Advice...?

[UKtradergirl]

I don't know what to do!

My Uncle wants me to help him with his business, work for him perhaps a few days a week.

I haven't worked for anyone for 18 months now and not sure if i want to or not. Add to that the fact that i am already making money trading, enough to live on, and i have a 8 month old baby who i'd like to stay home with as much as possible.

Sounds simple eh? Just turn him down and continue trading from home. The only problem is i feel a moral obligation to help him since he bought a car for me to use when i didnt' have any transport (tax, insurance, etc all included). He wouldn't pay me very much at all, and i would have to find childcare for my baby. I don't know what to do!?

reasons for working with uncle:
- get out the house more
- fulfill moral/family obligations towards my uncle and pay him back for his help when i needed it
- can still trade a few days a week/ or swing/position trade more instead
- make family happy
- secure, even if very small, income

reasons to not work for him:
- want to spend more time with baby
- want to continue trading
- working for him will effectively be a pay cut for me since i would lose trading days and his pay would not make up for it
- cost of childcare
- don't want to go out in the cold dark mornings and scrape ice off my car!
- i'll be bored and won't enjoy the work after the first few months

It seems obvious looking at the above- i just don't want to do it. But how do i reconcile that with my obligation towards my family to help them?! Also, my capital is not huge and a period of several losing months in a row will most likely render me having to go back to work anyway. It's not happened yet and i've always made money but i'm no fool and know it is possible.

What do i do?!?!

 

[barjon]

Have you discussed it with uncle? He may be thinking he's doing you another favour - in which case no problem in turning it down. On the other hand, he may be looking for a favour in which case you have a dilemma - maybe set a few months time limit on helping him out or something like that.

jon

 

[UKtradergirl]

He is desperate for help with his business, has just moved premises and business exploding with activity. He needs someone he can trust 100% but who also comes cheap for now. The idea about just making it for a limited time sounds a possibility. I can't bear to stop trading even if he paid me £100k the thought would still depress me.

 

[barjon]

Does he know about your trading and approve of it?

jon

 

[fibonelli]

"Also, my capital is not huge and a period of several losing months in a row will most likely render me having to go back to work anyway".

Work for your uncle for say 2 days per week for 6-12 months so you can build up a decent capital reserve and help your uncle to forward plan your replacement. A win-win.

Couldn't another relative help you with childcare?

The markets will always be open (in some form or other).

 

[rawrschach]

You could trade ES or YM...or forex

 

[UKtradergirl]

He knows about my trading. Not sure if he approves or not-- i think he is OK with it but perhaps worries (like i do) that the income is not consistent. He buys shares himself too (as an investment rather than as a 'trade'). I don't think he is doing this to try and help me out, i think he is genuinely desperate for the help-- i've already put him off a couple of times before.

 

[shadowninja]

Is it office work? Why not say that you would still like to keep an eye on the markets during the daytime at your desk. Depends if you're doing 200 scalps a day or maybe 3 trades a day.

 

[UKtradergirl]

"Also, my capital is not huge and a period of several losing months in a row will most likely render me having to go back to work anyway".

Work for your uncle for say 2 days per week for 6-12 months so you can build up a decent capital reserve and help your uncle to forward plan your replacement. A win-win.

Couldn't another relative help you with childcare?

The markets will always be open (in some form or other).

My mum has the baby occasionally when i need to do things but it is hard as my mum is disabled. No other relatives that would look after her.

I don't think i would be able to increase my capital much by working for my Uncle- not unless i looked into more position trades instead and they happened to work out well (which is quite possible as i'm more successful over longer time frames anyway).

I think i could do it for 6 months- and think i'll probably have to! thanks for the advice.

(the reason why i'd have to go back to work after a few losing months trading is because i refuse to eat into my capital to provide my income- it's meant to be growing not decreasing! 2 losing months would equate to a capital reduction of 12%... at a push this could go to 3 months, representing 18%- but at this point i would definitely stop)- no income + dwindling capital= big trouble.

 

[UKtradergirl]

Is it office work? Why not say that you would still like to keep an eye on the markets during the daytime at your desk. Depends if you're doing 200 scalps a day or maybe 3 trades a day.

I suppose that is an option too, he probably would agree to let me trade at work rather than not have me help at all. I don't scalp-- well, only sometimes but that is more out of a sense of adventure then actual meaningful trading (really not a good idea), so having a job at the same time would probably stop me scalping which could be a good thing.

With a little modification of my strategies i'm sure i could work around it.

I just don't want to go back to working for someone else . It is family so i suppose its not the same anyway.

I'm going to have a chat with him tomorrow, but i think i've got it sussed now. I will help him out for a limited amount of time on the condition i can still trade from work. I think he will understand this- it really is a necessity. It won't detract from the job too much anyway, i don't need to stare at the charts constantly... just seeing the figures in the background is enough- and perhaps a couple of minutes about 3 or 4 times a day just to close a trade out- i can do all my analysis and set orders in the morning before i leave for work. I'm sure he will agree.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[KillPhil08]

I think choc's idea is a good one. You could just ask him to buy you an iphone / ultraportable then you could do a few trades a day quite easily. Limit orders are the best way to go anyways.

