Mr Dickhead USA

Reminds me of the book I wrote- Rags to riches trading the Dow a 1p per point.... I died before I got to ten quid. :(
 
I like the services provided by the "moderator"... here's a few


* Image Creation
This is primarily geared for the lurker who has finally mustered up enough courage to submit his/her make-or-break first post. Initial impressions are critical and will determine whether he is accepted (albeit with newbie status) into the fold or shot down in flames. Even worse, he could be ignored and suffer the ignominious fate of entering the "One-Post-Thread Hall of Shame".

*Surrogate Posting
As a newer member, have you ever tried inquiring about broker X or platform Y? Instead of helpful replies, you are immediately branded a spammer and hounded from the thread with your question still unanswered. Avoid this unnecessary molestation by channeling your queries through one of my many longstanding and respectable aliases.

* Preventive Maintenance
Is your thread or journal continually besieged by hordes of critics, stalkers and other undesirables. As an initial step, I will review the possible source of these attacks and suggest appropriate changes to the post content and philosophy. Failing that, I will fend off these savages by using specially refined and not so refined techniques I have developed.

* Image Enhancement II
The spellchecker won't catch your incorrect and embarrassing use of "loose", "their", "weather" and other homonyms which immediately brand you as uneducated at best, and a lazy slob at worst. Let my proofreading keep up your good image - after all, what else do you have on a message board?

* P&L Statements
The moment of truth has arrived - after taunting everyone with countless posts about 23 ES point days and living la vida loca, someone actually has the gall to ask to see a snapshot of your daily P&L. Your many attempts at evasion just increase the mob hysteria and soon some are even demanding monthly statements. The only way to salvage your credibility is to respect the wishes of your skeptical readers and post one of my custom made .gifs - you choose the broker, the instrument(s), the time period, the bottom line and I will provide you with a .gif whose authenticity would pass the scrutiny of a team of forensic accountants. :cheesy:
 
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