my journal 2

This is a discussion on my journal 2 within the Trading Journals forums, part of the Reception category; Much food for thought in your message, so yes, thanks for posting here one of your precious messages. Regarding the ...

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Old Jun 21, 2010, 5:10pm   #916
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Much food for thought in your message, so yes, thanks for posting here one of your precious messages.

Regarding the lady, she probably doesn't look as good as her voice sounds sexy, but I'd do her, just for her voice.

Regarding dolls we must mention a movie... SPOILER ALERT (ignore next to lines if you don't want to ruin a good movie):



http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...-the-Real-Girl

Regarding my trading instead, yes, I got a lot out of this journal, so thanks to trade2win and to all of you, but I am not leaving either. I am just stating that I am getting tired of writing. So I may write less, something like one post a day in the future.

What did I get:

1) I learned I've got problems with discretionary trading and I've learned (by writing it over and over again) pretty much what they are. In short: I can't lose, I take it badly, I lose control, I over-leverage, I bet everything on one trade, I blow out the account eventually. Beware: i can't lose even if the trade originated from the systems and it was entirely automated. I still will feel the urge to make the money back, and that chain of events will follow.

2) I have improved my automated trading thanks to advice from readers.

3) I received business propositions (or proposals?) from readers (I can't name anyone, since it's private).

4) I proposed to a couple of readers, and one accepted, and we're doing stuff together right now (I can't say more than this for privacy purposes), and maybe this will get me out of my vicious circle, which so far has been:
1) little capital leads to taking losses personally, and then engage in revenge trading, and blowing out my account.
2) little capital leads to urge to increase it, which leads to discretionary trading, which leads to blowing out my account.
3) little capital leads to having no life, which leads to being home bored, which leads to discretionary trading, which leads to blowing out my account.

5) I've received much benefit from thinking out loud here, in terms of making myself focus on things. Writing helps me do that, but it's hard for me to write unless others read me as well (at least one person has to read what I write besides me). Writing in front of others makes me think better. So does explaining things to others, when they ask me questions. That's why I like your questions.

In summary, if your purpose is to become good at something, there are only advantages in writing a journal here. If your purpose is to have fun, then of course it might be a waste of time, and you're better off going out and "partying" and all that crap which I rarely do. Actually my final purpose is to do just that, but first I need to make money, and to do that, first I need to become good at something.
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Old Jun 21, 2010, 6:58pm   #917
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread This is really good - hilarious so far (ten minutes):
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...for-Scoundrels
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Old Jun 21, 2010, 9:20pm   #918
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread More on The Story of English. Episode 3 is just as interesting:

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Old Jun 22, 2010, 4:30am   #919
 
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goddamn, can't sleep...

Yamato started this thread Can't sleep, as usual. I wrote a few things on another blog, but it's not enough. I drank half a bottle of wine but it's not enough. Last night I took melatonin, but of course it wasn't enough. So here I am, to complain and vent out my frustrations, brainstorming style.

My eyes hurt. There's some fan in the kitchen or it's the elevator, something is making a constant noise, like an engine... keeping me awake or waking me up in the middle of the night. I am tired but I can't sleep.

**** work. **** my dad. **** them all. **** the ****ing diaz brothers.

I woke up and thought immediately "I've got to rent a room at a hotel near my office". But how much is that going to cost me? And then I thought, wow, only 3000 dollars a month. I make what, 1500 dollars, so that should be enough to cover... nothing. I need to make money with trading then, that's the only way out. An easier way out would be to quit my job and move to the island. But I can't because my parents would condemn that choice, and the house on the island is not mine but theirs.

So I need to keep the job, to please my parents. Yet what is keeping me up is the job. What is keeping me in rome is the job. And it's the job that's been making me unprofitable all these years, because it puts so much pressure on me. Yeah, because in order to quit the job I need half a million dollars at least - that's what the general consensus is. But I am so far from making it that I rush things, and then blow out my account.

1) Job = unhappiness, insomnia
2) unhappiness = pressure to get out
3) pressure = overtrading, overleveraging
4) overtrading, overleveraging = blowing out account
5) blowing out account = another year at my job
6) another year at my job = more unhappiness
7) more unhappiness = more pressure to get out
8) ... more blowing out...
9) final result: never quitting my job

Godfather, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do...

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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 22, 2010 at 4:38am.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 4:32am   #920
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re: my journal 2

no im not gonna take % profits from you. I am not a seller period!! I'm just trying to help. we can discuss this whenever u comfortable no rush i'm not forcing anyone.

