Just to redress the balance of my clearly sexist views..... :cheesy:
I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I've never figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I've never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.............
And, I've never yet figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
Anyway, one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed and just as the passion starts to heat up, she comes off with "Sorry. I just don't feel like it right now. I just want you to hold me" .
I said, "WHAT!!!!?"
Then she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She says that I'm just not in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "Did I miss something here? What was her first clue?" I finally realised that nothing was going to happen, so I went off to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around while my wife tried on three very expensive, top notch outfits. She looked the biz in each one and so sexy. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I said "go on, take all three".
Then she said that she wanted some matching shoes worth £200 each, to which I said "OK, I can handle it." - well Visa can anyway. We then went to the Jewellery Dept where she got herself a full set of diamond earrings with matching necklace. Eureka! I'd found it, the way to a woman's heart. She was so excited, she must have thought I was one brick short of a load!, but she was too happy to care.
Maybe she was just testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. Even so, she nearly had a heart attack because I said yes to that as well!
She was obviously aroused by all this and her face just beamed when I said, "Right, let's go to the till." I could hardly contain myself when we went to the checkout and I said, "Sorry. I just don't feel like buying this stuff right now."
You should have seen her face then. It went completely blank. Fuming...Then I said, "I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And to top it all, I added . . . "You're just not in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
Now that's what I call sweet revenge. :cheesy:
I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I've never figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I've never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.............
And, I've never yet figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".
Anyway, one evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed and just as the passion starts to heat up, she comes off with "Sorry. I just don't feel like it right now. I just want you to hold me" .
I said, "WHAT!!!!?"
Then she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She says that I'm just not in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "Did I miss something here? What was her first clue?" I finally realised that nothing was going to happen, so I went off to sleep.
The very next day we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around while my wife tried on three very expensive, top notch outfits. She looked the biz in each one and so sexy. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I said "go on, take all three".
Then she said that she wanted some matching shoes worth £200 each, to which I said "OK, I can handle it." - well Visa can anyway. We then went to the Jewellery Dept where she got herself a full set of diamond earrings with matching necklace. Eureka! I'd found it, the way to a woman's heart. She was so excited, she must have thought I was one brick short of a load!, but she was too happy to care.
Maybe she was just testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. Even so, she nearly had a heart attack because I said yes to that as well!
She was obviously aroused by all this and her face just beamed when I said, "Right, let's go to the till." I could hardly contain myself when we went to the checkout and I said, "Sorry. I just don't feel like buying this stuff right now."
You should have seen her face then. It went completely blank. Fuming...Then I said, "I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And to top it all, I added . . . "You're just not in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
Now that's what I call sweet revenge. :cheesy: