my journal 2

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Old Jun 7, 2010, 6:58pm   #856
 
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less than 24 hours after total defeat...

Yamato started this thread That is it: it only took me less than 24 hours from total defeat to do the whole thing all over again. I formatted, reinstalled xp, reinstalled all HP drivers, all windows updates, did an acronis image, and now here I am, about to watch the Mulholland Falls movie all over again to make sure this time things go ok. If they don't, then it's a hardware problem - no doubts about it.

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=8SXNEOMF

Once I'll be 60 minutes into the movie, I will know the problem is solved. And then there's no way I am deleting this last acronis image: never, ever. Nope. I might create new ones, but never delete this image of a perfect brand new xp and drivers.

Oh yes! 33 minutes into it... it's definitely working. It used to freeze after less than 5 minutes.
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Old Jun 7, 2010, 8:18pm   #857
 
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ok, it works... i am on a roll

Yamato started this thread Watching these now:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...Academy-Awards

http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...-Darwin-Awards

Yeah, Joseph Fiennes is another one who picks pretty good movies, non-commercial ones:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Fiennes
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/?actor=5148

Maybe they're not perfect movies, there's often something wrong with them, but it's always interesting movies, movies that make an effort at being good movies. Not harrison ford, julia roberts happy-ending movies.

Yeah, the Darwin Awards sucked. But they made an effort. They were ambitious. Not like those hollywood movies.

Wow, this is awesome - it's like watching a great comedy film:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...Academy-Awards

Wow wow wow!!!

These academy awards are giving me great ideas for good films to watch, from this year and from previous years. Here's another one:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-18055-In-the-Loop
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Old Jun 8, 2010, 10:09pm   #858
 
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movies still working

Yamato started this thread Watched the whole Academy Award ceremony. It's better than watching a good movie.

Today I made yet another discretionary trade because thanks to the latest loss I had fallen below trading capital. Now I am back at 2800 and I can trade a couple of my systems.

It wasn't really compulsive gambling, but a calculated trade - I hadn't placed any for weeks, since my latest account being blown out.

This happens every time. I blow out, stop for a month, start again small, succeed, get cockier, and eventually blow out my account again. The life of the automated trader is just too boring for me. I need something else, but I can't really find out what would keep me busy every day for several hours.

Yeah, movies. But... holy cow, I'd be needing to watch 4 movies per day to avoid any trading at all. By the end of a month like this I'd be interacting with people like in a movie, and maybe I'd get killed or kill someone, since most movies are violent.

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Old Jun 9, 2010, 9:48am   #859
 
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"demoltiplica" and other crappy things at my bank

Yamato started this thread List of today's complaints:

1) Air conditioning is loud (something is wrong with it) and I called the guys at assistance and they will take 2 days to get here and probably won't even fix it. I should go on strike because it's impossible to work with this goddamn noise.

2) I lost my goddamn bank id in the elevator (it fell in the elevator shaft, because I was rushing to go back to work) and I asked for a new one over a month ago and still didn't get one. Goddamn bank.

3) We have a meeting with my boss to talk for 2 hours about "demoltiplica", which is some synergy bull****. Ridiculous to talk about how to work better with one another when there's two thirds of my bank who's permanently talking on the phone or on a coffee break, the cleaning ladies don't clean but steal stuff, photocopy machines and printers are almost always broken, software applications suck, almost nothing and no one in the whole bank works. Probably there was one guy who was doing nothing so they put him in charge of writing some bull**** and now we need to have a meeting to discuss his bull****.

Later edit:
Goddamn it! In less than 2 hours the maintenance person came and fixed the air conditioning. I just have two more complaints to go and then I'll be ok for today.
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Old Jun 9, 2010, 12:28pm   #860
 
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complaining about everything and everyone

Yamato started this thread What's happening is clear. I am deeply unhappy and I have taken the habit of complaining almost all the time about something or someone: at home, at work and even on vacation.

What do other people do when they are bored and frustrated? Sometimes they do even worse - they take it out on other people, the ones responsible for their frustration or even innocent people, who have nothing to do with it.

I am better than that - I complain on my journal. In terms of social impact I am better, but maybe I am worse in terms of survival. Maybe I would be a happier person if I managed to fight more against those who are pissing me off. Yet I cannot do it, because of my education, which I can do nothing about. You are the way you are. If you're polite you can't turn yourself into a rude person.

This does not mean that I am good. I hate people all the time, and I would like them to die, but I can't help being polite when I interact with them.

This is regarding people. Now, regarding myself, something must be done to change because I am tired of complaining because it seems like a big waste of time.

On the other hand, I am worried that if I stopped I'd develop some internal illness, like ulcer or similar, that according to general wisdom happens when you keep your frustration inside.

But this may be all wrong. Sometimes things sound right even when they are wrong. Maybe if I try to stop complaining, I will become suddenly happy. Maybe the problems are made bigger by my complaining, and the solutions are hidden from my sight because I take the wrong attitude.

Once, a Japanese friend told me this, that I make problems bigger by complaining about them and thinking about them. She may have been right.

