my journal

Ok, I was wrong, now prices are moving against me, and it's not fun after all.

Wow, what a wasted trader's life and what a wasted life my life has been. Always trying to make things go my way, without ever adapting to them...

Prices go down, and I will them to go up, but do not reverse my position. Things don't go as I want them to go at work and instead of speaking up, I go on strike and don't show up the next day... it's a pattern.

They say "when there's a will there's a way", and I took it literally. I will things to go my way, but do nothing else about them. And now I'm willing prices to go up.

This is making me appreciate my automated systems and it's making me realize how much hell is trading without using takeprofits and stoplosses, or at least trading without volatility.

And yet I am not going to say this is always the case at this hour, because it is not true. All my studies confirm that we move just as much during the night. I don't know that. It just sounded good to say it.

The YM is terrible. It's been at 10343 to 10344 for hours. It'll be important if it gets to 10345. That'll signal some big move I think.

Uh-oh... major event: the YM went to 10345. Something big is about to happen.

Money would be good for me because due to my dad i've always felt that my life was bitter... sour... chronically sour. You say this? Bitter maybe. Well, it was bitter because of my dad's negativity. I feel that i could only possibly counter this sensation with a lot of sugar, that money could provide. Sure it would have been nice from the start, without having to get it myself. My dad instead, and it was part of his bitterness, never gave me any. He wanted to teach me sacrifice. Sacrifice means not spoiling your children. You have money but you deny it to them. Other people are dressed with expensive clothes, whereas your son has to be taught to not waste money on clothes, but just on important things, like culture, studying, books, piano, learning. So, I've had this bitter life, and I wanted to add a lot of sugar to it.

This type of counter-trend trading is very boring, because there's no worrying about where it might go. It can only reverse, and if it doesn't, you later close the position. There are no surprises. I am just waiting for this guy to reverse and go up.

But not him, nor any other of the futures I am monitoring are going up, except the JPY, who's always on his own. Dangerous and unpredictable guy.

I am waiting for the YM to turn green any time, and the others as well. The CL is close to turning green as well. They will all start rising together, in a few minutes.

Still just an hour to go for my prediction to come true. But that means we should start rising big time within ten minutes or my whole talk was wrong today. 1.6535 still... it's not good. We should be rising any time, or it'll mean that despite the big fall of yesterday - it lasted many hours even though it wasn't steep - we won't have any correction.

If no markets start rising big time by 6 AM CET, then I will have to exit the trade for fear of falling asleep and not being awake to close it at 9, but also because I changed my mind and I think it might be much lower at 9.

Yeah, everything is going up now, and I am breaking even again. Maybe in a few minutes there's going to be a big rise.