Cover Letter Check - PLEASE!

[Weiden]

Hello,
english is not my native language, so I would be very glad if you people could correct my cover letter, if there are any mistakes. I am applying for an investment banking analyst position in central europe in the field of m&a and private equity.

THANK YOU!!

Dear Sir or Madam,
through the *company's name* webpage, I learned about your firm’s present career opportunities. I was excited to read about the position of Investment Banking Analyst at *company's name*. The skills and qualifications you are seeking match exactly my abilities and experiences. I would like to be considered for the position and I am very confident to convince you of the qualities that I would bring into your company:
I finished my business studies at the University of xxx with a degree in banking and finance in October 2009 within in the minimum required time period of three years (among the top 10% of my class). My professional interest includes corporate finance, mergers & acquisition and private equity, which is why I focused on these fields during my bachelor studies (through a specific combination of subjects and term papers, i.e. through choosing the specialization course “company valuation” or writing a paper about mezzanine finance).

After my 4th semester, I interned in the field of equity research with the *company's name* Group, where I continued to work on a part-time bases until my graduation. Currently I am working for the *company* in the field of corporate finance / M&A consulting, following an internship with *company* in the same field. Originally, I planned to follow my master studies after the internship with the *current company*, but in the last weeks I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to enter the job market and an MBA after some years of professional experience will suit better my professional career. When I read that *company* is looking for an Investment Banking Analyst, I knew that that’s the perfect career choice for me at the moment.

I picked *company* over other M&A / private equity companies because of the combination of both businesses and the strong business focus on Eastern Europe. Taking into accounr my baltic background and my existing strong network in those countries, the prospect to develop and enter the markets in Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia for *company* in a few years is very exciting and motivating.

With my position at *company* I want start a successful and international investment banking career in Austria and the Eastern Europe countries and make a vital contribution to the success of the company.

I would be glad to get the opportunity to introduce myself!

Yours faithfully,

I want to send the application tomorrow, monday, so it would be great if you could post tips asap!! Many thanks!

 

[Paulie_5]

Hi - I've corrected purely from a grammatical point of view ....

Dear Sir or Madam,

Through the *company's name* webpage, I learnt about your firm’s present career opportunities. I was excited to read about the position of Investment Banking Analyst at *company's name*. The skills and qualifications you are seeking match exactly my abilities and experiences. I would like to be considered for the position and I am very confident that I could demonstrate to you the skillset required. (slightly better way of phrasing it)

I finished my business studies at the University of xxx with a degree in banking and finance in October 2009 within (I've deleted the "in") the minimum required time period of three years (among the top 10% of my class). My professional interest includes corporate finance, mergers & acquisition and private equity which is why I focused on these fields during my bachelor studies (through a specific combination of subjects and term papers, i.e. through choosing the specialization course “company valuation” or writing a paper about mezzanine finance).

After my 4th semester, I did an internship (better English - "interned" sounds a bit slangy) in the field of equity research with the *company's name* Group, where I continued to work on a part-time basis until my graduation. Currently I am working for the *company* in the field of corporate finance / M&A consulting, following an internship with *company* in the same field. Originally, I planned to follow my master studies after the internship with the *current company*, but in recent weeks (better English) I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to enter the job market and an MBA after some years of professional experience will suit better my professional career. When I read that *company* is looking for an Investment Banking Analyst, I knew that it would be (better English) the perfect career choice for me at the moment.

I picked *company* over other M&A / private equity companies because of the combination of both businesses ? (I don't really know what you are trying to say here - but it doesn't quite make sense) and the strong business focus on Eastern Europe. Taking into account my baltic background and my existing strong network in those countries, the prospect to develop and enter the markets in Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia for *company* in a few years is very exciting and motivating.

With my position at *company* I want start a successful and international investment banking career in Austria and the Eastern Europe countries and make a vital contribution to the success of the company.

I would be glad to get the opportunity to introduce myself. (I'd go for just a full stop. Exclamation marks trivialise letters in my opinion)

Yours Faithfully,




I've quickly scanned through it and changed the obvious mistakes. (as you said you wanted to send it tomorrow).

I'm sure others might re-work it differently, but as it stands it is perfectly acceptable from a non-native speaker.

Good luck !

Paulie

 

[Weiden]

Thanks a lot.

I picked *company* over other M&A / private equity companies because of the combination of both businesses ? (I don't really know what you are trying to say here - but it doesn't quite make sense

you have to know that the company i am applying to, has two main segments:
-M&A consulting
- direct private equity investments

In my opinion that's a big advantage because I want to work in both segments, expecially taking into account that most companies are eiter an m&a ib or a private equity company. But I replaced the line through

...other M&A / private equity companies because of the activities in both segments and the strong business focus on Eastern Europe

I think that should be better.
Again, thanks a lot!

 

[counter_violent]

Hello,
english is not my native language, so I would be very glad if you people could correct my cover letter, if there are any mistakes. I am applying for an investment banking analyst position in central europe in the field of m&a and private equity.