I think having more money & be able to control ur losses will help ur psychology.I also take out money from my trading account each week but not too much that it will disrupt my strategy.that's help my pscyhology.
Most people keep their money in their trading account and then gave it back to market. so the way I deal w/it is to take some of my profits in a consistent manner as if i trade for a living


Quote:
Originally Posted by travis View Post
Tommason, I will reply as I read.

Yes, that's what I am doing - I am using the best of my 40 systems right now. All my systems daytrade or at the most do trades that last 2 days, but never swing trading, because no systems are looking for a swing.

That's not the help I was asking for (I meant psychological help), but if you want to give me your strategies we need to discuss some important problems first.

If I'll use your techniques it means I will develop trading systems on them, and I must stress out immediately before we get started on this, that I could give you those automated systems (for IB, on excel) - but I cannot give you a percentage of profits, because I'd be tied to you for my whole life, and I don't like that idea. Also, I don't like the idea that I cannot work on an idea on my own, just because someone mentioned it to me: so if that's case, we cannot start discussing your strategies.

However, for now it cannot be done anyway, because I have my hands full. I have another 20 systems to back-test and automate, which I will do as soon as I am in the right state of mind, as it's a very heavy type of work. Furthermore, I am not good at automating all sorts of strategies, so yours might be too hard to automate for me, from what you are telling me.

Congratulations on your capital compounding achievement. I envy you. If I had 42k I would have quit my job already. I'd be investing it in all of my systems together, and I'd be making about 50% a month without doing anything.

Unfortunately, each time I had about 30k, I got emotional and blew it. I came across a loss, tried to make it back and it didn't work, and... blew out my account, to make a long story short.

Recently I had borrowed 10k from my bank, and after a month I blew that, too. Then, despite having the 10k loan to pay back in 5 years, I went in the red and wired another 1k to my account (I was below the required future margin), but for once I got lucky and now I have a few thousands, so maybe I can catch up and breathe again. Otherwise I'd be screwed.

If I do well, I could be back on my feet in a few months. I just need 2 more good months where I double my capital. Nowadays I am mostly trading my systems, without any discretionary interference. Occasionally though I have to say that I closed a trade or two early, because they were making a lot of money and I couldn't afford to risk losing that money.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 5:01am   #921
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Hey, if you are offering help, I am willing to accept your help in any shape or form: wire or paypal, I can give you my banking details, just let me know.

As far as strategies, I told you what the problem is: I have 20 systems cooking, and I'll be done with them in a few months. I can't have too much stuff cooking at once or it will be a mess. My philosophy is to do a few things very as well as possible, rather than a lot not so well. I am very good at focusing and doing things one at a time.

One of the reasons I've kept this journal, subconsciously, is to hear business propositions, and it worked in that way, too. So I am not going to discourage any business propositions from you. If you want to give me help for free, so much the better.

Only one thing. If you're offering me help with discretionary trading, I don't know if I am interested. Others have offered to teach me discretionary trading in the past, and the only consequence has been that they caused me more discretionary losses, not because they weren't good teachers but because I am not a good student. So let's stay away from that field. On the other hand, I could hear your strategies, back-test them, and automate them.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 5:20am   #922
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re: my journal 2

hahah good one buddy, but im still making up my losses for past 2 year.
Im offering you a help that I can do, not what i cannot do. furthermore, getting money and blowing it all up again is not a solution.

i understand you're busy and want to get back on ur feet. so take your time as I said.
I am not offering you to trade discretionary but quantify my discretionary into automated one in a hope that it would help you. It would not help me because I dont use the same platform as you do. but ill be happy if you could benefit from it.
I wont let you do discretionary and keep losing.

I am myself do not believe in backtesting. I dont like curve fitted testing. I only believe in forward testing in real market. most seller out there they would give u hypothetical bull**** not a real broker statement. furthermore most system would need to be tweaked every period. it's just too complicated for me.


Quote:
Originally Posted by travis View Post
Hey, if you are offering help, I am willing to accept your help in any shape or form: wire or paypal, I can give you my banking details, just let me know.

As far as strategies, I told you what the problem is: I have 20 systems cooking, and I'll be done with them in a few months. I can't have too much stuff cooking at once or it will be a mess. My philosophy is to do a few things very as well as possible, rather than a lot not so well. I am very good at focusing and doing things one at a time.

One of the reasons I've kept this journal, subconsciously, is to hear business propositions, and it worked in that way, too. So I am not going to discourage any business propositions from you. If you want to give me help for free, so much the better.

