Best Thread The Arcade Traders "Pit Stories" Thread

got to say - & surprised no one else mentioned this.......


but the hours of endless fun from the simpler things in liffe......

namely a water pistol hidden in the bun.....

hahahahaha - YOUVE PISHED YOUR PANTS (if your aim was good!)
 
Frenchy Comes To Town!!

i remember a young french chap coming to work on the floor as a runner towards the end....(must have been due to an eu directive or something)

he was quite a dapper young man and obviously had a bigger interest in fashion and his hair-do than the floor. gelled hair, bleached & spiky, luminous shirts etc - very david beckham.

he was so quiffed that i think some traders mistook him for a chick - or a sheer nonce. you decide.

his employment record at liffe went like this.....

day 1:
arrived to work with hair done to the max, best clobber etc. a bit over friendly trying to make new buddies in his new career. looking quite feminine, he attracted the attention of some traders who started to blow kisses, and get his attention with various 'yooo-hooo's ' etc.

he was a little embarrassed, but hey, hes so sharp looking, they are obviously admiring his sense of fashion in that ironic british way right?

day 2:
arrived back at work. a little more dressed down today, but still very 'cute'.
the kisses and attention continued. he manages to attract even more attention and now the surrounding pits are starting to notice of the nkotb. boy o boy! more kisses and other signs of affection.

he started to get a bit frustrated. whats wrong? dont these brits understand fashion?


day 3:
still it continues. he is now visibly upset.

by early afternoon he snaps. he starts to cry!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! proof he is a big girl after all.

day 4:
there was no day 4. he never came back.

:eek:


:LOL: :LOL: :cheesy:

lol - hes probably reading this!!! hahahaha YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE PUFFTER BOY!!
 
anyone forgotten about tony blair coming down to liffe and being greeted with the chant
"tony blair is a homosexual" ?
 
:LOL: that must have been hilarious!? :LOL: do you think he could hear what was being chanted? what was the reaction?
 
he would have had to have been deaf not to
the whole floor was chanting it !
headlines next day
"blair jeered by city traders"
 
also the old fave
sending a work experience kid up to boots to get a prescription for a trader
little johnny hands envelope to old bag at the pharmacy who proceeds to open it
inside is a sheet of paper upon which is written i huge black letters

"can you help me i have a shaved gerbil stuck up my a*se"

:eek:
 
hehe, I noticed in that report that they didnt specifically quote the homosexual chants in the media coverage, but watered it down to a more P.C. "traders jeered and booed" :LOL:
 
the blairs

wey hey forgot about that one.........

mind u i did (stupidly) know a couple of liffe rogues who had to hire his missus to get them off a fsa / liffe ban for the minor indiscretion of front running paper for about, ohhh, 3 years.......

they were guilty as sin and dear old cherie had no problem whatsoever defending them altho im sure the 10k a day fee helped her swallow everything the boys fed her....luckily, the liffe werent so gullible and banned them.

so, whenever i hear about tony proclaiming his innocence with wmd, iraq, nhs, fack the list is endless, just so he knows....

TONY BLAIR, YOU AND YOUR MISSUS ARE BORN LIARS WITH ZERO SCRUPLES WHO WOULD DEFEND POL POT FOR CASH

ho hum
 
Last edited:
Have a good laugh for now, because Bambi and his buddy Prudence have long memories and will want their revenge !!
 
charliechan said:
shouting


B E A V E R !

at the top of our voices when ever a cute bit of skirt walked by was always fun.

cant say more or i will get banned for bad language, offending minorities etc etc

And yet, bizarrely, some members of the general public seem to form the impression that dealers were obnoxious, immature d!ckheads!
 
zzaxx99 said:
And yet, bizarrely, some members of the general public seem to form the impression that dealers were obnoxious, immature d!ckheads!

yeah - but when you are in an environment that sometimes gives the opportunity to make several thousand pounds in 10 minutes or there abouts, you start to realise that what other people think of you is pointless. it often comes from jealousy. after all, these 'funny people' from outside have often worked under this dumb belief that success comes from qualifications and working all the hours under the sun to 'please the boss' and other rat race stuff. talk about a wasted life! whos the d!ckhead now?

life is too short.

lift up your skirt, grab your balls AND MAKE SOME MONEY!!! - oh - and have some fun!!

yours,

captain sensible.
 
  • Like
Reactions: BSD
"yeah - but when you are in an environment that sometimes gives the opportunity to make several thousand pounds in 10 minutes or there abouts, you start to realise that what other people think of you is pointless. it often comes from jealousy. after all, these 'funny people' from outside have often worked under this dumb belief that success comes from qualifications and working all the hours under the sun to 'please the boss' and other rat race stuff. talk about a wasted life! whos the d!ckhead now?

life is too short.

lift up your skirt, grab your balls AND MAKE SOME MONEY!!! - oh - and have some fun!!

yours,

captain sensible."



absolutley spot on!
 
Neil norman was his name .
His typical morning chat would be along the lines of "Morning Mate!..........well thats enough about you ,lets talk about me..............!!

Priceless .Although I would also say he was harmless and helped pass the day easily enough.
 
sorry to hear about nuttys heart condition .............i also hope he makes a full recovery.
 
tsuntzu said:
Yes, sadly, I recently heard he had a mild heart attack but seems to be well and truly on the mend now.

tell me about it. anything to do with todays durable goods number?
 
Top