Asymmetric Heightism

[Pat Riley]

I took me little nephew to one of these mega-fun places over the weekend. You know, slides, ball ponds, rope walks and such. They have a neat little metric for judging suitability for each of the adventure opportunities in the shape of a vertical gauge. If you're smaller than the minimum line you can't use the thingy, whatever it is. What they don't feckin have is a maximum line which if you're taller than that, you shouldn't use it.

How hard can a kids tunnel slide chute be? I'll tell ya. I got slide burn on both me elbows and three cracked vertebrae from the landin. I thought I'd take it easy from there on and just walk (socks only - no shoes) on the rope grid walks. Mega-fun? More like mega-feckin-torture! If that rope gets you on your instep, you're buggered. Precise ball of foot and heel or you look like an ISIL video gone wrong, writhing and screamin like a girlie I was. Jaysus - never again. Me nephew had a right old time though and mostly laughin at my expense so all square on balance.

 

[jotekfinance]

I have been to those type of places. You have to be careful, at some time after the age of 6 years old we stop being made of plastic and become more brittle I had some cracked ribs from a place like that once.

 

[Pat Riley]

I had some cracked ribs from a place like that once.

Yeah, know what you mean. I had the chicken wrap with Caribbean salsa and me SO had the Jurassic burger with hot chilli relish and volcanic sauce. People on the table next to me had hard shell crabs with antediluvian spice cladding and next to them had Mexican spares with jalepno sauce and pant pooping fahijatas. It's an accident waitin to happen.