Only one thing. If you're offering me help with discretionary trading, I don't know if I am interested. Others have offered to teach me discretionary trading in the past, and the only consequence has been that they caused me more discretionary losses, not because they weren't good teachers but because I am not a good student. So let's stay away from that field. On the other hand, I could hear your strategies, back-test them, and automate them.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 5:48am   #923
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Yeah, I like back-testing instead. I totally trust it. Thanks for the help offer. I will see you online.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 4:38pm   #924
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Ok, I actually went to work today, even got there earlier than 11 AM. The manager is very very nice to me. He hasn't threatened to fire me or report me for my screwed up schedule. I just text messaged him and told him that I didn't sleep and would be late. Then he kept me a bit longer tonight. Quite a nice deal.

The goddamn problem is that I can't fix my insomnia. Eventually the wine did help. Half a bottle, holy cow. Tonight I might have to drink the other half, in case I wake up at 3 AM like last night. Goddamn.

I wish I could deal with some mobster who'd put me in charge of his money and investing it, like Meyer Lansky. That way I wouldn't have to go to the office. But then I might get killed if one day I decide to quit investing his money.



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Old Jun 22, 2010, 5:39pm   #925
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread I haven't posted music videos in a long time.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonino_Carotone
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 5:53pm   #926
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Yesterday I watched this and it was good:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...for-Scoundrels

I advise you to watch it.

Now I'll watch another one of Jon Heder's movies. He's good at picking good comedy films to star in. This Heder guy is a mormon. Did you know that? Anyway, he's good:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/?actor=11820

As I said previously, another actor I consider good at picking movies to act in is this guy:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/?actor=106

Dax Shepard.

They have in common that they act in comedies, they're not very famous, but they are good and act in good movies, even if those movies are not very famous. But actually usually these comedies are better than the famous ones. Of course I am excluding the masterpieces with Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell (and all the other SNL people), Jim Carrey, and so on.
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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 22, 2010 at 6:01pm.
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Old Jun 22, 2010, 7:12pm   #927
 
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re: my journal 2

Yamato started this thread Ok, i am watching this and it seems quite good so far:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/watch-...st-Like-Heaven

It really feels like the director and screenwriter knew what they were doing.

It's good. It's a very complex, scary and risky topic, but this amazing director has made it worth watching:
http://www.letmewatchthis.com/?&director=Mark Waters

Much better than a crappy movie like meet joe black or ghost.

Anyway, I was looking for who wrote the screenplay, and found this guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marc_Levy

He's from Boulogne, where I lived for a year when i was a student. But I forgot how Billancourt is pronounced, and finally I found this awesome web site, forvo.com, which lists the pronounciation for a bunch of words and languages, so I must share this precious link with the readers and at once remind myself of it in case my favorites get screwed up (I've got too many, over 5000 favorites):

http://www.forvo.com/word/boulogne-billancourt/

Just finished the movie. Not a masterpiece, but... righteous!
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Old Jun 23, 2010, 5:08pm   #928
 
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more on the Story of English

Yamato started this thread This stuff is just amazing... check out this video on:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangier,_Virginia




This is fascinating stuff. These people kept the same accent they had when their ancestors arrived here centuries ago.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America...sh_differences

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhotic_...rhotic_accents

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Old Jun 23, 2010, 8:09pm   #929
 
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daily complaining

Yamato started this thread There was a period in my life, as a student, when I was quite depressed, or rather: idle. I could sleep during the day without any problems. Now I am frustrated but having to go to work keeps me alive and frustrated. I don't know how to describe it exactly: I can't let myself go because I have to go to work, but I would much rather be depressed and be able to sleep all day long once I am home at least, rather than being stressed out and frustrated as I am now. I guess having to work doesn't allow people to get depressed. I guess getting depressed is a luxury of people who don't have to work for a living.

The mother ****ing child who has moved in the aparment next to mine wakes me up every morning at 3 AM. Then her mom comes and sings to him or says something stupid, like child talk. I thought - when my cousin told me a similar situation - that it was funny and that no one could get mad at a mom talking or even yelling at her child, but as I experience it, I feel like killing both the mom and the child.

I can't sleep, I don't enjoy my work, I don't appreciate my colleagues, nor my parents... I guess I've never had such a negative outlook on life as now. It seems permanent. All day long I feel like complaining. But the biggest question I keep asking myself is: why do I have to keep on working? How on earth did I get stuck doing this crappy job with these crappy colleagues? I don't like it at all. Why do I have to keep on going there? An intelligent person like me, with all the connections, the culture, the hard work... why... how can it be?

