my journal

This is a discussion on my journal within the Trading Journals forums, part of the Reception category; Ok, after all this talking and quoting, tomorrow I should have no problems at all making money, and so the ...

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Old Jan 3, 2010, 8:03pm   #2038
 
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Re: my journal

travis started this thread Ok, after all this talking and quoting, tomorrow I should have no problems at all making money, and so the following days. But I might still do some paper trading, because it is actually a good thing. I'll just keep my real money trading for the things I am feeling positive about, like overnight reversals and such.
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Old Jan 3, 2010, 8:40pm   #2039
 
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Re: my journal

travis started this thread Hm... I thought Carmela sucked as an actress, but I have changed my mind after seeing this (minute 44 and neighbouring):
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/tv-413...n-4-episode-13

She just has to play the role of an unpleasant person. And she plays it so well that the parts of the series she's in are dislikable. This series is so good that you actually feel that such a family exists and that the Sopranos and all the other characters are real people.

It's all great acting, by her and the others: throughout this episode. This is one of the best episodes.

Last edited by travis; Jan 3, 2010 at 8:54pm.
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Old Jan 3, 2010, 9:25pm   #2040
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Re: my journal

Found this post on will power and self discipline and how to improve that, I thought the author's reflections were quite on point and useful. (Motivates me to really make effort to improve in that regard this year.)
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Old Jan 3, 2010, 10:39pm   #2041
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Re: my journal

Here's another motivating and challenging post by a good trader that I follow on Twitter.
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Old Jan 3, 2010, 10:43pm   #2042
 
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Re: my journal

Quote:
Originally Posted by wprins View Post
Found this post on will power and self discipline and how to improve that, I thought the author's reflections were quite on point and useful. (Motivates me to really make effort to improve in that regard this year.)
Awesome link.

Travis - you needed this holiday break. No trading and some thinking have made the most profound change yet.

Without wishing to lecture, it seems to me that you're mind has opened up enough to re-read your log. Go back and look at some comments others have written... I think you will appreciate what you have going.

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Old Jan 3, 2010, 10:55pm   #2043
 
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Re: my journal

travis started this thread Well, the way I see it is that I did benefit from readers such as wprins and weighbridge, and from the books they and others have advised me to read. Also it was helpful to read private messages from people worried about my compulsive gambling. Because I feel an incentive to become profitable, at least to do it for them. I felt bad for people worrying about my gambling.

But I think I got the most out of my own thinking and writing. To me this journal is like free psychoanalysis, and the readers are my psychiatrists. They don't talk, but they are listening, just like a shrink, except for free.

I am saying the biggest help came from myself, because, among the other things, it cannot be otherwise, since I usually do the opposite of what people try to make me do. So I'd go as far as saying that I've understood some important stuff, despite other people's advice. But I'll agree that some people have managed to get me to listen to them. Certainly not those writing short posts with a lot of "!!!" and "???" in them: whether or not they were trying to help me, they pissed me off quite a bit. I am giving the award for "most patient reader and writer" to wprins. I think I really tested his patience with a lot of objections, corrections, remarks, and he still didn't tell me to **** off, so I now listen to him, even though I'm still quite capable to decide by myself. If there's a mistake I'll never make is to follow some guru or someone talking on CNBC. I simply look at the charts, and listen to myself, even too much. Yeah, maybe this journal gave me a good opportunity to hear what others thought.

For example, Elder and Douglas benefited me (only because I was ready to read them and understand them), and I owe this to advice from readers who somehow, patiently, got me to read them. I already thanked me in previous posts.

(By the way, wprins: I changed the bracket order back to a risk/reward ratio of 1 to 2, with stoploss at 0.01%. I think it's best to train myself to some more accuracy, and also I don't want to have to take 400 dollars losses on the EUR, because that is a bit too much for me right now, psychologically).

But also many thanks to you and the others who tell me: we're following you and we see improvements. And: keep going, you're going in the right direction.

Thanks to everyone, even those trying to help me by writing "Stop doing this!!!!!" and "do you understand????", even though obviously I get pissed off each time I read their posts.

Last edited by travis; Jan 3, 2010 at 11:12pm.
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Old Jan 3, 2010, 11:30pm   #2044
 
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Re: my journal

travis started this thread I just saw clearly how differently I think when I am betting money and when I am paper trading.

I have an ongoing trade LONG on the EUR open since Friday. The GC also looks bullish, and I went LONG on it (to practice and see how good of an edge I have with my predictions).

Both open trades look as good, yet I have not considered closing my GC early, whereas I just caught myself wondering whether I should close my EUR early.

Why? Because when money is on the line, you get more insecure. I guess this talk could apply quite similarly to a surgeon, whose work decides the lives of others.

So, one more reason to do more paper trading: I guess if I'll get very confident with my paper trading, I will transfer that confidence into my real money trading. Otherwise, you might never be able to get the practice and develop the confidence needed to trust yourself and your edge.

This is a change: it wasn't until I started to think of this douglas' probability approach that I've really accepted the thought of paper trading. Until now, I've recommended it to everyone (only since this year, before I totally ignored the benefit of it), but haven't been able to do it myself. Why? Because deep inside, until now, I had always thought that all my future trades would be winners and that doing paper trading would mean wasting good opportunities. But if you think in terms of probability, your next ten trades will ALWAYS have 8 winners and 2 losers. If you think in terms of pride: you will have 10 winners out of 10, and paper trading will waste potential profits.

Probably that's not enough to explain it. On top of my pride-ridden approach to trading, there's my compulsive gambling and trading addiction, that demanded emotions and excitement. And you cannot get that out of trading if you are just paper trading.

Probably also other things that I am not realizing, as usual.

Last edited by travis; Jan 3, 2010 at 11:38pm.
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