my journal 3

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Old Sep 12, 2012, 11:32pm   #1711
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread 564463_279867968793317_907483161_n.jpg

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Old Sep 13, 2012, 7:14am   #1712
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread can't sleep

position is making nothing at all

regret closing ng and zn

bad weather

7 am now

3 more days to go until they leave

they blew it big time, by disrespecting the maid

i'll keep avoiding these guys until the last day, keeping relationship as rare as my good manners allow me to

hopefully today i'll get back some of the 1000 lost yesterday, so i can keep running my systems

now i am in their hands, completely

no more discretionary trades

I entered after a drawdown, let's hope it doesn't keep on going down

had i kept on doing discretionary trading, i would have blown out my account anyway
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 11:14am   #1713
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread



great bob tuskin as usual
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 2:20pm   #1714
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread Oh, man, this silverstein was really lucky!

Read here:
561731_429088797128627_877750845_n.jpg
Silverstein Makes a Huge Profit off of the 9/11 Attacks

601585_280084978771616_1609931782_n.jpg

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Old Sep 13, 2012, 4:28pm   #1715
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread my journal: 86,546
my journal 2: 166,811
my journal 3: 46,181

total: 299,538

I am celebrating 300,000 views on my three journals.

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Old Sep 13, 2012, 5:05pm   #1716
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread minor confrontation with both guests:

guest 1) asked for the umpteenth time to use my computer, so I let him, but was growing quite resentful while he was using it because 1) i told him weeks before he left if he'd need to use any computer and if so to bring his own because i would not let him use mine. And 2) I am keeping all my stuff on this one and didn't want him to use it, just as i had told him already, but of course he forgot, as usual, he forgets what's comfortable to forget. So, all of a sudden, I said to him: "look, here there's a problem..." and basically ultimately i told him that if he had to use my computer, even in front of me, I'd turn on the keylogger to monitor him (!). It is an extreme step to tell someone you don't trust him, but this moron had been warned not to ever ask me to use my computer and he didn't remember it. This guy is another one on my black list: never again on vacation with him. Deep****, idiot, cocksucker...

guest 2) asked me some bull**** question via text messaging, and then when i replied normally, she asked if "by the way" i was upset for some reason, and i replied "well, I am used to being alone, as you know". And she said they could leave early if they bothered me so much (she does it all the time, this kind of extreme threat, as she knows you won't accept and say "sure, leave"). Then I replied that it wasn't necessary, and to simply leave me alone, that I would not bother them. They are both upstairs, I paid for it, renting it from my aunt, as I do every summer... paying my aunt to host my "friends", who, more or less, stop being my friends once I spend a few days with them.

So now... well, they both got the message more or less, because she certainly told him, being the bitch that she is.

So ok, only 2 more days to go, and now they know I want to be alone. Excellent. Just two more days of suffering.

Deep down, deep inside, subconsciously, I might have invited them precisely to make sure I never see them again. I guess somehow I invite on vacation people who like me a lot, because i want to get rid of them - especially if I do not hold them in my highest esteem. As if i said "hey, you really like me? come on vacation with me". So hopefully they'll have enough of me and leave me alone in the future. But it doesn't happen. Usually I get sick of them, but they don't get sick of me. At least not as much. But this time it might really happen, because there wasn't a very solid friendship, like with the other guys whom I knew from highschool. I might go back to inviting those guys, provided they allow me to stay alone by myself, and provided that they pay for housing. Basically I am inviting them to spend some time in the neighborhood without interacting too much with me, except for a couple of hours per day. And especially without asking me to use my laptop.

Ideal thing would be to tell them to go to a nearby hotel. "I am inviting over this summer, but you'll have to pay your stay at a hotel nearby".
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 8:22pm   #1717
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread now may be the time for my intervention, I can sense it's approaching

basically what happens is that all my friends get together (at the end of the school year or a vacation) to tell me that "i've got problems", usually of this nature: too antisocial, too self-centered and "you think too much".

I can tell these two have a desire to tell me something, but I think I will not give them a chance. I'll take advantage of the fact that they're together, and so each one can only get offended half, and cannot really take it too personally. Actually the more they think "i have problems", the less they should get offended.

The situation from my side instead is that I think they're just two more idiots on a long list I keep mentally.

