ..you will be her hero!- and come to some comprise, weekends devote to her - & maybe 1 night in the week just trade for an hour & then spend quality time with her.
communication is key (oh & great sex helps!!)

 

[HaloTrader]

I have several wifes, you can imagine how difficult it is for me.
All imaginary ofcourse.

 

[Vaco]

I have several wifes, you can imagine how difficult it is for me.
All imaginary ofcourse.

bit like your no loss trading trading then

 

[HaloTrader]

bit like your no loss trading trading then

I don't think its a 'bit like'...

I think its identical!

P.s. I've great respect for you, i've tried and tried but i can't beat that damn God snake score - I'm not in the right frame of mind... The psychological number of 1600 gets to me.

 

[Lea Mille]

Jason, all she needs is attention. I think you should spend more quality time together. I really don't want to say that but all women are kind of desperate for attention ( that increases their self-esteem, even a simple complement, etc.) and she might start looking around if you know what I mean.

 

[jaspertrademaster]

Jason, make enough money and she will find plenty to do without you.

 

[Lea Mille]

Jason, trading can be an addiction in a way, but you have a family and apart from being a father please don't forget that you are a husband too. On your way home you can buy some kind of dessert ( with a bottle of wine if you wish or flowers if your wife likes), that will definitely put smile on your wife's face. When your wife is happy- you are happy and trade well. Her anxiety and anger ( i.e.bad mood) passes on to you and you keep thinking about that. It's hard to maintain long-term relationship and it requires skills and wisdom.

 

[counter_violent]

Jason, trading can be an addiction in a way, but you have a family and apart from being a father please don't forget that you are a husband too. On your way home you can buy some kind of dessert ( with a bottle of wine if you wish or flowers if your wife likes), that will definitely put smile on your wife's face. When your wife is happy- you are happy and trade well. Her anxiety and anger ( i.e.bad mood) passes on to you and you keep thinking about that. It's hard to maintain long-term relationship and it requires skills and wisdom.

:whistling A large portion always helps.