I think leeson just went through what everyone experiences, the fact that he was focused on recovering loses, trying to make back the loss, i think it was an intial 20k loss that a colleague of his generated through trading, he was trying to make it back, he also seemed to frequently think the markets too low, it has to go back up, this was when the nikkei was free falling from 18000. we have all probably had thoughts along those lines, except he was playing with bigger numbers so it seems more dramtic, he was fearing exposing the situation because he feared that he would blow away the illusion to everyone (pressure of other peoples expectations and beliefs about who nick was) everyone thought he was a superstar , his bosses saying how easy it was to make money in the markets, but Nick lacked the strength to stand up in a crowd of 100 and say actually thats not the way it is, he feared the crowd gasping in disbelief and then calling him a loser etc, fraud... and i wouldn't be surprised if he got the cancer through that period of great mental emotional turmoil, he was young he was just going through what everyone else in trading gets exposed to.
I wish him well and would just say to him , nick dont worry you just took a 650 million loss on that trade, learn from it.
he was just a young man, doing what a lot of young men would do, thats what it is to be human.
the world leaders all bang on about making profits , how many of those are made without some kind of fraudulent activity, exploitation of third world workers etc. how many companys in the states have set up production in mexico, just to pay peanuts to the locals so they get a better bottom line..
"let he or she who is without sin cast the first stone"
jd