Fed Up!!!

I'm feelin' so fed up tonight... Had a sh1te night in work. I hate my job (work in a pub). I can't trade for sh1t. Been trying to learn for over 2 years now and feel like I'm going backwards. Done very little actual trading in that time as I have not found an 'edge'. Doesn't help that I'm thick as pig sh1t. I keep thinking about giving the trading dream up but I can't.... I really want to be a trader and also I feel I can't do anything else because of my panic attacks - interviews and driving test are a no no as I either puke or faint I can drive alright I just can't do the test... If I could get a license I's like to start up a business doing carpet cleaning or something but I can't do the f**king test. Besides, I like the challenge of trading, it's definitely what I want to do I just feel like I am getting nowhere with it.

Anyway, I know y'all don't care I just need to have a good moan sometimes and there is nobody here to listen to me other than you guys.... My T2W friends. In fact I like you lot much more than my colleagues and customers!

So what do you guys do when you are really fed up and feeling low? How do you cheer yourselves up or relax? Any good jokes? Quotes? Words of wisdom? Sympathy? Ideas. N don't take the **** or I'll get Pazienza to behead you...

Sam.

megamuel said:

I'm feelin' so fed up tonight... Had a sh1te night in work. I hate my job (work in a pub). I can't trade for sh1t. Been trying to learn for over 2 years now and feel like I'm going backwards. Done very little actual trading in that time as I have not found an 'edge'. Doesn't help that I'm thick as pig sh1t. I keep thinking about giving the trading dream up but I can't.... I really want to be a trader and also I feel I can't do anything else because of my panic attacks - interviews and driving test are a no no as I either puke or faint I can drive alright I just can't do the test... If I could get a license I's like to start up a business doing carpet cleaning or something but I can't do the f**king test. Besides, I like the challenge of trading, it's definitely what I want to do I just feel like I am getting nowhere with it.

Anyway, I know y'all don't care I just need to have a good moan sometimes and there is nobody here to listen to me other than you guys.... My T2W friends. In fact I like you lot much more than my colleagues and customers!

So what do you guys do when you are really fed up and feeling low? How do you cheer yourselves up or relax? Any good jokes? Quotes? Words of wisdom? Sympathy? Ideas. N don't take the **** or I'll get Pazienza to behead you...

Sam.

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Mate,

Keep ya chin up.

As for a system just look at the 3 ducks system and follow that no more no less for weeks at a time. Add in a bit of support and resistance and a few trendlines and away you go. If you dont make it work you need to look inside yourself and any bad habits you may have. Use MT4 to chart and a different broker to trade so you can see if the broker is slippling you. Some do, some dont.

I aint the best trader but can make money from the 3 ducks when i actually have time to trade.

Remember there are even more people out there that will kick you in the b0llocks while your down so dont do it to yourself. You sound like a young lad so take things 1 step at a time.

You need to get to get your panic attacks sorted first as well. Nobody's perfect in this life so we just make do with what we got. Myself have fear of public speaking yet am confident and outgoing in life.

All the best

Ged

megamuel said:

I'm feelin' so fed up tonight... Had a sh1te night in work. I hate my job (work in a pub). I can't trade for sh1t. Been trying to learn for over 2 years now and feel like I'm going backwards. Done very little actual trading in that time as I have not found an 'edge'. Doesn't help that I'm thick as pig sh1t. I keep thinking about giving the trading dream up but I can't.... I really want to be a trader and also I feel I can't do anything else because of my panic attacks - interviews and driving test are a no no as I either puke or faint I can drive alright I just can't do the test... If I could get a license I's like to start up a business doing carpet cleaning or something but I can't do the f**king test. Besides, I like the challenge of trading, it's definitely what I want to do I just feel like I am getting nowhere with it.

Anyway, I know y'all don't care I just need to have a good moan sometimes and there is nobody here to listen to me other than you guys.... My T2W friends. In fact I like you lot much more than my colleagues and customers!

So what do you guys do when you are really fed up and feeling low? How do you cheer yourselves up or relax? Any good jokes? Quotes? Words of wisdom? Sympathy? Ideas. N don't take the **** or I'll get Pazienza to behead you...