Usually I don't like people who say "smile and the world will smile at you". I usually think that's bull**** and that you will get ****ed over if you don't look out all the time. In fact other people say "be mean and people will be nice to you". There's two opposite theories, just as there are opposite sayings for just about everything, and this makes it stupid to quote wise sayings because they don't prove anything, since you can always find something that agrees with you, no matter what you do.

There's not going to be some hard thinking and then me coming up with "eureka!" and a solution to my complaining and the secret to happiness. I feel that probably it will happen naturally. One day I will touch bottom and stop complaining. It's happened before. It goes in cycles. When the glass is almost full, I complain about the fact that it isn't full. But when it's empty, there's so much to complain about that I simply find it more effective to look at the water left in it, and focus on the positive.

So, just for writing's sake, what is the positive right now?

1) I have a job
2) I have a lot of free time

Negative (can't help it):

1) I have little money
2) I am stuck here at my job
3) no women

I guess it all comes down to this pyramid of needs, it's called "Maslow's hierarchy of needs":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow'...archy_of_needs

Quote:
...The lower four layers of the pyramid contain what Maslow called "deficiency needs" or "d-needs": physiological (including sexuality), security of position, friendship and love, and esteem. With the exception of the lowest (physiological) needs, if these "deficiency needs" are not met, the body gives no physical indication but the individual feels anxious and tense...
500px-maslow_hierarchy_of_needs.bmp

I remember reading about this in a textbook for Psychology 101 or something like that.

I don't even satisfy all requirements on the bottom of the pyramid, how can I expect to be happy?

I lack in sleep and sex and I don't know what homeostasis is. I lack the crap at the bottom of it, and I have things on top of it, like morality but they don't make me happy because I don't get sex basically. That's pretty funny, because this pyramid sums it all up quite effectively. You can take anyone, even the most respected person, and, according to the pyramid, you will know if they are happy or not, because like... for a priest you will know he's not getting sex, so he must be unhappy regardless of what he says. Pretty amazing that no one ever talks about this.

If you look at this pyramid (better if you read the wikipedia entry) you can see how you can quite easily translate money into most of the needs being satisfied. And that's why we are all here hanging out on this forum, trying to find a way to make money, which will then satisfy all these other needs from the pyramid:
1) sex (more money, better looking women, more time to look for them and more attractiveness, or you can just pay them)
2) sleep (more money, more time, no job, less worries => better and more sleep)
3) food (more money, better food, more time to eat and relaxation needed to take your time while you eat)
4) breathing (more money, relocation to a less polluted place, better breathing, more health)
5) health (more money, less work, more sports, better health)
6) friends (more money, more time and resources to spend with friends, more people wanting to be your friends)
7) self-esteem (obvious)
8) confidence (obvious)
9) morality (this is ridiculous and even misleading, but if you're richer you can be more generous and you're going to feel better about your morality and everyone will tell you what a "good" person you are, and all that crap)

Basically the whole pyramid of needs gets fulfilled with money.

And if I am on this forum, I am basically here because I am trying to make money and be helped by other people to make money, so I am ultimately here because I am trying fulfill that pyramid, so despite all the complaining and all that, I am being very rational by writing a journal here, because several things have improved in my trading thanks to this forum and several opportunities have come my way. So, thanks to t2w for enabling me to get closer to the pyramid.
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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 9, 2010 at 1:00pm.
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Old Jun 10, 2010, 7:20am   #861
 
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psychology...

Yamato started this thread Interesting event, or rather usual event and interesting analysis that I thought of today.

A couple of days ago I felt the EUR was due for a rise and I went long on it (discretionary trade) but I only held it for a few dozens ticks, and a couple of days. Yes, I made money, but I also expected the rise to last longer than 2 days.

Yes I didn't hold it. Why did I close the position?

I remember thinking when I closed it that it might have fallen back down. I thought to myself: is it worth it to risk losing these few hundred dollars of gain in order to try to make another few hundreds? And I thought it wasn't worth it.

But I wouldn't call the closing of the position a mistake. You can't just say "yes, i would have made more" and then, afterwards, decide you made a mistake, because back then you didn't know it would have made more.

The problem is if when you entered the trade you were hoping for 100 ticks and then exited with only 40 ticks. It all depends on what your plan was and what the odds for that plan were.

The problem is that with discretionary trading first of all you don't know the odds, and therefore you often don't have a plan based on odds, and therefore you cannot have a plan at all, but your trade evolves according to whichever wins between your fear to lose what you made or lose more than you're losing and the hope to make more than you are making or lose less than you're losing.

So, recapitulating, here's the problem with discretionary trading:

1) no knowledge of odds
2) no plans
3) obviously no sticking to plan, because there's no plan (and there shouldn't be)
4) exiting based on feelings

But then the question arises as to why you should enter a trade when you don't know the odds of your entry and therefore do not have an exit plan. That is why this kind of trading is often called gambling.

But then why are there discretionary traders who make money and who cannot be called gamblers? Because, unlike me, they're good at guessing, roughly, the odds in their favor and in picking only the trades where the odds are in their favor. I am too insecure about the odds in my favor, and when I enter a trade, I rarely know if the odds are in my favor.

