yuo say it's sad, but funny enough my perception of hookers has totally changed after reading a question & answer thread with an ex hooker on another board (i won't post a link coz as yuo can imagine the nature of the thread is very sexually explicit in parts)
at first i thought this chick was a troll but her answers seem so realistic and the striking thing is the sincerity that she's maintained for something like 3 or 4 pages especially when she was talking about her family. I've copy/pasted a few of the questions and answers below (don't worry, they're not explicit) and as yuo can see, she says that most hookers are intelligent and happy
although i suspect that Judy Lynn does not fall into that category... but this Soccer Mom strikes me as being a very kind and intelligent person who's a good mother to her kids and who loves her husband deeply. Her Q&A thread was one of the most insightful and thought provoking threads i have ever read on a message board
- Car Key Boi
Guest: Do you ever miss the action? Was it hard as a woman to not get emotionally attached? Did you get emotionally attached? How has this affected your emotional well being today? Why is it supposedly hard for a hooker to give up the business? Thanks for the Q+A
Soccer Mom: I miss the excitement/action, sure. Sometimes. But mostly the life I'm in is pretty busy and exciting in its own way (three kids, part time job, etc.) It's not something I regret doing when I did it, and it's not something I regret leaving when I did.
I got emotionally attached to a few clients, as they did with me. One of them died of cancer recently, and we had stayed in touch all these years; I cried for three days over his passing. It came in waves. It hurt as much as losing any good friend would.
My emotional wellbeing was strengthened by all the fascinating, intelligent, funny and caring men I met during my proffession. They gave me faith in men, and an understanding of men.
I didn't find it too hard to quit the biz, so I'm not sure about why some find it hard to quit. I guess it depends on what the biz was to you; for me, it was a business venture, not a validation of my desireability, or of my value as a woman.
I've been out of the biz for over a decade, and won't be going back (too old to even consider it, and now I'm kinda addicted to this whole love/monogamy thing). Even if my husband dropped dead, I'd most certainly seek out love and monogamy with another man.
Car Key Boi: okay, i'll bite, WHY did yuo do it?
Soccer Mom: I liked s*x. I needed money. I knew of the word prostitution and what it meant. I figured that it would be a good biz for me to get into.
I also know, after some self-reflection, that part of me was trying to re-earn money and sexuality I felt had been robbed from me in my youth. It was in some ways a lifestyle that helped me reclaim my physical and mental wellbeing, by being in control when I had often felt I had no control as a child, of situations and predicaments that I felt were unfair, unjustified, and cruel.
It was my way of learning how to trust men again. When I had s*x with them, and they paid me, it was somehow a clear choice on both parts to be honest, fair and non-judgemental of each other. It confirmed that men were not bad, and neither was I.
Mr Happy: Hello Soccer Mom. I'd like to ask, did you feel proud that your industry was the inspiration for so many great blues songs?
Soccer Mom: lol, I never thought about songs, but i felt pride in the biz when i saw Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. I thought she did an excellent job. I really liked that movie, and it showed a more uplifting, upbeat and actually realistic side of prostitution that society for years had sorta doubted existed. Most of the chicks I knew in the biz were pretty happy and smart; there were the miserable ones, the drug addicts, the coniving cu**s who would rip off clients and such... but the majority of the hookers were fair players, and the majority of clients were also fair players.
The only aspect of that movie that kinda baffled me is the whole 'no kissing' thing, and I guess for some chicks the whole kissing this is 'emotional', but for me... well, kissing is part of s*x sometimes. Adds to the whole passionate nature of s*x. It did, however, make good sense to add that into the movie, because when she and Richard Gere kissed, you knew it had become something more than just s*x (for her, and for him.)
Glenn: Was your husband a client?
Soccer Mom: No, but when we first met he knew I was a hooker. My husband's family has also known from the start; my husband's cousin's boyfriend knew of me and let the family know. Funny thing is, nobody seemed to mind at all, except for the cousin. About five years into my marriage, she took me aside at a Thanksgiving gathering and apologized to me for 'judging you and being a bit*h to you for all those years.' I told her I understood she was only protecting her cousin, that there were no hard feelings, and then we hugged for a really long time and cried. It was the nicest hug I ever gave or received in my lifetime.
And most of my friends know because they knew me back then. And the friends I've made since I got married eventually find out when they ask personal questions, as friends do.
My eldest son also knows and when the other two are older I'm going to tell them that when I was young, I made some choices that I want them to be aware of and hear from me, not from anyone else. I will tell them that I sold my body for money to support myself financially when I was 18 until age 23 or so. I will then listen to their questions, answer any of their questions, hug them and reassure them that it is something that happened in my past that I just felt they should be aware of and know from me, and then I will continue to be their mom.