Girlfriends and Wives and Trading.

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Old Jun 28, 2009, 10:27pm   #1
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Girlfriends and Wives and Trading.

I find my biggest handicap in trading is my wife. (Or is it that by trading I escape the wife? lol). Oh F*uck, seriously, she just came in and read that! I am in big trouble!

She wants me to sociailise with her, by watching T.V. ff sake, I do not call that socialising. 'Can you switch off that computer and spend time with me?' watching T.V, yeah right. At least what I am doing is pro-active.

Going to bed long after she has, is not to good for us, I do not need as much sleep as her anyway. She has just asked me if this is a fad. I don't know? Depends if I think I can make proper money out of this or not.

I am trying to work on longer time frames, to lesson screen times, she still complains.

I work full time, any suggestions, or tips on this balancing act?

By the way she is first the first to complain if we do not have enough money to do something. What am I trying to do, I am trying to find a way of generating extra income for her and our son.

Do you find yourself in a similar situation, how is this situation affecting you?

I felt like she was about to to go down the of route of its trading or me.

Last edited by Jason101; Jun 29, 2009 at 7:14pm. Reason: -
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Old Jun 28, 2009, 11:33pm   #2
 
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Interesting... trade to live or live to trade? What's your goal in trading? How does that have a bearing on your life? You need to discuss things with your wife. Trading does take a lot of time esp when you're learning but the rewards can be that you end up with more time to live your life.
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 12:00am   #3
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Interesting... trade to live or live to trade? What's your goal in trading? How does that have a bearing on your life? You need to discuss things with your wife. Trading does take a lot of time esp when you're learning but the rewards can be that you end up with more time to live your life.

Thanks for you reply,

My ambitious goal, would be that she could give up work and become a full time mother. Which is what she desperately wants. She is consumed with the thoughts that by working she is missing out on being a full time mother to our pre-school son and making it harder to achieve a potential sibling. We have a pretty modest income and mortgage, her input to be replace would be about £700 PCM. I am not interested in more possessions. Maybe I should show her this reply, so she knows my motives?

It seems like a pipe dream, with trading being so hard. At the moment I am working on various candle stick reversal patterns on key s/r areas, with some success but need to improvement on management and exits.

Kind Regards
Jason
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 12:08am   #4
 
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you have probably come to realize that you should verbalise this with her, communication is key in a relationship and you dont want to be misinterpreted.

trading is not easy, I found i was just going round in circles at the beginning, each time i came full circle, something would click, then back around I would go until something else clicked.

this endevour can take many years until you start to realise some success, but then again it is not gauranteed that even if you do stick it out, it will work out as you initially thought.

its all a risk.
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 12:09am   #5
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One of the best books I've ever read is 'Come Into My Trading Room' by Dr Alexander Elder. I know you didn't ask for advice on books, but this really is an excellent book on Trading, and helps you clarify your reasons for trading and what you hope to acheive.

Best of luck, dude.
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 12:36am   #6
 
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don't have this problem coz im a fag
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 12:50am   #7
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don't have this problem coz im a fag
Sounds good, whats your phone number?
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 1:02am   #8
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It doesnt matter how many times you explain why your doing this and why it takes up so much time etc etc...all non interested wives see is you disappearing off to the other room and to that dammed machine again.....and after that you get....is there something I should know ?

However, I firmly believe if you do manage to get a deep level of understanding....then you have every chance of making it....behind every successful person there is good support.
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 1:24am   #9
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tell her to get back in the kitchen and to be quiet...
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 1:24am   #10
 
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behind every successful person there is good support.
Jason, communicate, communicate, communicate... and communicate, until this sinks into her brain
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 1:43am   #11
 
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Make sure you let her know risk/reward and agree to that, otherwise you'll get into trouble when learning and get into rough periods
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 1:51am   #12
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Originally Posted by Jason101 View Post
I find my biggest handicap in trading is my wife. (Or is it that by trading I escape the wife?). Oh F*uck, seriously, she just came in and read that! I am in big trouble!

She wants me to sociailise with her, by watching T.V. ff sake, I do not call that socialising. 'Can you switch off that computer and spend time with me?' watching T.V, yeah right. At least what I am doing is pro-active.

Going to bed long after she has, is not to good for us, I do not need as much sleep as her anyway. She has just asked me if this is a fad. I don't know? Depends if I think I can make proper money out of this or not.