Sam.

Click to expand...

I agree fully with Gedward. Find any of the more popular trading methodologies followed on this forum. Certainly 3 Ducks is simple. It could be a trend following system or an oscillating system, but it's essential to know the nature of the market at the time to lessen the risk. Back it up with good money and risk management techniques.

Above all to develop an edge takes time working with one system getting to know its characteristics and those of the market. It's no good flipping from one system to another for example.

On the positive side you have been a member here for 2 years and have not given up. That shows staying power - you have proved that you have it within you to succeed. You are also fearless in laying bare your soul, which bodes well for the future.

I think you need some help with the panic attacks and possibly low self-esteem. There is help that you can get on the NHS. These are very effective and I think this would help you feel like you have regained control of your life

e.g. http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Panic-disorder/Pages/Treatment.aspx

Besides these suggestions I think it might help to write things down and to break things up into lots of simple steps. At the moment it seems that you are overwhelmed. Take each of the things you want to achieve in every area of your life: job, trading, leisure time etc. Break each down into really simple short steps that you can take every day and tick off e.g trading could be: download trading plan template, read thread on 3 Ducks system and summarise on 1 page of A4 etc. Each day tick off these short simple steps and acknowledge that you are being active in moving towards your goals.

Finally I wish you good luck and a more postive future

Charlton

megamuel said:

I'm feelin' so fed up tonight... Had a sh1te night in work. I hate my job (work in a pub). I can't trade for sh1t. Been trying to learn for over 2 years now and feel like I'm going backwards. Done very little actual trading in that time as I have not found an 'edge'. Doesn't help that I'm thick as pig sh1t. I keep thinking about giving the trading dream up but I can't.... I really want to be a trader and also I feel I can't do anything else because of my panic attacks - interviews and driving test are a no no as I either puke or faint I can drive alright I just can't do the test... If I could get a license I's like to start up a business doing carpet cleaning or something but I can't do the f**king test. Besides, I like the challenge of trading, it's definitely what I want to do I just feel like I am getting nowhere with it.

Anyway, I know y'all don't care I just need to have a good moan sometimes and there is nobody here to listen to me other than you guys.... My T2W friends. In fact I like you lot much more than my colleagues and customers!

So what do you guys do when you are really fed up and feeling low? How do you cheer yourselves up or relax? Any good jokes? Quotes? Words of wisdom? Sympathy? Ideas. N don't take the **** or I'll get Pazienza to behead you...

Sam.

Click to expand...

Many have failed for years before becoming profitable. You're still about talking about trading, so you're half way there. Maybe you should look at stocks and look at your money management. It's a terrible market to trade at the moment.

Hi Sam,
I don't know you - other than your T2W persona - which could be a far cry from the 'real' you. That said, you've mentioned the issue of having panic attacks in the past and, on the basis of your OP, it sounds to me as if you're not much further forward. I'm not qualified to assess or diagnose psychological conditions but, nonetheless, it strikes me that you really need to address this problem before you can move on in your life. Furthermore, (I'm being devil's advocate here), some peeps reading your OP might wonder if you're using the panic attacks as an excuse for not doing the other things you say you would otherwise do - taking your driving test and starting a business etc? Just to be clear, I'm not saying you are doing that - merely that others might think it and perhaps you should consider it.

Regarding the trading issues you mention, I've just added a new FAQ in the last day or so which may be of interest: Nature Vs Nurture – are Good Traders Born or Made?
HTH,
Tim.

Hi Sam megamuel - Sorry to hear you're so down right now, but it's very good you're seeking advce / help / guidance /encouragement.

I have to wonder if you're in the right frame of mind to bne trading at all yet? You don't mention a significant other but you're obviously reasonably happy with people - you have a job in a pub and you enjoy interacting with the members here. When you mention panic attacks and starting a business, it's not the dealing with customers or staff that bothers you. But when you have to deal with all life's cr@p alone, it always seems worse.

