my journal 2

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/From_the_Earth_to_the_Moon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Trip_to_the_Moon

Good post. I am back at home from yet another tiring day at work.

Spoiler alert: watch the movie before clicking on any videos below or it will spoil the movie

... having a very hard time relaxing. After several years of non-stop work on both office and automated systems, i am having a very hard time relaxing. It's the time to relax, during these two weeks I have the opportunity to relax and instead I am so unused to it that it's making me stress out even more. I can't even sleep by how nervous/excited I am. I don't know if i am either nervous or excited to go on vacation for 2 weeks.

I skipped work today because after a heavy dinner i was unable to sleep last night.

I will probably skip the whole day or most of it tomorrow, because once again I am sleepless.

It's not my fault. I always told the guys at the office to allow me to take vacations only one day at a time or I'd have a hard time dealing with it, but hell no, they said Italian law now requires them to MAKE me go on vacation for at least 2 straight weeks, thereby entirely disrupting my work schedule and rythm.

So here they have it, the consequence is that I started relaxing/stressing out two days earlier (as my friends came here two days early) and I skipped work as a consequence. Probably they won't even give me a hard time about it, but the problem is that I totally feel guilty about it, and yet i shouldn't, because i simply can't sleep and that is so because I simply worked my ass off for the past several years and now a vacation of 2 weeks feels like a big problem.

Work is simply a bad thing, and vacation makes me come back to life, and when I come back to life I don't want to work anymore, and that is why I always had wanted to avoid long vacations, but hell no the state forces me to take it, so the hell with everyone, the state and the office, and myself. I can't help it. I can't sleep and I am skipping work tomorrow as well. Next time they'll make a law that doesn't force me to go on vacation.

Hi

been following your journal for a few weeks now and I have to say I really look forward to your posts. You have a lot of ups and downs and I think it makes interesting reading. You 'come across' in your writings as a very nice person; another human being trying to make the best of things..Anyway I see you sometimes receive criticism, not always fair or reasonable. All I can say is that it's the easiest thing in the world to criticise someone and to be wise in hindsight. Personally I take my hat off to you and wish you well in your life and tradings..

By the way I never have problems with vacations/holidays in that it's never long enough!

Good trading..

Big Al60

Oh, thanks for these very nice compliments. It's one of the best feedbacks I've received so far for my journal, in the top #5 of all feedbacks. I've always wanted to be a writer and to have a reader who told me the things you wrote.

If you don't have problems taking a vacation, it means you're not afflicted by a compulsive personality (like me) and probably won't have all my problems with trading.

Now I even have the problem that I cannot sleep on vacation, as it's been for the past 2 days (actually I had to go to work, but I told my colleagues that I am taking two days off since I couldn't sleep).

Change has always stressed me out. These ridiculous two-weeks vacation in the middle of a five-year work period are a grotesque joke. It would be like having, as a prize, to live one day with a millionaire. I would rather not do it, because it would **** me off and disrupt my life more than give me pleasure. But they forced me and here I am.

I am on vacation with those people and today i let them go on a trip by themselves, so I could take a break, because I am not too social and being too much around them was stressing me out.

But the vacation is working and I found out that today I slept 12 hours. Very good for me. I hadn't done it in years.

So I just woke up and opened up the EUR and I noticed it has fallen a lot more in the meanwhile:
http://futuresource.quote.com/charts...M&b=CANDLE&st=

Quite rare to see such falls (rises on the Dollar Index chart above). If it hadn't blown out my account ten days ago, it would have done it last week for sure, because I would have kept on trying to pick a bottom, and would have doubled up if I had been proven wrong. That's a sure way to blow out your account: you just double up when you're wrong, and sooner or later you'll be wrong enough to lose everything. Even better: you bet everything on every trade, and you'll blow it out. I basically employ trading methods that ensure financial ruin. I have a tendency to do that. Even once I find methods that don't do that, I revert back to the old methods.

Anyway, today I am home, sleeping, but not just because these guys were tiring me with their company (they're quite easy to get along with, but they still tire me). Yesterday I started running like an idiot while going down some hills near the lighthouse, and I fell. It made me realize that I am not a kid any more and my legs aren't as quick as they used to be. So I now have a scratch near my elbow and something in my knee. Nothing broken. So that's a second good reason to do nothing. From now on, I'll skip the hiking and just stay at this house near the beach, the house where I had always planned to live. Of course in two weeks I'll have to go back to work.

The weather this year sucked so I am not sure if I am ready for a swim yet. I can barely sleep at night by how freezing it is. The water will definitely be cold, but maybe not freezing (not meant literally). That's the question. I can take 20 celsius degrees and a little less, but not too much less.