By odds basically I am referring to being able to answer questions like these:

1) is this trade more likely to go up 100 ticks than down 100 ticks?

2) am In a position where I can lose 100 ticks (so to trade more afterwards even if I lose)?

If I answer yes to both, then I can make the trade and stick to it, but usually when I enter my trade I am unable to answer this type of questions, and so I should not enter the trade.

For other people it's different, but I would guess that for most people it's like me. And yet this is not going to be the last time I make a discretionary trade based on hope and fear and a rough estimate of my odds, rather than a clear plan, with questions asked and answered before entering a trade. This is all in my nature of a compulsive gambler, whereby I will be more likely to enter the trade if today I am frustrated and I need a reward from the market to compensate some frustration from work. This is in my nature, and my account until something changes is not safe from this nature.
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Old Jun 10, 2010, 3:28pm   #862
 
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Riviera Paradise

Yamato started this thread I was riding in the cab, and there was this song playing, so I asked the cab driver what it was a here I am:



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riviera
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevie_Ray_Vaughan

It's not the usual song they play on the radio. Usually I have to sit there and here a radio station where they utter some bull**** about a soccer game or the latest radio hit, very low quality usually.

And today is gone as well. Another day bites the dust.
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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 10, 2010 at 3:41pm.
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Old Jun 10, 2010, 6:40pm   #863
 
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pretty in pink

Yamato started this thread This is quite good, in that you feel that you're right there, living the life of these guys, in highschool and everything:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretty_in_Pink
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=8Z4275MZ

Not a masterpiece but a very good movie for its kind.

Of course we don't expect this type of crap to be as good as a scorsese film, but in its crappy genre, it's a very good film.

In fact the director made pretty good movies:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Deutch

This is another good one by him:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gre...rs_(1988_film)
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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 10, 2010 at 7:37pm.
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Old Jun 11, 2010, 5:16am   #864
Joined May 2010
re: my journal 2

i felt that way before I think u better of daytrading if u have the time. I recommend you at least spend 4 hours in a day just to day trade simulation.
ill give u a guide if u have the time. I did blew my capital more than u before.
I tried to hold for few days bla bla bla it never works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by travis View Post
Hey, if you can make money trading you have many options. Take time off and do things properly, or hire someone to do it for you. Personally my problem right now is a lack of capital, and it has been the case for the past 2 years. No matter what capital I have, unless it's higher than 100k (which was never the case), it will always be too little for me, I will rush to increase it, and then I will lose it all. That's been the case for the past 2 years. Had I not done, by now I'd have several hundred thousands. But each time I rushed, because I felt I had nothing, and I blew out my account dozens of times. I had 2k, didn't feel like enough, and I blew it. Had 10k, blew it. Had 20k, blew it. Had 30k, blew it.

I think unless I'll have 100k and see constant profits of several thousands on a weekly basis, I will always feel poor, unsafe, always will try to rush things, and always go back to zero.
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Old Jun 11, 2010, 5:21am   #865
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re: my journal 2

if u hav free time just analyze my statement with charts instead of watching movies all the time.
and then when u have question ask me. most of the question are answered on post anyway. but ur special i dont mind to explain it until you understand.
I have not tell u all my stuff yet so far.

Quote:
Originally Posted by travis View Post
Yeah, I am curious how the "deadline June" is working out for you. I've been skeptical about the "deadline June" concept from the start: how can you say "by June I must have a profitable system"?

Anyway, regarding your questions.

This round I didn't lose discipline simply because when on Thursday I went there and tried to go LONG on the EUR at 1.22 (I would have blown out my account again), IB didn't allow me because they're not using half intraday margin anymore, due to the high volatility of markets. So my trade wasn't accepted for lack of margin. Pretty sad because it wasn't thanks to any discipline, but pretty good that it wasn't accepted.
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Old Jun 11, 2010, 5:50am   #866
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re: my journal 2

ill try to post my trade with the time if u desire to see it.
my statement doesnt contain time element. so it wont help.
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Old Jun 11, 2010, 6:48am   #867
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Yes, thank you for the help. When and if I will try to learn discretionary trading again, I will ask for your help.
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Old Jun 12, 2010, 6:11pm   #868
 
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let's go to prison

Yamato started this thread This is good:

http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...s-Go-to-Prison
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Old Jun 12, 2010, 8:47pm   #869
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Another good one:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...thout-a-Paddle

This dax guy stars in very good unknown movies:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1009277/

Great actor and comedian.
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Old Jun 13, 2010, 11:27am   #870
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Wow, this is real quality comedy, actually hilarious (these guys know what they are doing):
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...e-of-the-Month

Director:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_Coolidge

This movie is a great comedy but it's also effectively telling me that I am taking my job too seriously and that a job is not worth ruining your life. I am not going to get fired or anything if I don't work my ass off like I've been doing until now. I pretty much look like the two competing employees, protagonists of this movie.
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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 13, 2010 at 3:09pm.
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