Your favourite quote.

ONly monkeys pick bottoms.

Does anyone know the opposite statement for picking tops?
 
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw

Pretty apt considering all of the conversations going on at the moment...
 
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again,and expecting a different result each time" It's not me... I dont know who said it.
 
It's not what you do - it's the way that you do it ( a song from way back )

Ask not what your world can do for you BUT what can you do for your world (JFK nearly )
 
Del Boy's trading/business quotes

Del Boy: I see ICI dropped a point.
Rodney: Yeah. Chelsea dropped three on Saturday


Rodney: [to Del] You were declared bankrupt. You have been banned from running any company from sitting on any boards or dealing with any shares. They don't even want you past the Stock Exchange on a bike! And you owe the Inland Revenue over £50,000.

Del Boy: Don't worry, Rodney. This time next year, we'll be millionaires!
Rodney: This time last WEEK we were millionaires!


Del Boy: He who dares Rodney, he who dares.

Mike Fisher: [Del and Rodney are trying to sell Mike a computer] What exactly does that mean?
Del Boy: Well it means you can... you can... tell him what it means, Rodney.
[to Mike]
Del Boy: He's taken a course in this, he came top of his class.
Rodney: Well, in 'layman's' terms it means you can, em, well, you er, you can record all your business deals.
Mike Fisher: I spend half my life trying to hide my business deals. So the last thing I want is to have 'em all recorded on a floppy bloody disc! I'm not interested. Ask Trigger.
Rodney: Trigger? With a computer? Do me a favour, he's still struggling with light switches!


Del Boy: Oh, no, Raquel. You must never lose sight of your dream! When I was 18, I decided I was gonna be a millionaire by the time I was 21.
Raquel Turner: Really?
Del Boy: Yep... and when I was 21, I said I'd be a millionaire by the time I was 30... and when I was 30...
[referring to the biscuits]
Del Boy: Fancy a Jammy-Dodger?


Rodney: [after getting his old job back at Trotters Independent Traders] What will be my title?
Del Boy: We'll call you Lord Rodney!
Rodney: I meant company title!


Charlton
 
DELL BOY & RODNEY

.........VS

SOCRATES & ZUPCON in the cafe

They don't talk in public much, but SOCRATES & ZUPCON decided to talk about the rule book in a public cafe, called the Rockefleer Cafe. They new nobody would understand what they had to say, because the public did not know of such things

It went somthing like this SOCRATES & ZUPCON in the cafe

SOCRATES Morning!

ZUPCON Morning.. we are Painters and decorators

SOCRATES Shut up ZUPCON be quiet, will you.

Waitress: Morning!

SOCRATES Well, what've you got for us today?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

ZUPCON (starting to chant) Spam spam spam spam...

Waitress: ... spam egg and spam; baked beans

ZUPCON (singing) Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

SOCRATES Will you control youself ZUPCON I know we dont' get out much but please, we are in a public place.

SOCRATS Waitress can I ask, what is the chef special for today

Waitress: ...chef special you can have Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle paté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

SOCRATES Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

SOCRATES I don't want ANY spam!?

Waitress: You can have egg bacon spam and sausage?

SOCRATES: THAT'S got spam in it!

ZUPCON Spam spam spam spam

SOCRATES: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghhhhhhhh!

SOCRATES What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

ZUPCON Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!

ZUPCON Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! ZUPCON Bloody Painters and decorators You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

SOCRATES I DON'T LIKE SPAM!

Waitress, DON'T SHOUT AT ME!!

SOCRATES Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam beaked beans and spam!

ZUPCON (singing) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off by the way.

SOCRATES: Well could I have extra egg instead of the baked beans then?

SOCRATES I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing about spam, now women get on with it.

SOCRATES, we will not sit down at this cafe again ZUPCON, next time we eat in the park as tramps

SOCRATES, now ZUPCON you know I know nothing except the fact of my ignoranc, so do tell me about that rule book of yours...ZUPCON The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!
 
Last edited:
I'm having trouble believing this DB quote. Is it for real or some tabloid fib?

I'm stunned. :-0


I've seen the video footage :eek: :!:

To be fair to the lad, it would be an easy mistake to make. Afterall, why should a football kicking kid from inner city London know that the word christened directly refers to Christianity?
I bet many "educated" people have failed to recognise the relationship between these two words (including me at first ;) ).
 
Last edited:
"No amount of observations of white swans can allow the inference that all swans are white, but the observation of a single black swan is sufficient to refute that conclusion."

(Taleb/Popper/Hume)
 
Not too sure if this belongs in quotes or jokes

Anyway, this gave me a little chuckle. A member of T2W suggested that I read "Trading for a Living" by Elder Alexander. I was rather amused by his comments on black boxes under the "Computerised Technical Analysis" section, my page 118.

Trading with a black box is like having sex using a penile implant -- you may deceive your partner for a while, but you will never deceive yourself.
 
interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled

“My time is eternity”

“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?...”

God answered...

“That they get bored with childhood. They rush to grow up and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they will never die, and die as if they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for awhile


And then I asked...

“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

God replied with a smile

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and it takes many years to heal them.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that there are persons who love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others. But that they must forgive themselves.”


"Thanks you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else

“And to learn that I am here always here for you!.”
 
“What surprises you most about humankind?...”

An omniscient god could hardly be surprised by his creations' idiosyncrasies as he would presumably have seen them coming.

The owners of the 'theinterviewwithgod' web site clearly take a similar view of their clients, disguising their hard-nosed business with the sugar of sentimental nonsense sprinkled liberally over the cereal of false concern for others. A calculated cynical ploy that nearly always works, unlike that awful simile.

Here we can see this idea encapsulated perfectly in pictorial form.

mwceo.jpg


He is of course the founder. One imagines a single handshake could provide enough oil to heat chump's mansion for a week.

"Our mission is to make a positive contribution to the well-being of our world, and to be a major and measurable force for good on the World Wide Web, by creating experiences of inspiration that warm the heart and touch the soul."

Nothing to do with selling their range of "inspiring gifts" or investment opportunities then. Of course not. "Our shareholders enjoy the opportunity to help bless the lives of millions of people world wide, and also receive a nice return on their investment upon exit". LOL ... the power of compound ignorance. I only wish CarKeyBoi was here to give his opinion.

Ah, it's the quote thread, sorry:

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Good ole Douglas Adams
 
Last edited:
Top