Trading is ruining my life

[Tubbs]

Since I found the Stock Market my life has taken a strange turn.

My life used to have direction and purpose. I can't blame my loss of direction on trading as much as this Government and its slow ruining of the county I loved, gradually taken away any little opportunity we once had. But I have strived to find the answer of the market. This has left me with very little else - and I still have no definite answers to the market.

My true dilemma is that I really only want to trade for a living. But is this a reality I can achieve? At the moment obviously no. But it has had extreme psychological implications for me as it has become my ambition. More worryingly I think an ambition I will not achieve.

Anyone else think the same?

 

[hungvir]

Hi Tubbs,

You can count me in your boat. Not that my life has been ruined, but it's not the same. I only trade with what I can afford to lose, so it's been fine so far.

I do believe that we can make money from the market but it just take time, money, energy,... I still have my day job to support myself and my family financially and trading for a living is still a long term goal for me.

I wish you all the best!

Hung

 

[Trader333]

It is always a worrying sign when anyone wants to put all their eggs into one basket as you are suggesting that you are in this case. No amount of encouragement from others will alter this and as such it may be wise to seek other opportunities and put trading on a back burner until you dont feel that it is the only option for you.


Paul

 

[JTrader]

Hi Tubbs

Perhaps I've found myself in a similar situation, at a similar age to you, whereby you have put a lot of time and effort into something and have yet to get the rewards.

Trading is a never ending puzzle, with no certainties and lots of anxiety and doubt attached to it. When it comes down to it, you put your finances at the mercy of flashing numbers on a screen over which you have no control. You may enter a trade expecting the market to go one way, and then see it go in the complete opposite direction on a consistent basis. This begs the questions - are any entries better than random?

I think the important thing is to develop a work life balance, whereas for many twentysomethings, in whatever field, this can be hard.

With trading my only goal is to pay the bills at the end of the day and to develop a nice little nest egg so that I can have some control over my future. But I cannot control financial markets..........

I have not ahcieved my goal as yet, as I'm sure is the case with many on T2W. But I consider myself to be in a position to be able to. But then because I don't have any control over the markets, but rather at the mercy of the markets, i still consider trading something of a white knuckle ride.

But then I reckon that I probably know a lot more about financial markets, than lots of people perhaps, who have already made some/their money from trading, by finding an approach that works, sticking with it and not asking so many questions!!!!!!1

At the end of the day, money can't buy you happiness, whereas I could be happy and living on peanuts, if doing something i like, with people i like, in a place that i like. But then I am a fairly simple country boy .

Look at Roman Abromovich for example, multi-billionaire, yet he is no different to me and you - just as vulnerable, probably with as many insecurities as me, - and he is also a mere mortal at the end of the day. Alan sugar seems a miserable sod.

So i think if things start to get on top of a person, its often a good idea to take a step back, ease the pressure, and assess things from there. As "the seven year old surgeon" was advised to do on channel 5 the other night"

I want balance in my life. But there is a fine line between keen interest and obsession. But then, in order to achieve things you have to make sacrifices, its just if you make sacrifices and then don't achieve at the end of the day, that hurts. A bit like the Olympic athelete who trains for 4 years, then gets disqualified, or misses the Olympics due to a last minute injury.

I look at it this way, throughout my time learning all about trading, and practising trading. I have also used my time to learn about many other things, develop as a person in different ways, work in full-time employment, study, and meet interesting people all at the same time. And its kept me out of "trouble", and I'm alive and healthy! Although I've regularly questioned what the hell I'm playing at!

Keep your chin up whatever you decide, and don't worry, be happy............

Cheers
jtrader.

 

[PurplePerson]

blame, blame

Since I found the Stock Market my life has taken a strange turn.

My life used to have direction and purpose. I can't blame my loss of direction on trading as much as this Government and its slow ruining of the county I loved, gradually taken away any little opportunity we once had. But I have strived to find the answer of the market. This has left me with very little else - and I still have no definite answers to the market.

My true dilemma is that I really only want to trade for a living. But is this a reality I can achieve? At the moment obviously no. But it has had extreme psychological implications for me as it has become my ambition. More worryingly I think an ambition I will not achieve.

Anyone else think the same?

Jeeez, man!

So it's the government's fault? Nay lad - it's your fault. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you are likely to address it. As long as you can place the blame elsewhere (the government.. the state of the world... the decline of something or other..) the less likely you are to sort yourself out and find a happy life balance. Self pity is never the solution.

The people who are doing well at trading for a living, and leading a happy fulfilled life at the same time, are doing it in the same country with the same government.

If you can't sort yerself out on your own, go visit a professional who can. That's what they're there for

Maybe I'm just lucky at being able to growl and curse at setbacks

 

[OpenMind]

You need to prepare well and then execute. If you haven't written down a trading plan, paper traded until you make consistent money on paper and then traded on small sizes until you are consistently profitable, you will obviously suffer from extreme emotions, like you are now. You have high expectations of the end goal but you haven't tested your method of arriving at that goal. So you have no faith or confidence in your method and you are jumping from one method to the other.

Why hurry? Take all your time and test and paper trade. As DBPhoenix succintly put it, the market isn't going anywhere. You obviously have hurried the process. Has it gotten you anywhere? Change the process.

