Relationship with money

[CJIA]

I'm interested to know how to improve my relationship with money.
I have found that i give back profits after reaching certain levels.
Self -sabotage creeps in to my mind and i find that discipline becomes hard and i fail to follow my Trading Rules.
I build up a nice money tree but find myself having to rebuild very frequently,i seem to get very frustrated by this then re focus and climb again.
I have identified that i have a sub -conscious need to give money away when i reach certain level and that i equate this with a certain self image problem with acquiring money.
I also understand that it could be that i see money as a threat to my present self acceptance.
I would be interested to hear from individuals who have encountered similar problems and how the resolved this inner conflict.
To combat this for a period i have set up an account for my spouse and trade small amounts on her behalf and this seems to help.
I have heard that some traders struggle with trading there own money and find it easier to trade other peoples money.
Can one make a transition to trade ones own money?.
Many thanks
CJIA

 

[chump]

Only by making a massive effort to impose my discipline am I able to resist the urge to make the obvious reply to ........"I have identified that i have a sub -conscious need to give money away "

You will not find your answer here is the short answer

If it is a serious problem take it to someone who is able to give it serious & professional consideration ...or if you want a DIY approach...stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself some questions...either approach will get you further than looking for help here.

I could make the obvious points that earning money in the market has little ,or no moral consideration attached to it ,but what you do with that money of course does ,so perhaps you should concentrate on the latter and find more constructive ways to use the money as arguably giving it back is not particularly constructive except to the faceless nonenity on the other side of the trade.

 

[barjon]

cj

Is it "self sabotage" or a more cavalier attitude because you've "got money to play with"?

I often find it quite easy to take a dodgy trade because I've just made a few bob and if the trade goes belly-up I'll still be on the plus side overall, so I'd sympathise with the latter.

One way of dealing with that is to remove your profits from your trading account regularly and stick them somewhere where they are not "yours" anymore (wife's savings account for example) and difficult to get at. 'Course that doesn't help much if you are trying to grow a mighty oak from a small sapling :cheesy:

good trading

jon

 

[CJIA]

re

Thanks for the replies.

You will not find your answer here is the short answer

.

Probably not but no harm in asking.

I could make the obvious points that earning money in the market has little ,or no moral consideration attached to it ,but what you do with that money of course does ,so perhaps you should concentrate on the latter and find more constructive ways to use the money as arguably giving it back is not particularly constructive except to the faceless nonenity on the other side of the trade.

This is good point on my original question i'll give it some thought.

Is it "self sabotage" or a more cavalier attitude because you've "got money to play with"?

I can identify with both at times.

One way of dealing with that is to remove your profits from your trading account regularly and stick them somewhere where they are not "yours" anymore (wife's savings account for example) and difficult to get at. 'Course that doesn't help much if you are trying to grow a mighty oak from a small sapling

This is what i'm learning that certain boundaries have to be met,it took me a long time to accept that this was an issue in my Trading.

I'm still hopeful that i will find a solution,i've received some interesting Pm's to help me.
Thank you all.
Good Trading

 

[charliechan]

cjia - some ideas for when you hit that level/glass ceiling:

stop trading for the day/week to get at ease with your account equity - acceptance.
paper trade through the ceiling
reduce your size.
use tighter stops
etc... as you can probably see, the idea is to reduce the exposure totally or to some degree because you know you are likely to lose at this equity level. paper trading through the ceiling could be the best answer as it will show you have the ability to get through it and then you will see you do have the ability to get through it, and it is just your psych that is stopping you. you already know this, but it may help you see it from a fresh level.

i wouldnt start going down this poisonous route of deep introspection. trading psychology can be important, but if we dwell on it too much i believe it can make matters worse not better. the more you focus on these negative issues, the more they are likely to come to reality. focus on the positives - your ability to get the account up.

hope that helps.

