I note the European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other alternative considered.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that english spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that should be completed by April 2010 and would become known as "Euro-English".
YEAR 1,
"s" will replace the soft "c". sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard"c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This will klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
YEAR 2.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
YEAR 3.
In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
YEAR 4
By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v".
YEAR 5
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz year, ve vill hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru
ZEN VE VIL RUL ZE VORLD!!!!!
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that english spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that should be completed by April 2010 and would become known as "Euro-English".
YEAR 1,
"s" will replace the soft "c". sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard"c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This will klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
YEAR 2.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
YEAR 3.
In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
YEAR 4
By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" wiz "v".
YEAR 5
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz year, ve vill hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru
ZEN VE VIL RUL ZE VORLD!!!!!