Maybe you haven't done nuch trading becasue you haven't found an edge - I would say, 'Good! Why would you trade without one?' As for finding an edge, there are plenty of systems / general approaches around, one of which will suit your lifestyle and psycholgical approach to trading, risk and money. But you need to work out what sort of system will suit you before you resume the search, otherwise how will you know you've found the right one?

Definitely don't be seduced into relying on trading success and profits to cheer you up or make up for short-falls in other areas of life - far too much pressure comes from that attitude. Take a leaf from ther traditional oriental views of life - everything is connected, everything helps everything else, you can't fulfil your greatest potential in one area if other important areas are a disaster. But you're confronting issues, and that is step one.

So it's only interviews and driving tests where you panic?

You clearly don't have any real social anxiety if you are able to hold down a job working in a bar chatting to strangers all day, so its just the 'big' things which isn't terribly unusual.

Have you ever managed to actually take a driving test?

I completely **** myself in job interviews. My mind goes completely blank, and the whole situation becomes almost laughably embarrassing.
I was also very nervous in my driving tests, but not to the point where I was being sick or panicking. However, my instructor used to say that I was probably his best student, yet I still was unable to pass my test! Very frustrating. I gave up after failing 4 tests years ago and haven't tried since.

I know I have the ability to do lots of things, but nerves affect us in different ways. When im very nervous I just become completely useless, almost in a 'daze' like state!

Have you thought about beta-blockers? - Just for the odd occasion like a driving test?
Personally, my plan is to get some money saved up, and finally begin learning to drive again, with something to help control my nerves on the day, as well as possibly taking the test somewhere with a very high pass rate!

As for the trading - what can I say.
Don't kid yourself into thinking that everyone who says they make money does! There's about 10 guys here who make money in my opinion.
I'm not in a great position to give advice.
I tend to be able to breakeven or make money most weeks now as opposed to losing everyday! Improvement, but not 'there' yet.

I think it helped me, personally, by sticking to pretty much one instrument. I think its true that they all behave a little differently. I used to find myself jumping from instrument to instrument, using a different methodology everyday, never really feeling comfortable and it was all quite overwhelming.
I think one needs to have their own method developed by themselves, personally.
Journaling trades and results helps too.

when life seems hard and sh*t hits the fan....
.. atleast you're not this guy...

Sam, a few things;

Is there a level at which you could enjoy simply putting a trade on? I know Phil Newton (once of this Parish) suggests this; going down to a micro lot size were you feel no pressure just excitement/enjoyment/anticipation. Is there a small size were you can play around with a few mechanical strats. until you begin to develop an edge?

I've never been a betting man, but I know/see plenty of lads of my age that enjoy a bet, lots of my footy mates must lose twenty quid a week regularly on all kinds of weird/complex bets and shrug their shoulders. So could you lose the fear of pulling the trigger if you limited your losses to an absolute max of perhaps twenty quid, 200 pips on a micro account with Alpari/fxcm etc..? Using that 200 pips as a stop you could have 4 x 50 pip stop losses hit on the Euro a week taken off a one hour TF and it'd be unusal to lose four on the trot, but heh, if you do stick to the rules and that's it for the week..

As an aside I was having a discussion a year or so back with an SB firm suggesting that the women in the lives of lads that go to the bookies or play poker on line would probaby feel happier if their blokes were losing 20 quid on the FTSE or the Euro dollar rather than 20 quid on a nag at Haydock..After all we're betting on a 2 horse race for the most part aren't we?

I'm not gonna get involved in the deep stuff re. your psyche, the focus tends to be on a very narrow range of trading inolvement on T2W and you may or may not be suited to the one dimensional aspect of trading. The wider industry may still have massive opportunity (for you) if you have the desire to be involved in the industry in another capacity and not just 'pulling the trigger'. You may be limited by where you live but I reckon you're young enough with little ties to up sticks if nec..

Anyhow, that's enough from me, just thinking out loud I may have another suggestion for you relating to the hedge fund industry which I came across this week..pm me for details if you want. I'll reply later next week.

redart said:

So it's only interviews and driving tests where you panic?

