Joke of the day

This is a discussion on Joke of the day within the The Foyer forums, part of the Off the Grid category; A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are shipwrecked on a desert island with only a can of beans to ...

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Old Oct 8, 2003, 10:20am   #31
 
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A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are shipwrecked on a desert island with only a can of beans to eat and no way to open it.

The physicist makes a suggestion: "I can calculate just the right angle, mass, and velocity of a projectile that will knock the top off the can."

"No!" the economist cries, "That might spill the beans." The chemist then says, "I can make a compound from some local plants that will eat through the tin and open the can." "Fool! That would contaminate the beans!" says the Economist.

Exasperated, the other two ask the economist if he has a plan. "Of course!" says the economist, "The solution is simple. First, we assume we have a can opener..."
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 10:22am   #32
 
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Huw, I only got 125 on the 'Ultimate IQ Test' and I need 126 to be able to join!
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 3:03pm   #33
 
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well, of course... eagles can't talk.
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 3:10pm   #34
 
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but if they could, what would they say?
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 3:19pm   #35
 
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same souls?
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 3:27pm   #36
 
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If it's an american thing us brits will probably not get it.

And that's from the guy who only got 401 on the test...

No hold on, that's the wrong way round...
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 3:51pm   #37
 
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err - souls?
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 3:56pm   #38
 
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A middle-aged woman was looking at herself in the full length bedroom mirror before getting into bed. "Just look at me" she said. "I'm going grey, my arms have gone all flabby, my boobs have drooped, my tummy is too big and my thighs are all cellulite". Turning to her husband she said "Tell me something positive about myself".

He thought for a moment, and then said "I see your eyesight is still as good as ever"!
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 4:20pm   #39
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On the subject of intelligence discussed above, I dont know if anyone saw BBC 2 last night about the traits of millionaires and entrepreneurs ?

Anyway one common apsect was that, by normal IQ measurements, they werent too bright and many suffered from dyslexia. What they did have was unusually high energy levels, belief in their ability, single mindedness and when they didnt like the rules to something they just changed them to allow themselves to be successful.

By those standards I am not looking good to become a millionaire.


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Old Oct 8, 2003, 4:35pm   #40
 
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Hi
Try this brain teaser. Some of you may get this very quickly, then again you may not.
A man and his son are involved in a car accident. The man is killed and his son is taken to hospital with serious injuries for which he will need an operation. The surgeon meets him on the way to the operating room and shouts; Oh my god thats my son! How come?
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 4:39pm   #41
 
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The surgeon is his mother! She had been left behind 'cos women can't read maps.
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 4:47pm   #42
 
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well done! Your too good for me. Where did it leave that map!
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 5:13pm   #43
 
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Are you full of gorm if you're the opposite of gormless?
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 5:32pm   #44
 
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surely Dr Lecter, you are mistaken. Eagles, not wanting to be impolite, do not want to reply 'Ah.. souls' in reply to 'Ah.. Eagles'.

not quite sure where you get 'Ah soul eagles', or am I missing something.
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Old Oct 8, 2003, 6:03pm   #45
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Dr L,

You dont think that we are gullible enough to believe that gullible is not in the dictionary do you ?


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