Whether stupid or not, they're not worth my time, and I'm going to try to get rid of them. And if they stay my friends they're going to have to accept my terms. Precisely because i am so disappointed by them. They're going to be on a long list of disappointing friends who like me and whom I do not like, but I see nonetheless, for their enjoyment, but at least on my own terms. I don't trust these guys, or rather: I trust them to disappoint me.
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 8:25pm   #1718
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread still one more day of survival with the systems trading: some systems losses recovered

systems are breaking even so far, in these two days of trading
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 9:21pm   #1719
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 9:27pm   #1720
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread China getting ready to float GOLD BACKED currency, Banksters getting ready to soil their pants! Unlawful $ collapse now inevitable soon!!!!
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 9:58pm   #1721
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread http://i.imgur.com/aTi7B.jpg
ati7b.jpg

excellent work. got it from here:
School Sucks Podcast: The END of Public Education

and here:
Education Revolution, Education Evolution - Logical Fallacies Poster
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Old Sep 13, 2012, 10:40pm   #1722
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread excellent...

the two guys are upstairs, getting ready to come down and kill me

or maybe they sent love text messages

i haven't read them - afraid of being hurt by their insults

i just want to avoid them for the next day and a half, because then my mom will join us so they'll be easier to handle

we just weren't made to be together on vacation: they lie in the sun all day long, go to the restaurant all the time, she makes him pay, I don't get manipulated anymore by her... too many qualities that I don't have, don't have enough qualities to be of their group:

1) willingness to get skin cancer
2) willingness to give up on swimming and restoring my health after 11 months of work
3) willingness to be manipulated into paying for the lady
4) willingness to waste money at the restaurant to eat unhealthy food that i can eat for very little at home

damn... sucks

in the meanwhile, the systems have finally produced some real money: 1000 dollars of profit since i've started trading them: excellent!

...

dude, is it them or not?

someone came into my apartment just now... luckily i locked all doors leading to my room, so they were stuck in the living room.

i ain't answering text messages, ain't answering the door, ain't answering the window...

let them knock all they want

what's next?

what r they gonna do?

set the house on fire?

damn ****ers

if I can resist another few hours I'll be able to sleep and then tomorrow will be friday, so only 48 hours more of putting up with them

...

just now i was listening to "more" and before "desperado" and before "honesty".

I have no beef with "more". Honesty, I have none, because i'd have to tell them they are rude, disappointing, and worthless. I can't be honest, because that'd hurt them more. I'll just avoid them. Desperado is what I'm being right now, riding my fences and not getting any younger... leading a solitary life basically.

...

Because I feel that I am better. I am alone because I am not happy with how you are. You're not good enough for me. My relatives are better than all of you ****ing friends I made during my lifetime. You "friends"... just one of you seven or eight friends hosted during the summer... just one passed the test and was good enough to be invited with my enjoyment. All the other "friends" were accidents. Success rate of about 15%.
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Old Sep 14, 2012, 12:41am   #1723
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread I was just now walking on the beach, on the rocks, beautiful sky, big waves, storm, lightnings showing me the way... beautiful

I was talking to my aunt, badmouthing my two guests.

As I was talking I was walking away from the house so they wouldn't hear me from upstairs.

This dude kept sending me text messages, goddamn.

Like today, he was asking me for stock market prices. Several times, same yesterday and previous days.

And to think that i specifically asked him "will you need a computer there? because if you do, i won't lend you mine".

He's a total pain in the ass, polite but very insisting, plus you have to add that doubt that I mentioned, and how he might like me, so that bothers me slightly more.

Plus they've both been rude with my grandmother's maid, which happened on the first day - since then they're in my black list.

Which doesn't mean I will never see them again, because I always play it safe and never break relationships with anyone. Not because i count on using them or enjoying them in the future, but because I don't want their revenge for being kicked out of my life.

Anyway, i was walking away from the house and i realized that, for better and/or for worse, I have become a person on the run, on the run from my guests, as I am on the run from the boss, and on the run from all the people i despise.

That kind of throws them off guard, too. But I do it because I feel there is no talking or confronting someone whom I despise and consider stupid and who failed my exam.

There's no reasoning with stupid people.

And as I'm becoming more knowledgeable and intelligent, especially lately, with these conspiracy theories/facts - which means opening up my eyes as to the global reality surrounding me... as i've become more intelligent and knowledgeable, I've been increasing the percentage of people whom I avoid, walk away from, because they're like animals, and you don't talk to animals. It's like a barking dog. You don't try and talk to the barking dog. You totally ignore him. That's the way I've come to see a lot of humans.

These two guests have become dogs ever since they disrespected my maid, and more when they said that going to the restaurant is cheaper than grocery shopping (she said and he agreed), she is always nice but sides with whoever it's more convenient - in this case him because he pays for her.

