Recent content by JKK

Good list thx :)

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip...

A married couple is having problems so they go to counseling. They sit down with the specialist and the wife points out the numerous problems with their marriage. After about 30 minutes, the specialist gets up, walks over to the wife and kisses her passionately for a full 10 minutes. Then he...

The New Element Amsterdam, NL -- September 14, 2007 - Recent hurricane and gasoline issues have provided proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25...

When Insults Had Class "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the...

The Blonde Kidnapping A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote a note."I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave...

A Heroic Woman Just after the storm that sank the small vessel, a helicopter dropped a rope to take up the survivors of the shipwreck: ten men and one woman. Yet, as they were all hanging there between life and death, holding onto the slippery cord with every ounce of strength they had, it was...

What The H***? Last February, a Canadian businessman left the snow-filled streets of Toronto for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap...

Old English Joke How to give a cat a pill: 1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill...

Let's not forget the famous postcard: "Everything is here, wish you were fine..." -- Anon :lol:

A Soldier's Story By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded with a proprietor. "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, but he is an Air Force guy" admitted the manager, and he might be glad to...

A Proctologist claims these are actual comments made by his patients while he was performing colonoscopies: "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" "Can you hear me NOW?" "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!" "Could you write me a...

PRINCIPLES OF SEX You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." -Steve Martin- "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -Woody Allen- "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."...

There's three guys in line to get in heaven...St Peter says to the first one: "what brought you here?"...the first guy said, well I thought my wife was having an affair so i came home early to catch her..I burst through the door and checked everywhere but i couldn't find the *******...finally, I...

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. Eating lunch one day, the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican...