Fitbit $FIT Introduces New Line Of Wearable Tech


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SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - Over the past few months, shares of Fitbit (FIT) have plummeted, shaking the confidence of investors, which has led the technology pioneer to take a giant step forward.

Fitbit CEO James Park unveiled an exciting new product at the 2016 Technology Showcase that he wagering will increase investment in his wearable-tech company.

"The time is now for us to expand our reach as a company," said Park. "We are please to announce the Fitbit Full, an exciting new product that will revolutionize the concept of wearable technology."

Park went on to demonstrate the capability of the Fitbit Full, the first full-body suit that will monitor every bodily function down to the amount of perspiration from each pore in the skin. He even claimed that the cerebral interface will be able to track the mood of users and disseminate that information through a specialized app.

"I'm super-excited about this app," said Marlon Graves, Lead Developer of Fitbit Full. "The applications are endless. Law enforcement and nightlife immediately come to mind, but there is so much more. Just imagine, a professional athlete looking to hit the club can check the app and see if there's a spike in negativity. If he sees it, he can just find another club to go to, lessening his chance of getting into trouble."

While the reception to the technology has been highly positive throughout Silicon Valley, some reporters were put off by the clunky appearance of the Fitbit Full.

"People are going to wear this thing?" asked Dave Parsimony, Writer at CNET. "It looks a bit clunky to me. It looks like something Tony Stark would have invented had he smoked an incredible amount of crack-cocaine."

Molly Macgrowens, Blogger at TechRadar, was also skeptical. "I wouldn't step into that thing unless I was ready to explore the Titanic. I hope it's bulletproof, that would be something."

Park was quick to counter the negativity. "The standard model is not bulletproof, but for an additional charge, users can explore a myriad of upgrade possibilities. Kevlar lining and catheter support among them. We are also going to comb through the feedback we get from our users and use their suggestions to design other upgrades."

For pictures of the suit, check out Trendsmasher
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