Damn, so disappointing. Not just them, but humanity.

What's next...

Tomorrow: here's the plan.

One more day to avoid them effectively.

Hopefully they'll go on a long trip somewhere they were planning to go, on a boat - she suggested the idea of renting a boat - of course once again he'd be the one paying. Because I am against it, I won't be going, and she'll manipulate him into paying, the same way she had me pay 2000 euros for her on dinners, and a couple of days ago she had the nerve to say "did i ever ask you for anything?".

So here's the plan.

I sleep until 10 AM or even 11 AM (yeah, 'cause i am going to sleep late). Like today, she'll come to wake me up, even before that, to suggest something to do (in case they haven't gone on that trip).

Then, naturally, I'll get upset, but I won't tell her, but it'll make me strong. And, just like today, I'll tell her that I was sleeping, at which point she'll tell me what they're about to do, and I'll answer that I am tired and not interested.

Effortlessly, I will skip their morning activity. At about noon, while they're gone, I'll go swimming.

Then they'll come back, and I'll be swimming, so they'll leave again, and go to the restaurant. And the sucker will pay for her.

Then of course, all along, they'll send me all their text messages, with some questions, that sound either like insults or threats, such as "are you mad at me?" and "do you want me to leave?", in his case, "how did that stock perform?" and "i'm coming downstairs to use your laptop".

Tomorrow these messages might be something like "we left for this place, because we didn't want to bother you".

That might be something that happens. Maybe. Like a 25% chance I'd say. Yeah, 'cause I haven't been answering some of their text messages, so they might escalate things on their own. I am tired of being bombarded with sms.

...

almost 3 am, so that means i'll sleep until noon. good.

i've locked the entrance door, too, so they can't sneak in and knock on other doors inside the house.

so, all i've got to deal with is the afternoon.

they'll go to the restaurant, unless they want to pull something original, such as that they're worried and they stuck around to see what happened to me - i wouldn't be surprised.

anyway, what matters is that he doesn't get to my computer - to achieve this, i have to cut all contacts, or he'll ask me to use it, one way or another.

If i don't reply to his text messages, he's not going to break into the house and try to take my computer to use it without my consent.

So, ok, i sleep till they go to lunch, and then i go swimming and come several hours later. Or i just end up going swimming later on.

He must understand that I don't want him to use my computer. His next text message must be: "don't worry - i won't ask you to use your laptop". There's no covnersation otherwise. I am sick and tired of his text messages asking me for news from the stock market or asking me to use my laptop.

Tomorrow I might reach 10k. I went short on ZN again.

In order to stay up a bit longer I painted something on Microsoft Paint:

snap1.jpg

If there's something i can't stand is people disrespecting my maid, the bitch switching sides, and now i remembered that he said "bello" to me in a way that makes me fear for my ass.

I can't stand people being rude to my maid, nice to me because they're of my same sex and attracted to me (!) and I can't stand the bitch exploiting him for lunches, and people using my computer, and... they've got to go. I am done with these guys.

**** man. This thing really sucks.

This guy is a complete idiot and he's after me. I am afraid I have come across another person who likes men and is... he only came because he... is in love with me. Goddamn it. This really sucks.

He kept inviting me to his place, somewhere in the mountains and since I never would go, i said hey, why don't you come and you come with this other person (so i feel safe). So he came and he doesn't care about swimming, doesn't care about nothing here, so why did he come? For the same reason he told me that i am good looking: he's gay and he likes me in that way.

****ing idiot. Now this guy is powerful, he's got connections... i don't want to be killed by him in revenge so I can't just say, as i wouldn't say to anyone, "disappear from my life".

At the same time, now i've got this great excuse/reason that he used my computer against my will.

So, if i stay away from him, he might think that it's just about the computer, that I am obsessed about. Whereas it's also very much about "you're good-looking" and all that.

Let's try to turn the situation to my advantage.

Another good thing is that the lady is here. So you know, like the US government and its disinfo agents: he might think I am mad at her, at him using the computer, that i'm just a loner... so many things. Oh, man. What a disaster. I'd have been better off coming alone.

The good thing is that they distracted me. I had two friends around to make me feel like I am not alone. Yeah, i guess to some degree I am like everyone else, and i feel judged and pitied to come on vacation by myself. Furthermore they did distract me enough to keep me from overtrading, so i do owe them the money i made.

Ok, now it's 3 am, so i am guaranteed to sleep until noon.

Soon I'll close this post and go to sleep.

Ok, let's go over the plan again.

