He is not afraid to stand up against monopolies, tyranny, etc. etc.
He is not afraid to move into established markets and fight dirty for a piece of the pie.
His latest project is a case in point - developing alternative jet fuels using nothing other than plant waste - 100% environmentally friendly
. And it worked too! Priceless!
Recording made from a Virgin Atlantic business development meeting....
CFO: "Dicky, the price of oil is really costing us a fortune. Add to that emmissions, we are really struggling"
RB: "How can we get aeroplane fuel cheaper?"
CFO: "Well, without taking centre stage on the geo-politial front, we can't. It's happening to BA, AA, all the other legacy brands. We need to find an alternative. A cheap alternative"
RB: "So, what is there an abundance of that we can get cheap?"
CFO: "Compost and sh!t"
RB: "Can we make aeroplane fuel out of it?"
CFO: "Yes"
RB: "But... how can we convince our customers that our planes won't fall out of the sky?"
CFO: "Well, we have been struggling with that. Our marketing team has been on it for months, with little success"
RB: "GOT IT! We'll tell all our customers we're
really doing it for the environment! We'll get their unwanted compost for cheap, turn it into airline fuel, and put it in our planes. They love all that save the planet stuff, they'll think we're doing it out of the goodness of our hearts. I've got floppy hair for christ' sake, they'll believe
me! Then the
really clever bit is that we won't reduce the cost of our tickets - we will charge the customer a little bit less than the competition! I'll - ahem!- I mean
we'll save a fortune on fuel costs and emmission taxes, but not pass any of that down the line. And we'll look like f*cking saints; make it happen.
CFO: "But what about the safety aspect?"
RB: "Bugger it! Look, we'll make such a hoo-haa about it being environmentally friendly, we can convince the customer that it is flying on those BA fellows' planes that is
unsafe, because of all this global warming crap. If we do it well enough, we can make them feel
guilty for not flying on
our planes! It is their duty! Virgin Environment we'll call it, flying green for the first time, and all they have to do is write me a cheque. If we are
really clever, we could probably charge them a premium! Those gullible idiots - our customers - pay
us to take
their compost, turn it into fuel so we can save squillions on oil, then make them feel like
they're doing something for the
environment, when it is all really cost cutting! It doesn't matter what the product or service is like, it's the
marketing - people still get on my bloody trains, don't they?!
CFO: Brilliant. No wonder you are so filthy, filthy rich!
RB: "Yes, I am - maybe people will think I am
clean and rich after this, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Marketing Team?"
Marketing team: (in unison) "Yes?"
RB: You're fired!
I too admire Sir Richard Branson, but for the reasons outlined above.