 

[barjon]

He knows about my trading. Not sure if he approves or not-- i think he is OK with it but perhaps worries (like i do) that the income is not consistent. He buys shares himself too (as an investment rather than as a 'trade'). I don't think he is doing this to try and help me out, i think he is genuinely desperate for the help-- i've already put him off a couple of times before.

Then he'll understand that it's important for you to keep in tune with the market and that any help you give must fit in with that. eg: if you trade predominantly in the mornings then you help him in the afternoons or if your favoured trading days are tuesday, thursday (say) then you help out monday, wednesday and friday.

I'm sure you can sort something that works for you both.

jon

 

[UKtradergirl]

Yeah i'm sure we can compromise- after all it is family, not some scary big employer who won't even let me check my emails during work time!

I guess i was just a bit depressed at the thought of leaving behind my current lifestyle of not being answerable to anyone- but this is just a bit selfish of me. I'll get over it- and it will be for a short time.

 

[RedGreenBen]

Yeah i'm sure we can compromise- after all it is family, not some scary big employer who won't even let me check my emails during work time!

I gave up work to look after my 1 year old daughter (who is now 3) and I have used that time to learn how to trade without having to earn £2k+/month (my girlfriend went back to work).

It all depends on your personal circumstances but the opportunity to devote the necessary time without overbearing financial pressures is a rare thing, possibly once in a lifetime. There have been lots of good suggestions here about compromise, all of which I would agree with, just don't lose sight of how important trading is to you and how difficult it is to get through the 'lean learning years'!.

Ben

 

[UKtradergirl]

Hi Red-

When i fell pregnant i was working a temp job. I also got quite sick and could not make it in to work so just gave it up to trade from home full time. Since then i've been making steady gains but there has been pressure there to make an income (i am a single mum with no help from the ex), since i cannot claim benefits (too much savings). It is a brilliant opportunity and have been enjoying myself immensley- and doing well. That is why i am loathed to give it up now. But i think i have to . I suppose in another 6 months i can re-assess and go back to being a fulltime mum/home trader again at that point, it won't be too late.

 

[RedGreenBen]

Hi Red-

When i fell pregnant i was working a temp job. I also got quite sick and could not make it in to work so just gave it up to trade from home full time. Since then i've been making steady gains but there has been pressure there to make an income (i am a single mum with no help from the ex), since i cannot claim benefits (too much savings). It is a brilliant opportunity and have been enjoying myself immensley- and doing well.

As tough as it is, you seem to have made a sensible compromise given your situation. Sounds though like you have the 'drive' not to loose sight of the bigger picture once you get involved in the 9-5.

I am lucky that all I have to worry about is if Social Services will get involved as I have trained a 3 year old to understand the difference between being 'long' or 'short' and which way we want the graph to go !

Ben (earning a McWage and loving every exciting day of it!)

 

[UKtradergirl]

haha... that's nothing! My baby is constantly trying to take over my trading for me... she's already done a few trades of her own (clicked the mouse). I'm so proud! Seriously though, i think it is great for them to be exposed to trading... looking at charts, basic maths. They may grow up to be brilliant traders.

I was taking a McWage for a long time... it's slowly increased over the year but i have been trying not to take more than necessary so i could grow my capital also. Moving house in the middle of it didn't help and was a big expense. Anyway, McWage or millionaire wage, i'm proud of what i've achieved-- and i'm sure you are too-- it's a big deal to make any money at all in this game!

 

[Charlton]

Yeah i'm sure we can compromise- after all it is family, not some scary big employer who won't even let me check my emails during work time!

I guess i was just a bit depressed at the thought of leaving behind my current lifestyle of not being answerable to anyone- but this is just a bit selfish of me. I'll get over it- and it will be for a short time.

You never know - after your uncle looks over your shoulder he might want to get into trading as well

Good luck with it all and I am so pleased that you have a lot of support on T2W willing you on.

Keep copies of these posts to show your daughter when she is older. I'm sure she will be very proud of her mum.



Charlton

 

[UKtradergirl]

Ahh that's lovely Charlton- thanks!

re. family wanting to trade- don't get me started on this! They keep asking me for 'tips' on which stocks to buy... how should i know?!?! I think they are getting the idea now though. My dad wants to learn to trade also- he didn't know what a candlestick chart was- i was surprised as these to me seem to be something i've always known- although it must have been a surprise to me too at some point that i can't remember! I taught him what a candle was and what it showed and he is positively beaming thinking he has discovered a trading secret..... oh dear... bless him.

 

[BSD]

Hi Donna, what a conundrum...

I think that life is far too short to do anything that you do not really want to do and that doesn't feel right.

There may be things that do not always seem that great at the moment, but where at least an eventual or ongoing benefit is still to be had like from studying or exercise.

None of that comes through here though does it, neither choice, fun or perspective.

Every single fibre of you seems to be saying very clearly I want to trade, and I want to work for myself.

It seems to me that the only reason you're even thinking of helping your uncle out is because he helped you out by buying you a car, and because he is family

Well, that certainly was very nice of him, but is imo still no reason to give up your lifestyle and ambitions, just to help him live his dream. It's not like he couldn't hire somebody else after who would also be trustworthy, maybe you could even help him hire somebody else.

It's just that these things can be pretty treachery slopes, once you extend your little finger they'll have your hand before you know it, and you wake up one day and find yourself in a life that wasn't what you wanted it to be.

I say do what feels right, what you really want to do, and the rest will sort itself out in the best possible manner for all involved.