I wake up at noon. Change: if they knock I don't answer. They can worry all they want. I have the right to sleep as much as I want.

If they leave the place for good and go back to rome: great.

**** these guys.

I am not even going to see their faces tomorrow.

If necessary i'll stay up all night so that tomorrow I can't possibly see them.

Then saturday my parents join us, so it's a whole different story. And the markets are closed so i don't have to be bothered by him with his questions.

The point is I had told him that i would not let him borrow it. So there is a huge problem regarding computer as well as him being attracted to me. Damn, what a ridiculous uncomfortable situation. Now I understand how that girl must have felt when i pursued her and she didn't want me.

Yep. And it happened before. But you know what? If there's a so-so girl that wants you, you don't mind. You might not say yes, but you don't mind. But if you really dislike her or if she's actually a man, then that's when you feel harassed. So i felt harassed a couple of times.

Furthermore, if you feel harassed by someone who might be in the secret service or similar: then you definitely feel... very harassed.

I gotta find a way to be rid of this guy for good, and not get killed as a consequence. Kind of complex. If he wants to kill me, he can do it, no matter who he is.

She's a bitch, but he's the real problem.

He's not fun to be with. And the reason is obvious. He's not here to have an interesting conversation: he's here to have sex with me (!). Something like that. This is disgusting.

Good thing I placed them both in a different house, but that is still not far enough.

Damn, I can't believe, that having these doubts, I invited him on vacation.

I guess this is because he kept asking me to go on a trip with him, and i said what the ****, let's invite this guy on my trip because there's no way i'll go on his trip. Initially there was another guy supposed to be coming with us, but he didn't come. Then a third person, the bitch, invited herself, and so I seized the opportunity, because i didn't want to be alone with this guy.

I just keep repeating myself, i guess for people who haven't read the previous posts in part, and in part because I am really going over the same thoughts over and over again and I am sleepy, too.

The longer i sleep, the better.

In the meanwhile I am listening to alex jones. Also hearing the waves and the wind outside.

...

Ok, this is it: closing the post. It's 3.30, and I am guaranteed to sleep until noon. Hopefully until 1 pm. This way when I wake up they'll be long gone to the restaurant, tired of trying to wake me up... basically i'll wear them out by sleeping. Yeah, it sounds like a wasted vacation, but they're only here for my first week, and spending time with them is worse than spending it sleeping. Besides, I'll swim later, once they've gone to the restaurant. I can only swim so much per day.
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Old Sep 14, 2012, 1:19pm   #1724
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread past 1 pm, still in bed, 3 text messages from dude, none from gold digging freeloading lady

deleted them all without reading them: without communication i cannot be manipulated

listening to alternative radios

don't know how long it'll last but right now i have reached a balance of 9850 dollars, close to my target of 10k

i am officially back in the game, in the automated game i mean

Whereas last summer holiday, a year ago, was the end of my trading with the investors, due to exceeding our "uncle point", this vacation marks my second comeback since the investors called it quits.

By now i'd be at 25k if i hadn't messed up in april, with my discretionary trades, but hey, 10k is pretty good, too.

plus i got to skip a big drawdown in the past few weeks

46 hours to go with the two guests

they got used to coming into my house, without knocking and today they even left the door open, TO MY HOUSE. They take advantage of the fact that it's open, they open it, find the next door locked, and leave it open (many doors between me and them). Ok, now I've locked them all: door one, door two, door three, and door four.

I am fed up with them. I won't go out of my house and won't answer text messages all day long: 1) they'll get the message and 2) I am still somewhat sunburned so my back will rest.

I'd still like to go swimming at 7 pm, which I might very well do. Or like at 6 pm. But this time I need to go somewhere else, because I have... well, basically i have to hide my keys somewhere. Because I can't count on them not walking into my house and even my room, so I am not leaving anything unlocked anymore.
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Old Sep 14, 2012, 2:34pm   #1725
 
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Re: my journal 3

Yamato started this thread 44 hours to go

he's also listening to the radio, upstairs - or she is

i don't know who's upstairs, but presumably, since he stays at home longer, she's at the beach and he's upstairs listening to the radio.

maybe he got tired of treating her to the restaurant, and she found out that it isn't cheaper to eat at the restaurant than to buy food and eat it at home

Oh, and another thing i dislike about him is that he listened for the whole two hours trip to crappy music on the radio, drove like a madman, and his music sucked, and his driving is prone to causing deadly accidents - i am done with these guys - i hope after these few days together, they'll be the ones avoiding me

44 hours to go
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