What price for a Bonk ?

[tomorton]

You need to watch Eddie Murphy stand up. He put it all rather nicely. Or find the reply to that women who advertised for a guy from Wall Street.

Basically, they both say that there are plus points and minus points to dating vs marriage. If you get married, you can liken it to buying a house. If you just date them, you are just renting. Both cost money, but in different ways. Regarding price for a bonk. Let's work it out.

Let's say you get married at 30 and die at 80. So 50 years of married bliss.
Let's say you will do it once a month on average over those 50 years. So for 50 quid a pop, that's 384,000 quid. From this it could be suggested that if you have only minimal assets, you might as well get married as you will save money but if your assets are greater than 1mill say. Carry on paying for top quality pousy.

Once a month? Once a month? You 're a machine!!!

 

[tomorton]

As the world seems to equate everything to mere money I thought I might pose this question

What price for a bonk

It's really what one spends on a girl minus what she pays

Does £50 sound about right ?

Applies to married men too !!

Of course, if you really want a figure you should be consulting punternet.

 

[wackypete2]

I once thought it would be cheaper to buy a blow-up doll. I got a nice oriental one, named Lai Mei. Bad news though, I bit her nipple too hard and she flew out the window....god, I miss her.

Peter

 

[Ambrose Ackroyd]

Should be no more than the price of a pint.

 

[jimbo22]

I once thought it would be cheaper to buy a blow-up doll. I got a nice oriental one, named Lai Mei. Bad news though, I bit her nipple too hard and she flew out the window....god, I miss her.

Peter

He he....Reminds me of the time when I bought a blow up doll, advertised as being truely life like.

Little did I know, the postman ripped the parcel trying to get her through the letterbox...when he discovered the content, he thought "aye aye, don't mind if I do"....
blew her up and gave her one...after the t..t had had his way, he deflated and re- wrapped her up tight and posted her.

A week later, a Rep from Lifelike Dolls Ltd, rang me to ask, was I satisfied that the doll (who I called Mildred) was truely life like.....

I replied " I'll say, she gave me a f.....g Dose"

 

[donaldduke]

Let's say you will do it once a month on average over those 50 years. So for 50 quid a pop, that's 384,000 quid.

Your maths is way off.. you would have to do it 3 times a week to make it be worth 384K over 50 years.
It may be worth going at it faster in the early years just in case you cant manage that rate in the later years, otherwise you wont get your money's worth.

 

[Pat494]

Perhaps one should state in a pre-nuptial agreement she gets £50 a bonk before expenses

 

[Pat494]

Still hot at 45

 

[Ambrose Ackroyd]

Should be no more than the price of a pint.

Having had a re-think on this issue I now believe that, in terms of value received, the price of a bonk more or less equates to the combined price of :-

1. 5 pints of beer

2. Two packs of prawn cocktail crisps

3. A fried stoat in batter, and

4. A penguin on a stick


However , if said bonkee is a dog, then a bonk is worthless and should cost less than the price of a gallon of warm camel's or hound's p!ss.

 

[wackypete2]

Does anyone know of a bonk-based CFD I can trade?

Peter

 

[N Rothschild]

Out here, a lunchtime blow job can be had for 700 Baht - that's just under 15 quid at todays exchange rates.

A hand job in a massage parlour - 500 - 1000 Baht 'tip'
A shag off a regular bargirl can be had for about 1000-2500 depending on the parameters & how long you want her to stay - if all night etc...
A shag in a soapy is about 1,700-3,500 - depending on where you go. A top of the line 'model' stunner at Poseidon will knock you back 6-7,000 Baht. This does include being soaped & THOROUGHLY washed in a huge bath with said stunner(s) as well as a soapy 'body slide' on a soaped up air mattress.

It's a good job I have friends who partake of these services, otherwise I wouldn't know and be able to share it with you.

how much did your wife set you back?

 

[scose-no-doubt]

Food & board probably.

 

[DionysusToast]

how much did your wife set you back?

Excellent quip !

First time I've heard it too !

Have you considered going on stage with that routine ?

All this from the man who can't get a woman, even with a Ferarri

 

[N Rothschild]

i thought i didnt have a ferrari acording to you? your not very good at this game are you..

and i cant get a girl? thats rich coming from the man who cudnt land a girl in his own country and had to move to thailand and pay a thai whore to marry him

 

[Ambrose Ackroyd]

Ouch !!!

 

[mitchy39]

A great reply D70, how analyticaly put....lol

 

[Ambrose Ackroyd]

and i cant get a girl? thats rich coming from the man who cudnt land a girl in his own country and had to move to thailand and pay a thai whore to marry him

If we extrapolate this statement, are we then to assume that every bloke who marries a woman from outside his own country is a useless w*nker and that all these foreign wives are fully paid up whores ?

I only ask because I know of many useless w*n*ker guys who have married women from inside their own country who are fully paid up whores. You only have to look at Premier League footballers for a start.

 

[DionysusToast]

i thought i didnt have a ferrari acording to you? your not very good at this game are you..

and i cant get a girl? thats rich coming from the man who cudnt land a girl in his own country and had to move to thailand and pay a thai whore to marry him

Actually - the wife came free.

A bonus prize I got out of the blue for being your mothers millionth punter !

I'd rather presumed she'd explained by now why you had so many 'uncles' when you were growing up...

 

[DionysusToast]

If we extrapolate this statement, are we then to assume that every bloke who marries a woman from outside his own country is a useless w*nker and that all these foreign wives are fully paid up whores ?

It's a fairly common presumption and it's not unusual amongst people who's window to the world is the News Of The World. Then again, "man meets girl in office and they have a family" wouldn't exactly make the tabloids, would it?

There are a lot of guys who come to Asia for the women, there's also a lot of expats sent here to run companies taking advantage of the reasonably cheap labour force and expanding Asian markets. You can't sell into Asia from the US.

I've lived in Tennessee, Breda, Copenhagen, Tokyo and Bangkok & had a local girlfriend in each place. In Asia, we call them "LHDs" or "Long Haired Dictionaries" - getting a local girlfriend means you get to know all the good places and don't end up in all the tourist traps or victim to the local scams. You pay local prices and get to experience the culture like a local. This will do until you figure out where all the Irish pubs are. Just ensure her parents are at least a 2 hour drive from where you are living and you are sorted.

Whilst it's a bit daunting to leave your home country alone, it is much better than dragging a chick along with you.