You clearly don't have any real social anxiety if you are able to hold down a job working in a bar chatting to strangers all day, so its just the 'big' things which isn't terribly unusual.

Have you ever managed to actually take a driving test?

I completely **** myself in job interviews. My mind goes completely blank, and the whole situation becomes almost laughably embarrassing.
I was also very nervous in my driving tests, but not to the point where I was being sick or panicking. However, my instructor used to say that I was probably his best student, yet I still was unable to pass my test! Very frustrating. I gave up after failing 4 tests years ago and haven't tried since.

I know I have the ability to do lots of things, but nerves affect us in different ways. When im very nervous I just become completely useless, almost in a 'daze' like state!

Have you thought about beta-blockers? - Just for the odd occasion like a driving test?
Personally, my plan is to get some money saved up, and finally begin learning to drive again, with something to help control my nerves on the day, as well as possibly taking the test somewhere with a very high pass rate!

As for the trading - what can I say.
Don't kid yourself into thinking that everyone who says they make money does! There's about 10 guys here who make money in my opinion.
I'm not in a great position to give advice.
I tend to be able to breakeven or make money most weeks now as opposed to losing everyday! Improvement, but not 'there' yet.

I think it helped me, personally, by sticking to pretty much one instrument. I think its true that they all behave a little differently. I used to find myself jumping from instrument to instrument, using a different methodology everyday, never really feeling comfortable and it was all quite overwhelming.
I think one needs to have their own method developed by themselves, personally.
Journaling trades and results helps too.

Click to expand...

I remember my driving test. My leg was bouncing up and down off the clutch.

u want wisdom read your signature ...

Joke ....



seriously panic attacks in interviews is expected , make interviews for the sake of training , dont take the job , only make interviews to train yourself , u will not have these attacks cuz u r not under pressure , trading is the same thing dont trade under pressure , if u r the type of trader who revenge trading and manage to blew his accounts , then move to US brokers instead of spreadbetting , the max leverage in the US for forex "if u trade forex" is 50:1 which is alot yeah but at least it is much less than Igindex and the rest of SB firms where u can lose the whole lot in one trade ! , i dont know your situation in trading and if this applies to u or not but if u r from this type then move to US forex brokers ...

Wise words above imho

but you should be able to get self confidence by achieving

just a little at first - e.g. time yourself around the local park. Next time a little quicker - small but significant as all the small achievements lift your psyche and self image

try the local gym

karate etc.

megamuel said:

I really want to be a trader and also I feel I can't do anything else because of my panic attacks.

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St Johns Wart, seriously. I used to have bad panic attacks for no apparent reason, usually after waking up in the mornings and during work. I started taking the stuff and it put my in a more relaxed state of mind where I could objectively assess what the underlying issues were. I haven't had a had a panic attack in years.

Well mega if this is just a flash of despair then don't worry it happens to everyone sometimes. As everyone says pick yourself up and keep fighting..

If you are serious, however, and this is a consistent problem (panic attacks, problems with pressure etc) then trading probably isn't for you. In my opinion emotional stability is the most important characteristic to becoming a successful trader.

Good luck with everything anyway

brettus said:

I remember my driving test. My leg was bouncing up and down off the clutch.

Click to expand...

I remember my driving test, too. 1952, how's that?

In those days the instructor said "Read me the license plate of that blue car parked across the street. MMmm. Eyesight good" Life was, sometimes, easier then.

When I'm fed up I spill it to my wife and she says "You've got problems, listen to what happened to me, this morning" So there is, always, someone worse off than you.

My sister was a blind diabetic. She had it rough but she always knew when someone else was worse off than her and, always, thanked her lucky stars.

I find trading to be quite trying emotionally. In your current state I think it unlikely that you will be able to operate effectively.

If I were you, I would go back and do a thorough back test that demonstrates a positive expectancy. Then I would forward test for a few months, and finally go live with pennies. Once you have been profitable for a period of six months or so, consider trading with real money. By that stage the experience of succeeding with your method should help you cope with the inevitable ups and downs of trading.

