Best Thread Joke of the day

darktone said:
Ten f**kin years! Hilarious!

:eek:
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So you've seen them all come, and go? There were some exciting times I suspect based on some of the old threads to which I've been directed.

How much time would you estimate you've spent on this site in those 10 years? Assuming you weren't trading profitably at that time (big assumption) at what point after joining did your trading turnaround? How long were you on ADVFN and why did you leave there?
 
GumRai said:
Your humour is lost on me :|
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Dont worry, its takes an exceptionally warped sense of british humour! Youre not missing out on much trust me!

Atilla said:
What was your crime?
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Not sure, but it musta up there with murder! :eek:

Purple Brain said:
So you've seen them all come, and go? There were some exciting times I suspect based on some of the old threads to which I've been directed.

How much time would you estimate you've spent on this site in those 10 years? Assuming you weren't trading profitably at that time (big assumption) at what point after joining did your trading turnaround? How long were you on ADVFN and why did you leave there?
Click to expand...
I guess ive seen a few folks come and go here. I remember getting into it with a few to, the no indicators thread comes to mind. Defo recall some exciting times posting up charts / debating direction etc, in the days when i thought i knew a thing or two. Bracketing the NFPR with 4 point stops was fun, when the brokers were offering guaranteed fills, 100 point+ gaps were the norm back then, thought id found my niche! Funny!
No idea how much time ive logged but it must be a 'months' number. Cant really say when i became profitable, as was a bit of a chequered trip.Id say ive had my current view (serious view i suppose you could call it) on trading for around the last 3 or so years, but ive been in the black the last 6 or so years. Slow learner!
I guess i was on advfn for a couple o years, again thinking i knew something. Came over here for a bit of a change, was more talk about forex too, which i was
interested in at the time.

Getting of topic here. ill have to find a joke!
 
All that reminiscing nearly bought a tear to my eye, I have 18 months left on my 10 year sentence.
Lets see if this can bring tears to your eyes in a better way.

Bill Clinton started jogging near his home in Chappaqua. But on each run he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner, day after day. With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would cry out from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days.
He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!"
And he'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog! As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He realized he should have a darn good explanation for the Secretary of State. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there was the hooker!
Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled...
See what you get for five bucks!?"
 
There was this man in the desert. He had been walking for days with no food or drink. He had nearly passed out in the heat when a camel and rider come by. Help he gasps have you got any water ?
I can't give you any water the man says. But I can sell you a tie. A tie ! I need water, I am dying of thirst you idiot.
He crawls on through the blistering heat.He was really at his last gasp when on breasting a high sand dune he sees a plush hotel.
He gathers the last of his strength and staggers into the hotel. Water he yells ,I must have water.
The chief clerk says, I'm sorry sir but I can't let you in without...a tie !!
 
Pat494 said:
There was this man in the desert. He had been walking for days with no food or drink. He had nearly passed out in the heat when a camel and rider come by. Help he gasps have you got any water ?
I can't give you any water the man says. But I can sell you a tie. A tie ! I need water, I am dying of thirst you idiot.
He crawls on through the blistering heat.He was really at his last gasp when on breasting a high sand dune he sees a plush hotel.
He gathers the last of his strength and staggers into the hotel. Water he yells ,I must have water.
The chief clerk says, I'm sorry sir but I can't let you in without...a tie !!
Click to expand...

What is the moral of that story then??? :rolleyes:
 
Pat494 said:
It's often the little things in life that count
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I think I know what you mean. A lil like those 3 kinds of people: ones who can count and the other ones who can’t.

The ones that can count are the ones who really really count!

Ones who can't count don't really count at all and they shouldn't be given the vote either. So no tie no count and no vote.

I get it now :smart:
 
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, “what are those good smelling flowers called again?” “Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned. “Yes that’s it,” he exclaimed. Looking over at his wife he said, “Rose what’s that restaurant we went to the other night?”…
 
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