THANK YOU!!

I want to send the application tomorrow, monday, so it would be great if you could post tips asap!! Many thanks!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sirs,
Through viewing the *company's name* web page, I learned about your companys present career opportunities. I was excited to read about the position of Investment Banking Analyst at *company's name*. The skills and qualifications you are seeking match my abilities and experiences. I would like to be considered for a position and would be grateful for an opportunity to persuade you of the qualities that I may bring to your companys operations.

I finished my business studies at the University of xxx with a (state the degree/ honours/ grade etc) degree in banking and finance in October 2009 within the minimum required time period of three years. My professional interest includes corporate finance, mergers & acquisition and private equity, which is why I focused on these fields during my bachelor studies through a specific combination of subjects and term papers, i.e. through choosing the specialization course “company valuation” or writing a paper about mezzanine finance.
After my 4th semester, I interned in the field of equity research with the *company's name* Group, where I continued to work on a part-time basis until my graduation. Currently I am working for the *company* in the field of corporate finance / M&A consulting, following an internship with *company* in the same field. Originally, I planned to follow my master studies after the internship with the *current company*, but in the last few weeks I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to enter the job market and to defer MBA studies until i have some years of professional experience. When I read that *company* is looking for an Investment Banking Analyst, I knew that would be the perfect career choice for me.

I picked *company* over other M&A / private equity companies because of the strong business focus on Eastern Europe. Taking into account my baltic background and existing strong network in those countries, the prospect to develop and enter the markets in Estonia, Lithuania and Latvia for *company* would be exciting and motivating.

With a position at *company* I would like to start a successful international investment banking career in Austria and the Eastern European countries and make a vital contribution to the success of the company.

I would be very grateful for an opportunity to introduce myself.

Yours faithfully,
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[DionysusToast]

Let me first say that your letter as it is would NOT put me off bringing you into an interview but it also would NOT make you stand out in any way at all. It's like every other letter of it's kind. If you are expecting a large number of applicants - you need to do some work to make it different from the others and therefore more memorable.

I would cut out paragraph 1 completely. The stuff about your studies is fine.

You have to remember that people reading letters like this (i.e. people like me) read 'complimentary' comments in them all the time and they come off as 'sucking up' a bit.

Omit the unecessary:
1 - how great you think the company is
2 - how well you would be suited for the job
3 - how hard you will work/how motivated you are
4 - how you want to start a great career

All that stuff is in every letter and they just become a blur after a while. It's a bit like smelling perfume at a department store - after a few, none of them stand out.

Also - and don't take offence. No-one reading the letter really cares about what you would like. In fact a statement of your long terms goals can be detrimental to getting a job if the person reading the letter expects a certain length of service in an entry level job.

The person reading that letter is primarily going to be interested in knowing what you can do for them - which your resume should include. What you need to omit is anything like " I knew that would be the perfect career choice for me", "I would like to start a successful international investment banking career " - as it is irrelevant to the person reading the letter.

Keep it brief. Keep it on target which is "What can you do for them". What specific skills you have for the job is of utmost importance, just don't fall back on comments like "make a vital contribution to the success of the company" - it's too general -tell then specifically what skills you have - let them figure out that you can make a vital contribution.

Take out the stuff about not doing an MBA - it makes you appear indicisive and possibly a dropout.

It has to be said that the cover letter is not so important. It may not even get read. The longer it is, the more likely it will be skimmed.

If you want to REALLY get noticed, then do the following:

1 - find out the name of the person who you would be working for in this role
2 - send a letter marked "private and confidential" to that person
3 - letter should state that you have been researching prospective companies to work for after your studies. That you are interested in any graduate positions they may have and would like to know where they advertise for such positions so that you can monitor for future positions.

All of a sudden you have done the following:
1 - Made it look like you have a lot of initiative (which you have, just not the type they think you have)
2 - Gotten your resume in front of the person who you'll be working for - totally avoiding any HR people

If you think it won't work - this is how I got my first graduate position at 18 years old when I wasn't even holding a degree. My initiative got me into the aptitude tests & interviews even though I didn't have the required qualifications.

I have one friend that attached his resume to a bunch of flowers he sent to a boss who, like many people at that level are famous for binning unsolicited resumes. He also got a job - and the boss wasn't even recruiting.

Make an impression.

 

[Dante26]

I think Dion's advice is superb. I would add that you talk more about your equity research internship. Talk about what skills you learnt and how that applies to the job you want, and in a couple of impressive achievements. e.g '..as an equity research intern I deveoped a database which was adopted by the team and significantly reduced the time spent on company valuation comparison...I believe I can leverage this experience of company valuation to a position as an M&A analyst'.

Remember do not waffle in a cover letter. Make it factual. Make it concise, using the least amount of words to get the same message across. The cover letter should not go into too much detail but make a few key highlights to get the reader to want to read your CV.

Also follow up with your CV. Call them the next day to find out they received the application and if possible speak to the hiring manager about this so that they remember you when they read the application. Good Luck.