I am trying to work on longer time frames, to lesson screen times, she still complains.

I work full time, any suggestions, or tips on this balancing act?

By the way she is first the first to complain if we do not have enough money to do something. What am I trying to do, I am trying to find a way of generating extra income for her and our son.

Do you find yourself in a similar situation, how is this situation affecting you?

I felt like she was about to to go down the of route of its trading or me.
Sounds like she might want to cuddle up with you on the sofa a bit , and perhaps she feels a bit left out. A lot depends on how serious you want to get with trading, honesty is important. No point telling your wife , ohh I'll just give it a go for a few months, if you really think.... I have to do this for me at all costs.

So you knowing you and relating that to your wife to air any concerns is a step. Don't worry what you want for you, just be honest with yourself, and this goes for your wife's ambitions for herself too.

Now some partners may worry that they are losing their other half's or that they feel unwanted or rejected, less desired perhaps, especially those with a more needy character. So maybe reassurance of feelings for them should be reinforced in order for them to worry less on this matter.

I think perhaps traders over time, become more aware of self and hence more aware of others as a result, which may mean home traders having to not only manage themselves suitably in order to be able to perform with trading,but also results in them having to manage and counsel their partners and their partners fears, which will become more apparent as the traders own awareness expands. But sometimes giving the wife a jolly good seeing to & a few pints will suffice !

Hip Hop.
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 2:05am   #13
 
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Solutions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason101 View Post
Thanks for you reply,
My ambitious goal, would be that she could give up work and become a full time mother. Which is what she desperately wants. She is consumed with the thoughts that by working she is missing out on being a full time mother to our pre-school son and making it harder to achieve a potential sibling. We have a pretty modest income and mortgage, her input to be replace would be about £700 PCM.

Kind Regards
Jason
If you are truly interested in making this work Jason, perhaps this could be a solution for you:

ALLOW YOUR WIFE TO BECOME THE TRADER IN THE FAMILY

Now this may seem anaethema to you ... but work it out:

1) Women are supposed to make better traders than men
2) This would allow her to bring an income and give up work
3) It would allow her to remain in the home at the times she is needed to be a mum
4) It would take pressure off you
5) You would discover that you would learn to trade so much faster by learning from your wife

Trader_Dante brought this very subject to our attention here:

http://www.trade2win.com/boards/gene...te-trader.html

I am still getting through the thread - but it does touch a nerve doesn't it?

I really think that the life of a trader is not really compatible with family life. I have found a way to trade by employing a policy of "peaceful co-existance" but it has cost me in many ways - personally and it has cost my family too - in ways they did not expect nor deserve.

But they "tolerate" my disappearing into the study, as long as I do make the effort to touch base with them all in a meaningful way every day, and give some real presence of myself to them at those times.

I don't always of course - at least not (from my heart) at times.

Why?

Because I am a trader before all else!

And that is the addiction newbies are embarking upon!

Trader_Dante has chosen his name well -

Dante's "Divine Comedy" was named in translation as: "All hope abandon ye who enter here"

This was the supposed inscription on the gates at the entrance to Hell.

Through me you pass into the city of woe:
Through me you pass into eternal pain:
Through me among the people lost for aye.

Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:
To rear me was the task of power divine,
Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.

Before me things create were none, save things
Eternal, and eternal I endure.
All hope abandon ye who enter here.

Such characters in colour dim I mark'd
Over a portal's lofty arch inscrib'd:
Whereat I thus: Master, these words import.


And that is what trading is - a fight for control.

Do you control your trading ... or does it control you?

The answer will come the first time your wife asks you to do a small chore for her at the time of the London Open!

Well?

With best wishes

Ivan
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 6:36am   #14
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All blokes need cave time, but knowing when you've been in that cave too long is the tricky part.

Perhaps find a trading strategy that requires no more than an hour of your attention a day perhaps? Set ups with longer timeframes need less screen time ... I hold a position for about 3-6 weeks, and spend about six hours a week in the cave. The missus is ok with that.
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Old Jun 29, 2009, 7:34am   #15
 
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Don't listen to any of these lying fools.

Quit while you still can.

Would you risk losing your wife and child?

Continue on this path and it is an assured fact that you'll lose both.

Walk out of here and don't ever come back.
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