 

[CJIA]

cjia - some ideas for when you hit that level/glass ceiling:

stop trading for the day/week to get at ease with your account equity - acceptance.
paper trade through the ceiling
reduce your size.
use tighter stops
etc... as you can probably see, the idea is to reduce the exposure totally or to some degree because you know you are likely to lose at this equity level. paper trading through the ceiling could be the best answer as it will show you have the ability to get through it and then you will see you do have the ability to get through it, and it is just your psych that is stopping you. you already know this, but it may help you see it from a fresh level.

i wouldnt start going down this poisonous route of deep introspection. trading psychology can be important, but if we dwell on it too much i believe it can make matters worse not better. the more you focus on these negative issues, the more they are likely to come to reality. focus on the positives - your ability to get the account up.

hope that helps.

I like the suggestion of paper trading through the my apparent ceiling ,i'll give it a shot when i'm up there again.
As i mentioned i'm not trading my account at this moment,trying to get a different perspective on the mechanics of my mind.

Yes it's a tough path digging into the Dark,but my curiosity gets the better of me.

My main objective is to find out why a part of me objects to attaining money and also to get to a mindset that i can disengage any emotional triggers caused whith money.

Thank you for reply.

 

[charliechan]

well i guess the text book answer is to try and think of the money in terms of points rather than cash. i guess this is why they always say trade with money you can afford to lose - kind of distancing yourself from the monetary element. easier said than done i know.

my guess will be that it isnt a self-worth issue, but you are getting too confident when you get the account back up there. you see you are back on the roll and its easy street after a string of profits, so you start to get slack. i think someone suggested this earlier (chump?). either that, or what you are in fact seeing is that your methods work, but only under some market conditions like when the market is trending. when it goes sideways, you are using the same methods perhaps? so, what you are seeing may not be some psycho issue but just the cyclical nature of the market changes reflected in your equity curve???

one reason im not a big fan of over indulgent psycho stuff - you cant control the market, only yourself, so after a string of losses from trades that were in fact executed perfectly, some people get depressed and start doubting themselves and take it personally. not a healthy scenario.

 

[CJIA]

well i guess the text book answer is to try and think of the money in terms of points rather than cash. i guess this is why they always say trade with money you can afford to lose - kind of distancing yourself from the monetary element. easier said than done i know.

my guess will be that it isnt a self-worth issue, but you are getting too confident when you get the account back up there. you see you are back on the roll and its easy street after a string of profits, so you start to get slack. i think someone suggested this earlier (chump?). either that, or what you are in fact seeing is that your methods work, but only under some market conditions like when the market is trending. when it goes sideways, you are using the same methods perhaps? so, what you are seeing may not be some psycho issue but just the cyclical nature of the market changes reflected in your equity curve???

one reason im not a big fan of over indulgent psycho stuff - you cant control the market, only yourself, so after a string of losses from trades that were in fact executed perfectly, some people get depressed and start doubting themselves and take it personally. not a healthy scenario.

Thanks for your input Charliechan.

 

[Charlton]

Let go, positive affirmations and be kind to yourself

I'm interested to know how to improve my relationship with money.
I have found that i give back profits after reaching certain levels.
Self -sabotage creeps in to my mind and i find that discipline becomes hard and i fail to follow my Trading Rules.
I build up a nice money tree but find myself having to rebuild very frequently,i seem to get very frustrated by this then re focus and climb again.
I have identified that i have a sub -conscious need to give money away when i reach certain level and that i equate this with a certain self image problem with acquiring money.
I also understand that it could be that i see money as a threat to my present self acceptance.
I would be interested to hear from individuals who have encountered similar problems and how the resolved this inner conflict.
To combat this for a period i have set up an account for my spouse and trade small amounts on her behalf and this seems to help.
I have heard that some traders struggle with trading there own money and find it easier to trade other peoples money.
Can one make a transition to trade ones own money?.
Many thanks
CJIA

CIJA

Get a book on positive affirmations.

Love and accept yourself first. In an aircraft when they describe emergency procedures have you noted how they always recommend to adults that they put their OWN oxygen mask on first, before that of their children. WHY?

Tell yourself that the world is a world of abundance and this is rightfully yours

You OWE it to yourself.

You have used your skills, experience and hard work to earn it. You have risked many things to earn it.

You are disciplined and always follow your trading rules.

You need to nurture your trading tree - feed it, care for it. Imagine it blossoming and bearing fruit.

Good luck

Charlton