Take it easy and take it slow. It's a process of self-discovery. That doesn't happen overnight. As you go through it, you will learn an immense amount about yourself. Are you able to embrace the risk? Are you a mechanical person or is your personality more suited to discretionary methods? Have you understood the golden rule of expectancy? Have you relaised how position size affects your performance, have you actually experienced it? Maybe you are taking huge risks without realising and are uncomfortable deep down. The list is endless.

There are other more mundane issues. Do you have a record of every trade you took. Do you read them now and what do they tell you? Maybe the cost of commission, slippage, overnight financing is killing you. Have you calculated the monthly costs? Maybe the market is choppy and you are using your trend following method without filters. Maybe your method is sound but the market conditions have changed and your methods need tweaking. May be you are trading strongly correlated markets at a bad time. Who knows?

Remember, trading success, like success in life is not a destination. It's a journey. You've only just begun.

 

[JTrader]

If you did decide to take a break from trading, or stop trading altogether, there is no shame. At least you have had a goal, tried to achieve it, then decided that you perhaps don't see it happening and could use your energies more prosductively elsewhere. Or, you can always recommence later from where you left off.........

There are a lot worse situations to be in - eg. prison, ill health, heavy drug user etc.!

Remeber, spring has only just begun, don't let things get you down!

PS. Do you like my avatar?

Cheers
jtrader.

 

[hungvir]

Jeeez, man!

So it's the government's fault? Nay lad - it's your fault. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you are likely to address it. As long as you can place the blame elsewhere (the government.. the state of the world... the decline of something or other..) the less likely you are to sort yourself out and find a happy life balance. Self pity is never the solution.

The people who are doing well at trading for a living, and leading a happy fulfilled life at the same time, are doing it in the same country with the same government.

If you can't sort yerself out on your own, go visit a professional who can. That's what they're there for

Maybe I'm just lucky at being able to growl and curse at setbacks

H PurplePerson,

Did you milk Tubbs Who took all Tubbs' money

 

[hungvir]

...
PS. Do you like my avatar?

Cheers
jtrader.

I like it. But pls tell me why I should continue to like it

 

[Tubbs]

Thanks chaps for the replies - I know it's a bit self pittying. PurplePerson - my blaming is not related to trading but the job market I find myself in. I have always found myself quite a difficult person to employ despite my qualifications. I do blame the government for this - either of them - for pushing University to the point where it becomes pointless. This is a separate issue and I probably shouldn't have raised it. There is no place here for such talk.

In terms of trading I appreciate the reassuring words. My problem with trading is coming to terms with the fact that you can 'work' every hour god sends but actually not be any more effective in the markets than just luck. By that I am not implying the markets are random.

It is a work in progress, obviously. To expand on my earlier post I am having problems with my career and look to trading to take me out of the problem. I don't really think this is the solution as I constantly look at prop trading firms but asses the risk as far too great and do not trust them. Not wishing to offend further people. I agree not to put my eggs in one basket. I guess I just like trading and it's a drag to think I may fail at it.

Psychologically I think it is something we all face at some point or another. If anyone has any career advice for a two year engineering grad who hates engineering then I'd like to hear it.

 

[JTrader]

Psychologically I think it is something we all face at some point or another. If anyone has any career advice for a two year engineering grad who hates engineering then I'd like to hear it.

If you could be doing anything tomorrow or on Monday morning, what would it be? And is this a realistic dream? If not, whats the next best situation?
Answers on a post card...

 

[hungvir]

... If anyone has any career advice for a two year engineering grad who hates engineering then I'd like to hear it.

If you're that tired of this government, then move! Go to the Far East and teach English. And you can carry on trading from there without the need to get up early

 

[JTrader]

And you can carry on trading from there without the need to get up early

You don't need to get up early to trade from the UK if you trade forex or the US.

 

[hungvir]

You don't need to get up early to trade from the UK if you trade forex or the US.

Ah, that's new to me. I mean forex and US shares. I do trade the DOW though.

 

[JTrader]

Hi Tubbs

ps. I don't rally like the sound of being a mechanical engineer either, as it sounds like an awful lot of hard work, but i can see why trading would appeal to someone with a mathematical and problem solving mind.

 

[hungvir]

If anyone has any career advice for a two year engineering grad who hates engineering then I'd like to hear it.

On a serious note, you can buy returned mechanical goods and sell it on eBay. I used to buy load of stuff (they arrived in pallets and the truck was so big that it could not get to where my house was) that people return at 25 per cent of the cost and sell them on eBay for about 50 per cent or even 100 more. Of course about 30-50 per cent of the goods are damaged. But with your knowledge, you can fix some of them and reduce it to under 30 per cent.

If you like the idea, google returned goods or something similar. I stopped doing this so long ago that I can't remember the names of the wholesalers.

 

[Tubbs]

I intend to move. I have lived in other countries before and I certainly will again. We have a society of 'why do you deserve that' attitudes, which is not actually true of other places. As for teaching English - well that's what I used to do! In Rome.

If I could do anything I guess it would be watching the markets, maybe not trading though. I would like a bit of travelling. I guess my dream job would be cricket commentator though.

 

[JTrader]

I like it. But pls tell me why I should continue to like it

Just think "Back To The Future" Dr Emmett Brown .

 

[Tubbs]

Engineering in this country is a dying thing anyway - at Uni, admittedly in London, we all wanted to do consultancy or banking. Our society just doesn't make you want to do it. When was the last cool thing you saw on the box about engineering, as opposed to other careers?

 

[hungvir]

I... I guess my dream job would be cricket commentator though.

Then join the BBC as an engineer and move up from there