I guess the cause is the same for both good things and bad things in my life. The same negativity that runs in my family (my dad, and me) is what at once caused perfectionism and many qualities and achievements. Or rather: it's perfectionism which caused everything: perfect achievements and negativity for every situation which is not perfect. And this is what screwed me. I can't sleep because of the anxiety this attitude produces, I can't appreciate people because no one is perfect enough... I cannot accept any situation which is not perfect and where I am not perfect. I cannot play any sports at which I am not the best... I cannot go for any woman who will not accept me immediately. I cannot live basically.

It's like obsessive-compulsive people. Typically they're very clean, as they're cleaning their house all the time. But they never enjoy the product of their own work. There's really no point in being one of them. And there's no point in being like me. I didn't plan my life to be like this. I didn't choose my parents. It just happened. It didn't begin like this. It began a little better. There were some good things. But overall it sucked. And mostly thanks to my dad, who ruined it.

I caught two diseases, one from him and one from my mom. Perfectionism from my dad: you can't be happy unless everything around you is perfect. And altruism from my very religious mom: you can't be happy unless everyone around you is happy (so it's your responsibility to help them be happy). So basically I have to work all the time to fulfill both requirements, and I can never be happy anyway. These diseases are deeply ingrained and you cannot really get rid of them. Unless you isolate yourself and stay away from the masses. That way you are only around perfect people and happy people. In those situations I am happy and relaxed, but they are extremely rare. I have had an easier time being happy when I was a different person, living overseas, and momentarily immune from my parents' illnesses.
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Last edited by Yamato; Jun 23, 2010 at 8:29pm.
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Old Jun 24, 2010, 9:08am   #930
 
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more on history, languages and so on

Yamato started this thread http://www.dmoz.org/Reference/Dictionaries/Etymology

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Lists_of_battles

This in particular is fascinating:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Roman_battles

You can see historical trends.

Also, a good one is here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byzantine_Empire

What happened to the Eastern Roman Empire? See above link.

Quote:
Although the empire had a multi-ethnic character during most of its history[7] and preserved Romano-Hellenistic traditions,[8] it was usually known to most of its western and northern contemporaries as the Empire of the Greeks[n 3] due to the increasing predominance of the Greek element.[9] The use of the term Empire of the Greeks (Latin: Imperium Graecorum) in the West to refer to the Eastern Roman Empire also implied a rejection of the empire's claim to be the Roman Empire.[10] The claims of the Eastern Roman Empire to Roman inheritance had been actively contested in the West at the time of the Roman Empress Irene of Athens, due to the coronation of Charlemagne as Holy Roman Emperor year 800, by Pope Leo III, who, needing help against enemies in Rome, saw the throne of the Roman Empire as vacant (lacking a male occupant). Whenever the Popes or the rulers of the West made use of the name Roman to refer to the eastern Roman Emperors, they preferred the term Imperator Romanię instead of Imperator Romanorum, a title that Westerners maintained applied only to Charlemagne and his successors.[11]

By contrast, in the Persian, Islamic, and Slavic worlds, the Empire's Roman identity was generally accepted. In the Islamic world it was known primarily as روم (Rūm "Rome").[12][13]

In modern historical atlases, the Empire is usually called the Eastern Roman Empire in maps depicting the empire during the period AD 395 to AD 610, after the new emperor Heraclius changed the official language from Latin to Greek (already the language known by the great majority of the population); in maps depicting the Empire after AD 610, the term Byzantine Empire usually appears.
You see, nations and peoples seem to be defeated but they keep on living and making history. If you look at the 1000 years of Roman battles, you see that the Romans defeated the Gauls, but centuries before that, you read:
Quote:
390 BC - Battle of Allia River - Gauls defeat the Romans, then sack Rome.
And centuries after that, they get their asses kicked by the descendants of the Gauls again. Same with the Greeks. They get conquered by the Romans, then a few hundred years later, the Romans get defeated by the "barbarians", and the Eastern Roman Empire lives on, but guess what - after just a century they switch back to Greek. You get conquered, a bunch of words enter your language, and viceversa, wait a few centuries, and you fight back and the opposite happens. At least this happened until recently. But look at the French in England, and how all their words entered the English dictionary:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign...ces_in_English

If you don't get exterminated, there's always a chance to come back. This chart below, with the foreign language influences in English, basically corresponds to the list of the peoples who conquered England.

Click the image to open in full size.
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