But, if you're looking for trading to give you something, solve other problems in your life and so on, it won't work. That's like those couples who have a baby hoping it will fix the relationship. It never will, the additional stress and pressure will just destroy you more quickly.

By the way, two years is nothing in the grand scheme of things. People can take a lot longer than that to get it right.

Splitlink said:

I remember my driving test, too. 1952, how's that?

In those days the instructor said "Read me the license plate of that blue car parked across the street. MMmm. Eyesight good" Life was, sometimes, easier then.

When I'm fed up I spill it to my wife and she says "You've got problems, listen to what happened to me, this morning" So there is, always, someone worse off than you.

My sister was a blind diabetic. She had it rough but she always knew when someone else was worse off than her and, always, thanked her lucky stars.

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Excellent post Split. Thank you.

Stop whining you ****

No, just joking.

I started writing down my reasons for entering a trade about 2 months back and the beginnings of a strategy emerged for that. Also go back to demo or single microlots for a while as others suggested.

Have you thought about becoming a trading vendor.

Vending is much easier than trading if you have the personality for it.

Have a look at the Coaching vendors on trade2win, none of them are good enough to make a living at trading but still manage to sucker newbs into handing £100's or even £1000s for some BS coaching.

megamuel said:

I'm feelin' so fed up tonight... Had a sh1te night in work. I hate my job (work in a pub). I can't trade for sh1t. Been trying to learn for over 2 years now and feel like I'm going backwards. Done very little actual trading in that time as I have not found an 'edge'. Doesn't help that I'm thick as pig sh1t. I keep thinking about giving the trading dream up but I can't.... I really want to be a trader and also I feel I can't do anything else because of my panic attacks - interviews and driving test are a no no as I either puke or faint I can drive alright I just can't do the test... If I could get a license I's like to start up a business doing carpet cleaning or something but I can't do the f**king test. Besides, I like the challenge of trading, it's definitely what I want to do I just feel like I am getting nowhere with it.

Anyway, I know y'all don't care I just need to have a good moan sometimes and there is nobody here to listen to me other than you guys.... My T2W friends. In fact I like you lot much more than my colleagues and customers!

So what do you guys do when you are really fed up and feeling low? How do you cheer yourselves up or relax? Any good jokes? Quotes? Words of wisdom? Sympathy? Ideas. N don't take the **** or I'll get Pazienza to behead you...

Sam.

Click to expand...

I don't generally talk about the bad things in my personal life, but this post got to me. I can't really help with trading, I'm just getting my feet under me with thrading. I will tell you that I have been at this for 17 years off and on. The problem was me, not the methods I was trying.
What I can give you advice on is the personal problems, I, like others, have had my share of them. First I grew up in a house with a religious nut for a mom and a severe alcoholic for a dad. So in my when I left that unbearable house as a youn man i started doing drugs to cope with all the years of crap. Meth, to be exact. After 2 years of meth, I quit cold turkey. Then becuase I hadn't developed a coping mechanism I turned to alcohol. Several years ago I stopped drinking for a year just to prove to myself I could. Now I never drink if it will interfere with any detail of my life. I have 3 step-kids, one adopted child, one biological, and me and my wife work opposite shifts. Therefore I rarely drink, once or twice a month. And there is a fairly decent possibility that I may be going through a divorce sometime in the near future.

This is not to "toot my own horn" but a little background to give my next words some validity.
Your issues and how they manifest themselves ate different than mine, but you absolutely can overcome them. You are capable. You have to train your mind to absolutely do whatever is nessicary to achieve your goals. Get proffesional help, find a support group, force yourself to do one thing every day that makes you uncomfortable. Do whatever it takes.
I knew a girl who overcame agoraphobia by doing just this, she opened the blinds for increasingly longer periods every day, then opened the door ect ect.

As far as the trading goes, I'm not even to a breakeven staus yet in my account, but I'm getting there slowly. But the thing that I've found to be the most reliable so far is to compress a chart, find obvious zones of support and resistance, wait till price gets there and look for continuation or reversal patterns. It's stupidly simple, but it works.

Good luck dude, and remember, you absolutely have the power to change your life.