Best Thread Joke of the day

Golfer at the Dentist
A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office. The man said to the
dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out
in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I
don’t have time for the gums to get numb.
I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM
tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already
I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’
The dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this is surely a very brave
man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain.”
So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it sir?”
The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth Honey, and show him.”
 
What happened to my martial arts joke?

Profanity or racism?

Or drink aware?

Or any one of many issues that may offend the various, quite specific and multiple sensibilities of any of those very few able to censor these threads without any apparent need to consider or take recourse to what is acceptable for the majority on the basis that their own personal beliefs, morals and levels of acceptable discourse and behaviour are held by all others, and if not, should be?

And if any of you come back with anything to do with transgressing site guidelines then I have a list longer than you care to consider tackling of posts that need nanny-state remediation with immediate effect. Be selective with your own posts.
 
Last edited:
Martial Arts (V2) - Sanitised

I'm standing at the Christian and Muslim and Jewish and All Religions and non-Religions Alliance for World Peace Tea Bar and this person (whose gender is now an unnecessary distraction and potentially sexist) of average size and who is multi-culturally racially merged is standing by the side of me, which in no way denotes any class distinction of any kind.

So I asked this person, "do you know any non-regional specific techniques for self-defence?..."

They replied, "Why did you ask me that.. Is it because I'm of average size and I am multi-culturally racially merged and my gender is completely irrelevant to this joke as it is in all legislated democracies?"

I said, "no it's because of a potential misunderstanding with regard to the appropriation of refreshments and the assumed ownership thereof, but you go ahead anyway. Peace my brother/sister"




edit;(Perhaps this is what joseff does to all his jokes…..?)
 
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Martial Arts

It's OK, it's OK. It's been explained to me.

A couple of people found the original joke offensive. They complained. It was pulled.

For the 243,998 people that didn't find it offensive, your ability as an adult to decide for yourselves has been overriden by the democratic process of t2w where it apparently only takes two people to dictate what the rest of the 244,000 strong community get to see.
 
Re: Martial Arts (V2) - Sanitised

TheBramble said:
I'm standing at the Christian and Muslim and Jewish and All Religions and non-Religions Alliance for World Peace Tea Bar and this person (whose gender is now an unnecessary distraction and potentially sexist) of average size and who is multi-culturally racially merged is standing by the side of me, which in no way denotes any class distinction of any kind.

So I asked this person, "do you know any non-regional specific techniques for self-defence?..."

They replied, "Why did you ask me that.. Is it because I'm of average size and I am multi-culturally racially merged and my gender is completely irrelevant to this joke as it is in all legislated democracies?"

I said, "no it's because of a potential misunderstanding with regard to the appropriation of refreshments and the assumed ownership thereof, but you go ahead anyway. Peace my brother/sister"




edit;(Perhaps this is what joseff does to all his jokes…..?)
Click to expand...


That's so deep man my head hurts.

Reminder: This is the jokes thread. ;)
 
Re: Martial Arts (V2) - Sanitised

wackypete2 said:
If I knew what that meant I might be offended.

Peter
Click to expand...

Very funny indeed. I'm thinking along these lines...

multi-culturally racially merged

Who's ya daddy?

and

Who's ya daddy's daddy?

and

Who cares anyway?

and

Even more so on an internet blog - when no one knows who is who what where anyway.

If anybody is upset about such things I think they should find a nice smokin volcano about to blow it's top and jump right in! :smart:




Doctor doctor am I being insensitive towards my fellow man? :-0

Oh just take these pills and sod off will you! :cheesy:



Addenda: Last two lines are applied to me not you Pete...
 
Re: Martial Arts (V2) - Sanitised

Atilla said:
Very funny indeed. I'm thinking along these lines...

multi-culturally racially merged

Who's ya daddy?

and

Who's ya daddy's daddy?

and

Who cares anyway?

and

Even more so on an internet blog - when no one knows who is who what where anyway.

If anybody is upset about such things I think they should find a nice smokin volcano about to blow it's top and jump right in! :smart:




Doctor doctor am I being insensitive towards my fellow man? :-0

Oh just take these pills and sod off will you! :cheesy:



Addenda: Last two lines are applied to me not you Pete...
Click to expand...

Thanks for clearing that up. I was about to ask to see your broker statements :whistling

Peter
 
Re: Martial Arts (V2) - Sanitised

TheBramble said:
I'm standing at the Christian and Muslim and Jewish and All Religions and non-Religions Alliance for World Peace Tea Bar and this person (whose gender is now an unnecessary distraction and potentially sexist) of average size and who is multi-culturally racially merged is standing by the side of me, which in no way denotes any class distinction of any kind.

So I asked this person, "do you know any non-regional specific techniques for self-defence?..."

They replied, "Why did you ask me that.. Is it because I'm of average size and I am multi-culturally racially merged and my gender is completely irrelevant to this joke as it is in all legislated democracies?"

I said, "no it's because of a potential misunderstanding with regard to the appropriation of refreshments and the assumed ownership thereof, but you go ahead anyway. Peace my brother/sister"




edit;(Perhaps this is what joseff does to all his jokes…..?)
Click to expand...

Didn't know you frequented Labour Party conferences....
 
172c2540d2a4012e2f9100163e41dd5b
 
Man 1: My son is not listening to anything I say.
Man 2: Is he so adamnant?
Man 1: No, he is deaf.
 
A teacher, a doctor and an investment banker die and are in heaven.

God asks the teacher why he should be let into heaven, and the teacher explains to God that he taught small children how to read and write. God says, "Welcome to heaven, my son."

God then asks the doctor what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. "I saved people's lives by curing their illnesses," the doctor replies. "Welcome to heaven, my son," God says.

God then turns to the investment banker. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that as an investment banker, he helped banks package their subprime mortgages into highly marketable CDOs. "Welcome to heaven, my son," says God, "but you have to leave in two days."
 
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